Meg_manning
Hi all,
I am new to this website as I was looking online for tips about grieving the loss of a pet. I lost my first pet – my cat, Chewy, of 14 years this week. We did not realize he was outside overnight as he is always in the house overnight. Even if he goes out during the day it is just on the deck or in the yard so we know he is safe. It is our fault because we did not make sure that he was inside and an animal from the woods got him overnight. I feel even worse because we could have prevented it. Any tips for getting through this as it is my first time losing a pet? Chewy was the first animal I have ever owned. Thank you very much and my sympathies to all who are going through a loss of their pet.
Meg
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Marie123
Chewy is just adorable! What a sad situation. It's hard no matter what. I know how you feel thinking you're the one to blame. But sometimes you just have an oversight. I still feel guilty about the day my Mom died. I didn't tell her I loved her or kiss her before going to work that day.
How about you write Chewy a love letter like I did for my girl Raven when I had to let her go? Tell him you love him, and anything you want to say to him, but didn't have the chance. Then read it out loud, maybe with family or friends if you like, and then place it in one of his favorite places to sit or sleep. It's not much but it helps. They hear us, I know that they do.
Again, I'm so sorry to hear about your sweet little guy. I hope that you can find some peace and comfort here 🐾
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Meg_manning
Thank you so much, Marie. It helps to hear from others who understand and who have gone through it. I like your idea. Thank you again.
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Ollies_Grieving_Mama
I also recently had my first experience losing my own pet, who had only been with me for 2 years. He died over about 24 hours at the emergency clinic. I thought really hard about where he would like to spend all of his time if he had a choice, and the answer was outside lounging in the grass on a sunny day. So, I got a big planter, filled it with grass, and put it in my front window. The box with his ashes is now sitting on a nice bed of grass with sunlight coming in during the day. It may sound a little weird, but it gives me some comfort to know that if I didn't have the power to save him, maybe he knows somehow that he's staying in his happy place. If your kitty had something that he really loved like that, it might be something of a comfort for you to give him that eternal "comfort blanket", if you will. Or not. Just a suggestion.
Ollie's Grieving Mama
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Meg_manning
Thanks for sharing your story, Ollie's mama. Your kind words are helpful and I will think of something that my family can do to remember Chewy.
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LisaAndy
We are only human and each day have hundreds of things we are supposed to do.  I think you didn't know he was outside! Things like this happen, it is an accident and you can't beat yourself up over it. You loved your cat and would have done everything you could have to keep him safe. But sometimes we get busy and have a lot on our minds and some accident happens and it is NOT your fault. The universe can be rough sometimes and it does seem so very unfair.
I am really sorry for your loss, it is very sad.

Lisa
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Meg_manning
Thank you, Lisa. Your words help to lessen my grief. Thank you for taking the time to reply and I'm sorry if you are going through the loss of a pet as well.
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exburt
Condolences to you for your loss.  I know how you feel. I've had to say farewell to a number of my buddies. But now I know where Chewy.com got their name!

No tips. The passage of time. 
Actually, I do have one tip. Cry as often as you need for as long as you want. It helps, I think. I know it helped me, a lot. Tears heal.  
It will get better.  
You'll think on the fun of the life you shared with Chewy and smile. Rather than the pain of his loss. 
He looks like a kick-ass cat. I know he had to be a lot of fun. 

Best Wishes, 
Burt
B Weinstein
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Marie123
That's right. There's are no rules or time limits to grief. Go at your own pace. But just remember, we're all human and we have oversights and forget things. Like I mentioned earlier, just talk to Chewy, write down all the things you want him to know. He's listening, I know he is 🐱
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