Faceinyou

It’s been half a year. A tragic unexpected young pet of mine ...passed away and in very cruel way to my heart. A car ...one minute here and vivacious the next minute off to cremate him. It just can’t be ...why ? I’ll never forget him. 

well it’s about 1/2 a year as I said and all there is ...is love our pets and each other.

I’m sad as can be but love is why I’m sad ...it’s so hard to remember why it hurts so bad. Please everyone remember love ....it is truly what is important ....I’m not saying to try to block out the incredible unbelievable sadness...
just remember love....love. I send my thoughts to every Person and every pet here that we love. Love love love ...it’s i impossible to feel so sad without love. They are pure love and so are we. - Love ! Don’t forget when you cry LOVE LOVE!!!!

Toby’s Dad
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Pecan_mom
I’m so sorry for your loss.  Thank you for sending us all much needed positive energy.  I have lost my dog Pecan 8 weeks ago and I’m so sad and can’t get up.  So many what ifs and I should haves and guilt.  She got sick and passed away as soon as we rushed her to the vet.  She had no illness before.  I keep thinking what if I took her in sooner? Maybe she could have been saved.  I loved her with all my heart and treated her like a princess for 9 years.  I feel like I didn’t do enough for her on her last day.  Sending you lots of love.  💖🙏🏼🐾
Sp
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Faceinyou

Pecan_mom wrote:
I’m so sorry for your loss.  Thank you for sending us all much needed positive energy.  I have lost my dog Pecan 8 weeks ago and I’m so sad and can’t get up.  So many what ifs and I should haves and guilt.  She got sick and passed away as soon as we rushed her to the vet.  She had no illness before.  I keep thinking what if I took her in sooner? Maybe she could have been saved.  I loved her with all my heart and treated her like a princess for 9 years.  I feel like I didn’t do enough for her on her last day.  Sending you lots of love.  ðŸ’–🙏🏼🐾



Pecan mom,
thank you , I had another dog in 2016 pass away in the very scenario you describe.i had 2 days to decide ...? It was two days to decide that it was already that my dog would pass. I had to....it wasn’t really a decision. 

Trust me you did ALL that can be done. Love love. Remember ....that’s why it hurts. 

Toby’s Dad
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Pecan_mom

Thank you for your response.  If you don’t mind me asking what was the cause of death.  I don’t know the cause of Pecan’s passing and not knowing is killing me. 


thank you, 🙏🏼💖

Sp
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Faceinyou
Pecan_mom wrote:

Thank you for your response.  If you don’t mind me asking what was the cause of death.  I don’t know the cause of Pecan’s passing and not knowing is killing me. 


thank you, 🙏🏼💖



of course that’s only natural to want to know. 

well ...he out of the blue starting walking staggered like. Unbalanced ....he was always very balanced. Took him to the vet. After hours and hours the vet said good news all his tests are good. We are going to run one more test ....I was ready to leave overjoyed ....they came back 20 mins or less and said he had SEVERE anemia and he was bleeding internally. The cause the couldn’t say without extensive testing and procedures ....they would give him a blood transfusion but he would die within a few days despite that they said. I took him home and I couldn’t believe it. I looked at him ...he didn’t seem well at all.
then I couldn’t make up my mind what to do??? Put him down or go ahead and buy a week maybe.....the vet called and told me my dog could basically explode inside and suffer worse at any moment ....that was enough for me to know that in the early morning I would have to do what was necessary. My best friend I had promised that I would not let him suffer if there was a choice. He had maybe cancer or something causing bleeding ...we never knew exactly either. In contrast I had a perfectly healthy 4 year old beautiful boy ...he got out the leash ...around the corner a land died by car. No reason or anything. This is right before corona virus ....now I have no friend and my health is terrible . I want a dog bad but my health would be not fair to him ...
i couldn’t be consistent with a new doggie right now and I have to be honest with myself. On the other hand. Pets are probably the most beautiful love one can have....love back and forth. They are extremely good for you....getting started over would be tough right now ...

Toby’s Dad
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Faceinyou
Sorry for the grammar errors there ...I couldn’t find the edit button...lol
Toby’s Dad
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Pecan_mom

Thank you so much for your detailed reply.  Thinking about Pecan’s last day and I feel so sorry for her.  She was sick and I didn’t know the extend of it.  My mom and dad (they had 3 sos that passed away) and alway took care of pecan and my brother’s dog were here, my two teenage daughters and my husband all her and no one thought her condition was life threatening since she was never sick before.  I called everywhere some told me it’s a good idea for her to be seen but we can monitor her for a few days, one said she might be dehydrated, one said don’t bring her and it wasn’t life threatening.  The emergency hospital near us is know for being a big money grabber so I thought since she ate some food and drank water and was walking around I will take her to her own vet in the morning as they know her better and Pecan will be more comfortable going to her own ver but when I noticed the change in her breathing and she fell on her side when she followed me I rushed her to vet with my daughters and she passed away. The only odd thing about her was she kept hiding that night that’s all.  I feel
guilty for thinking bout money (it was beginning of the pandemic and we had to close our business) not taking her sooner, I would give anything and spend every penny I have to save her.  Maybe she went the way she went because she knew I would never let her go.  I had a bad feeling about something for over a month but I never imagined Pecan would go this fast and with no warning.  I can’t believe I will never get to feed her, walk her, shower her and play with her, look at her beautiful eyes and see her beautiful face again.  

I had three  dreams about her and she was really happy and healthy in all of them.  In one dream when I asked her why she left so soon she said I had cancer.  She told me she’s happy and she loves me so much and knows How much I loved her.  Sorry about my long reply and all the spelling and grammar mistakes.  

I am sorry to hear that you are not doing well and I’m praying for you.  A dog breather in our neighborhood is giving us one her puppies is September.  I feel happy and guilty about bringing a new puppy to our house but my kids are really excited.  I’m not sure if I can deal with another loss again. 

take care my friend 🙏🏼

Sp
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Faceinyou

Hard to know what to do...good dreams mean good resolve for you and pecan. I had guilt about money all the time with both my dogs ...always an issue in taking care of them. There’s not much I coulda done is suppose ...but I have guilt ...toby needed more walking and attention and I feel like I coulda done more...he bolted across the street and outta his leash cause I didn’t give him the right amount of walks etc...could be . I had actually considered adopting him out to someone who could take better care of him ....he knew how much I loved him and could never let him go....the irony ...I was taking him to a dog park the night he died. I’ll never be the same and that’s how it is...I couldn’t imagine the way he went away...he had escaped a few times ...and I would chase him and find him ...either in the loving arms of a stranger or he’d just come back to me...it seemed no harm would come. As I got closer to the scene I knew...I’m traumatized forever and I would give anything to be with my beautiful baby again. I am so missing him. He was my baby. He probably knew to go to the next place now before Covid and that stress was gonna make things harder on me...that was and is Toby...somehow they know...they are all love and that love never goes away...love love love. Love to you all...!!!

Toby’s Dad
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