Janey1966
Oh God, this is horrible.  Yesterday we took Flojo to the vets as there had been no improvement in her state of mind, more than anything.  Initially (couple of weeks ago), Graham the vet thought she may have something wrong with her liver, but, due to her young age (7) liver disease was ruled out.  Basically, there was a mass around her abdomen.

Anyway, the food they gave us to try to bulk her up didn't work and she actually deteriorated further, especially mentally.  She would walk around in a confused state, not knowing whether she should eat something or not.  She had lost a lot of weight, moreso in the last couple of months.  Her toileting had also become erratic and it was getting to the stage where she wasn't fussed where she did her poo, although she always managed to make sure it wasn't 'hidden' behind furniture and the like.

When the vet saw us all in a distressed state yesterday he knew what to do and he was so kind and compassionate towards our fur-baby.  We shall never regret our decision to have her put down as she wasn't going to get better.  The vet said there was a distinct possibility that she may have had lymphona or even a brain tumour.  This made perfect sense as she was too young to die of liver failure.

My husband has gone to work and he's been in bits.  I'm in bits sat at home and the silence is DEAFENING.  I'm missing her miaow and her purring in my face when I used to hug her.  She let me hug her the night before we took her to the vet and it was like she KNEW and was reassuring me that everything would be OK.  It will be eventually..but not right now.  I actually feel sick. flojo 001.JPG
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Katel
I'm terribly sorry at the loss of your precious Flojo, she will leave a huge hole in your heart.
You saved her from suffering and one day that will give you comfort but for now you
will sorrow at her loss and miss her terribly.  People here understand the pain of
loss.   there is nothing quite as bad.   One day you will heal and find peace and I wish
that for you when the time is right. 

Blessings,  Kate 
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juju
Hi Janey, I am so sorry for your loss of beautiful sweet Flojo. She looks a beautiful girl. Only time will make this easier to bear, I'm not saying time will heal, but as the days, weeks months go on you will find a way of coping with this heartache. Someone said to me a couple of weeks ago, on this site, it is something you have to go through, this terrible sadness & heartbreak. They leave a scar on your heart that never heals, I like to think its their paw print. Thinking of you & your husband at this very sad time, take care, wish you peace. Hugs Juju xxx
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Janey1966
Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean such a lot.  In time I'm hoping I can help others, just like you have helped me.  It's not the first time I've had a cat put down (and for my hubby it's his first cat so it's especially hard for him) but the pain is awful.  Not seeing her today (even though she was very poorly towards the end) hurt me so bad as the kitchen floor looks massive without her bowls and litter tray on there!

As Graham the vet said right at the end..'She's at peace now' and it's true, she is.  Her little face looked so serene.

The photograph you see was taken in 2011 so she was 4 back then.  She had a spell of sleeping on my pillow so I had a cricked neck once I woke up.  She was always finding new places to sleep but, towards the end she limited herself to downstairs..but there again, she had done this even before she was poorly.  It was heartbreaking to see her not even being able to fall asleep for a fair amount of time like she used to.  Her eyes were literally popping out of her head at times with the confusion..but I shall remember her as she was..and we have loads of photographs we can use for a collage.  Hubby works in the printing industry so it will help him in his grief to have something positive to do.

Thanks again for your compassion.  This is a wonderful place to get our grief out into the open when we can't speak to anyone face to face.xxxx
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Janey1966
It will be 3 weeks tomorrow that we had Flo-Jo put down and it's no easier coping with her loss now than it was then.  I just welled up again earlier saying, 'I miss you and I want you back' to the heavens but she's not going to come back is she?  Not ever.  I have to come to terms with that but it's hard as she was only 7..too young to die.

Hubby will be bringing home a collage of her photographs on canvas, as he works in the printing industry.  I'm secretly dreading it as it will - no doubt - end up on the wall, overlooking where I'm sitting now.

How will I feel about this?  Will the canvas make me feel better or worse?  Will I be thinking about missing the 'live' version of Flo-Jo rather than concentrating on the lovely photographs we have of her, all in one place, and reminiscing in a positive way instead?

I have noticed there are many posts dedicated to dogs on here, not so many on cats.  I only hope someone will read this and identify with how I'm feeling right now.  I don't know where else to turn.
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Charliesmommy
I'm so sorry that you had to say goodbye to your precious Flo and that you lost her so young.  Thursday will be 5 weeks since I kissed my boy, Charlie and I miss him so much and like you, I just want him back even though I know that can't happen.

Looking at pictures can be hard but I've found it easier as time goes by and some days, I can't seem to look at them enough but still have other days that I would rather not.  My husband and kids were not as attached as I was so any pictures will be beside my bed, in a wallet, or a charm for a necklace or something.  I haven't decided yet.  If you are not ready for the collage to be on display, maybe you can talk to your husband and hold off on putting it on the wall for now.  It sounds like it will be a lovely tribute to your baby and when you are ready, you will love looking at it.

I recently read a book by Liz Eastwood called "Soul Comfort for Cat Lovers" and it has helped some.  Coming to this forum also helps as there are many who understand when others in our lives don't.

I love the picture of Flo sleeping under the covers.  She looks so sweet and comfy.

hugs,
Tammy
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Janey1966
Thank you so much for your lovely reply, it has helped me a lot as you understand what I'm going through.  Is that your cat in the photograph?  Very cute. [HUGS TO YOU TOO]
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