Today is the the fourth week without my Lady. I miss her sooo much!!!!! It seems like a lifetime without her. I picked up her ashes about two weeks ago. A mistake was made about the urn... so I was just given the ashes sealed in a plastic bag and placed in a Crown Royal type drawstring velvet pouch. Here's where it starts to get weird. I have not looked inside the bag, but find holding and kissing the outside very comforting. I know that it will never replace the real Lady. I hold it while watching tv and later place it in her favorite chair. It helps to pick it up when I am feeling very sad. Yesterday, for the first time, I whistled and called out for Lady like I always did when I wanted her to come to me. That brought one of the few smiles in the last month. What hurts is that I will be going along doing something when suddenly, I will realize that she is no longer here. When that happens, the breath leaves my lungs and my body seems to collapse a little knowing that I will never see her again. This was my first all digital dog... so I am busy making backups off all the pictures that are on my computer. I really feel for all of you out there that are going through this healing process. My prayers are with you. I still have not dreamed of my little princess.... which is strange since she is always on my mind.Here is something a friend sent me. Hope it helps.
A Letter from the Rainbow Bridge
Now that I’ve been across The Rainbow Bridge for a couple weeks, they said I should write a letter home. Sorry, mum, but I’m so busy ‘across the bridge’ that I haven’t thought of home much. They said it’s okay and that you would understand. I hope you do. (I think you will.)
Remember that night when I wasn’t feeling very well and we were all crying? I don’t remember much, but I do remember seeing and hearing all of you and feeling your touches and hugs…I remember hearing “we love you” and that one last command of “Go through”. I didn’t know what you meant, so I turned around and walked through the fog that was in front of me. I saw the biggest bridge I’ve ever seen! And so many friends on the other side of it! They were all playing with toys and balls! You were right to tell me to go there!
My feet kept moving forward, but my heart kept pulling me back. Your touches became lighter and lighter and I wanted to come back and nudge your hands for more love, but I was overcome by this feeling of curiosity for the happy place over the bridge! My feet started moving on their own, like a gentle breeze was moving them forward for me! I can’t explain it, but I had no doubt that it was the right thing to do!
So, I walked across that big, huge bridge by myself! I looked for you, because you’re always by my side, walking with me, but this was different. I didn’t have a collar around my neck or a leash connecting me to you ~ I was ‘free’! Even though you weren’t there with me, I never felt alone! I actually felt like I had a huge cape of love wrapped around my body and the more I walked, the easier it was to breathe! So, I kept walking! And I would feel more warmth in the big hug, so I kept on walking! I eventually made it over the big bridge – I did it by myself, mum!
When I got here, all of my new friends greeted me and helped me walk off the bridge ~ it was so cool! They gave me a pair of wings and said that I was now a Guardian Angel!
What I’ve learned over these past few weeks has been amazing and nothing like I’ve seen before! We’re all the same up here ~ we all have wings and we all have Forever People to watch over ~ that’s YOU, mum!You’re my Forever Person and I’m your Forever Dog! We had such a great life together and I do miss you a LOT, but please know that I am so happy in my new home across The Bridge!
I’ll send you another Earth Angel so you won’t be alone. Give them your whole heart, like you gave it to me. I’ll check in every so often to make sure they treasure your love ~ I always did! When you miss me, think of a rainbow and know I’m on the other side of it, waiting to walk with you again. I’ll always be in your heart. I love you, mum! Time for me to go play