Today is the  the fourth week without my Lady. I miss her sooo much!!!!! It seems like a lifetime without her. I picked up her ashes about two weeks ago. A mistake was made about the urn... so I was just given the ashes sealed in a plastic bag and placed in a Crown Royal type drawstring velvet pouch. Here's where it starts to get weird. I have not looked inside the bag, but find holding and kissing the outside very comforting. I know that it will never replace the real Lady. I hold it while watching tv and later place it in her favorite chair. It helps to pick it up when I am feeling very sad. Yesterday, for the first time, I whistled and called out for Lady like I always did when I wanted her to come to me. That brought one of the few smiles in the last month. What hurts is that I will be going along doing something when suddenly, I will realize that she is no longer here. When that happens, the breath leaves my lungs and my body seems to collapse a little knowing that I will never see her again. This was my first all digital dog... so I am busy making backups off all the pictures that are on my computer. I really feel for all of you out there that are going through this healing process. My prayers are with you. I still have not dreamed of my little princess.... which is strange since she is always on my mind.Here is something a friend sent me. Hope it helps.

A Letter from the Rainbow Bridge

Hi, Mum
Now that I’ve been across The Rainbow Bridge for a couple weeks, they said I should write a letter home. Sorry, mum, but I’m so busy ‘across the bridge’ that I haven’t thought of home much. They said it’s okay and that you would understand. I hope you do. (I think you will.)
Remember that night when I wasn’t feeling very well and we were all crying? I don’t remember much, but I do remember seeing and hearing all of you and feeling your touches and hugs…I remember hearing “we love you” and that one last command of “Go through”. I didn’t know what you meant, so I turned around and walked through the fog that was in front of me. I saw the biggest bridge I’ve ever seen! And so many friends on the other side of it! They were all playing with toys and balls! You were right to tell me to go there!
My feet kept moving forward, but my heart kept pulling me back. Your touches became lighter and lighter and I wanted to come back and nudge your hands for more love, but I was overcome by this feeling of curiosity for the happy place over the bridge! My feet started moving on their own, like a gentle breeze was moving them forward for me! I can’t explain it, but I had no doubt that it was the right thing to do!
So, I walked across that big, huge bridge by myself! I looked for you, because you’re always by my side, walking with me, but this was different. I didn’t have a collar around my neck or a leash connecting me to you ~ I was ‘free’! Even though you weren’t there with me, I never felt alone! I actually felt like I had a huge cape of love wrapped around my body and the more I walked, the easier it was to breathe! So, I kept walking! And I would feel more warmth in the big hug, so I kept on walking! I eventually made it over the big bridge – I did it by myself, mum!
When I got here, all of my new friends greeted me and helped me walk off the bridge ~ it was so cool! They gave me a pair of wings and said that I was now a Guardian Angel!
What I’ve learned over these past few weeks has been amazing and nothing like I’ve seen before! We’re all the same up here ~ we all have wings and we all have Forever People to watch over ~ that’s YOU, mum!You’re my Forever Person and I’m your Forever Dog! We had such a great life together and I do miss you a LOT, but please know that I am so happy in my new home across The Bridge!
I’ll send you another Earth Angel so you won’t be alone. Give them your whole heart, like you gave it to me. I’ll check in every so often to make sure they treasure your love ~ I always did! When you miss me, think of a rainbow and know I’m on the other side of it, waiting to walk with you again. I’ll always be in your heart. I love you, mum! Time for me to go play

Here i am......see me !!

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Hi Bret,I think you are doing great. It's nice to have something physical to cling to when you miss your friend so deeply. My loss was a bird,so I got some of his feathers and put them in a locket. I carry that thing with me all the time and often fall asleep with it in my hand. I understand the digital thing. I was so worried my phone or computer would crash the first thing I did was get them all on print. Eased my mind a bit anyway. I'm so sorry you lost Lady. I too keep praying Easter will visit me in my dreams so I can hold him again,but no luck yet. Dreams are a weird thing I gues. I find talking to Easter or even wishing him good night as usual helps. She's still with you,in your heart. I hope you find peace in your heart and you start to heal. Until then,you're in the right place
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Dear Bret,
I, too, lost my dog Chibi 4 weeks ago tomorrow.  You and I are soul-mates in our loss along with the others on this website of comfort.  The tactile feel of anything that is your Lady is comforting even in the Crown Royal bag!  I have the cremains of my other dog Sony and my daughter's rabbit Andy on our fireplace mantle.  That was about 13 years ago.  This time I opted not to have Chibi's remains returned to me and our long-time vet/neighbor said they'd be scattered in a pet section of an old Omaha cemetery called "Graceland."  I couldn't help but think Chibi would be puzzled to be buried "with" Elvis!  I spoke with my daughter when she visited over the holidays (luckily for me she was here when I had to let Chibi go) and she agreed we'd scatter Sony's and Andy's ashes when it gets warmer rather than my having to keep them.  It's funny how we were able to bury numerous gerbils and hamsters out in the backyard without a lot of tears!  But then dogs are truly special friends of us humans.

I'd never read "A Letter from Rainbow Bridge" before and it really caused me to smile and cry and melt inside.  Thank you for posting it.  I share your bottomless grief as Lady didn't come running at your whistle.  That happened to me last evening as the cold sun went down and shadows played tricks on my mind.  Chibi didn't come running at my call either but I know she's safe and warm in my heart and memory as your Lady is in yours.  

I'm also thinking about getting a photo album put together of Chibi over the past 13-1/2 years.  I made sure my files got backed up on my external hard drive!  It will definitely be a labor of love.  Good luck on your project, too!

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bret, so sorry for your loss of lady and thank you for posting the "letter from rainbow bridge".  I read it just a little while ago and would have replied could I find my thoughts from the total meltdown I had reading it.  it is comforting to believe that our babies walked over the bridge with a warm hug that kept them walking forward rather than running straight back to us and the pain they would have remained in were they to stay earthbound for longer.  crikey i'm crying again typing this but I do believe our beloved babies are running free and playing without illness or injuries any longer and perhaps in a younger body or just younger attitude since they no longer "feel age".  I am also in my 4th week without my dear roxie and I too still find myself calling to her or talking aloud telling her "kibbles" (omg though not as bad as I did that first few days to 2 weeks).  the letter you offered to us is comfort and I thank you kindly for posting it here.  with all the pain and heartache here a few smiles are always welcome.  take care, many hugs and thoughts with prayers.
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Bret, I lost my beautiful old boy Jim 5 weeks ago, we had him cremated too and when we went to pick his ashes up I felt like he had come home. We have them on the little cushion he used to rest his head on when he slept so much in his last few months, and take them upstairs with us at night.  I still have moments when I walk in the room expecting to see him - it really hits home when reality kicks in a second or two later..

   I would love to think of all our beloved little friends sending us The Letter from Rainbow Bridge, it made me happy and sad at the same time to read it, but also find it so comforting. Thank you for posting it. Sending peace to all on this lovely forum, it certainly was a Godsend to me in the early days knowing I wasn`t alone.
           Jackie. x
J Taylor
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