pandabare61
I had to let me cat Foxy go on saturday. She was 15 years old and my service animal for PTSD. I have been having a really hard time dealing with this. I cant walk through my house without crying. I cant eat without crying cause she ate everything I ate, even vegetables. My therapist is the one who sent me to this page so I could learn that what I'm going through is normal and that I'm not crazy for feeling this way. I did have her cremated and I will get her remains in the next week but it still doesnt make it any better. It hurts a lot. 

Tracy
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JulieF
Tracy,

I am so sorry for the loss of your special friend, Foxy.  You obviously had a special bond, particularly with your PTSD.  What you are feeling is completely normal and you are not crazy.  I had to put my tuxedo cat Patch down last Monday due to the kidney failure finally getting the better of him.  We were together for 19 years - I had him since he was a kitten.  The first few days the grief was so acute I felt like I was drowning in it.  I was afraid to go home after work because there were reminders of him everywhere - his food dish, his special litter box in the garage (he loved being out there recently - I think he was not feeling well), the fur he left on the chairs he slept on.  I did laundry on Saturday and I could not help but think I was washing part of him away.  The grief would come in waves (actually probably the more accurate description is tsunami) and I could not stop crying.  A very good friend of mine pointed out that part of our grief is that the tasks we used to do to care for them, giving them medicine, feeding them, caring for them, are now no longer occupying parts of our day - so those hours are big holes with nothing in them.  I will tell you that after the first few days, I started to feel better in tiny increments.  I got some photos of him out when he was younger and wrote down some of my memories.  I cried and I laughed.  The joy they bring to our lives is irreplaceable.  They filled our hearts and now that part is missing.  

This forum will help you a lot - it has helped me.  There are many kind people who are going through the same thing. 

I hoped this helped you.  Hugs and bless you.
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Buffy
Tracy, you most definitely are not crazy. The loss of a furry family member is extremely hard because they are with us 24/7. Most people aren't even with you every second of every day. So when they're gone, it's natural to feel a void. Everything we're used to doing is now gone... The happiness they brought us daily is gone. It's so extremely hard adapting to that kind of change. Especially for us that were so very close to our pets. For those of us that look at our pets as children. For those of us that our entire day revolved around our pets.

I've lost many pets in my life. I have always been an animal lover. When I lost my Mina last year, I thought I would never recover. I was constantly depressed. Constantly missing her. It did get easier like Julie said. But the only thing that really helped me to even attempt to move on was adopting another dog. But even doing that brought me a ton of guilt at first. I guess I felt like I was replacing her. I wasn't. I realized that later. Because I've never truly stopped missing her. The new dog just gave me something happier to focus on. She gave me a reason to smile again.

And now I'm going through this again a year later, with the loss of my mom's dog, Pixie.

You're not alone. We all go through this. It is our burden, I guess, for being animal lovers. But even though it is hard, I'm sure you loved Foxy with everything you had, and Foxy felt that love. Foxy knew how much she meant to you. And Foxy will forever be in your heart.
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pandabare61
It is getting easier although today is 1 week. I made a memorial for her and i put a little notebook so I could write to her everyday. I have other animals but none were like Foxy and I'm going to miss her for a while. Thank you to everyone who wrote to me. It helps alot.
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JulieF
Glad you are able to make a memorial and the notebook idea is good - I might try that as well.  Every day I remember something - we had a lot of memories with 19 years together.  Sometimes it is surreal and I can't believe he is gone.  I understand how you feel about Foxy - that was my Patch.  
I am glad it is getting easier - that does not mean we are forgetting them or that we don't miss them as much - rather it is our way to heal and be able to remember the good times we had with our pets.  Like Buffy said, we are animal lovers so we will always feel this about our four-legged kids.  It hurts when they have to leave us.  But I would not change a thing.

Hugs to you.
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