Hey there

I'm Ana

I had 4 cats. Mommy cat, and 3 daughters. All the daughters were born in my house. I saw it happen. And saw them grow.

Unfortunately, one of them, Maggie, had to be put to sleep today. It all happened so fast. We noticed she was getting very thin, then, separating her from her sisters, we saw she was barely eating. She was taken to the vet on the beginning of the week and unfortunately, never came out. 

There was something really wrong with one of her kidneys. It was close shutting down. The vets tried everything, but unfortunately, today, 3 days later, they advised us it would be better to end her suffering and put her to sleep. 

They said there was nothing they could do, kidneys were going, and she would only be suffering slowly until the end. 


I was not there for her. Because I recently moved from my home country to another, I was not there. I feel so guilty. I wish I could have been there for her. 

Think she will forgive me? Think she is ok now? 

How can you deal with this never-ending pool of despair? I feel like I'm drowning every second. 
Please, any advice? 


Thank you for reading this

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Dear Ana,

I am so so sorry to read of your recent loss. It was very admirable of you to have an entire family unit together. With Mom-Cat and her 3 daughters.

Yes, I do believe that your Maggie understood and does not hold anything against you. Why? Because I have given this a lot of thought with my own beloved cat "Marmalade." I'd like to share this with you as it has provided some comfort to numerous pet parents who could not be present for some reason when they lost a loved one.

I would often have to go out for a food and supply run (I'm self-employed so would be around much of the other time) and I would return with food & supplies. Marmalade clearly knew that I had returned with food, as even though it was sealed in cans, and he could not smell it, he knew the bags that contained the cans and would watch me intently unload them and stack his food up.

So I realized that to my cat, I must have gone out "hunting" each time for us, and as he was predominantly an indoor cat during his last years (I would take him out for walks which he was very good about), he must have assumed it was not permissible for him to go with me when I went out hunting. Perhaps as it was dangerous. Or he must have thought I was out on a "walk-about" as the Aussie's have dubbed it, because I would return with other things we needed and he could watch me from our rear gate entrance to the warehouse we resided in. 

So when it comes to your Maggie? She probably just assumed (as you were the Alpha Pack Leader of the household) that you were out "hunting", or on "walk-about", doing what we mysterious humans do. But hold it against you? Your not being able to be there? No way. Our pet's give us unconditional love by not judging us. If an image of you came into Maggie's mind during her final days and moments? It was an image accompanied by feelings of love, fondness, affection, adoration and respect. She may have wished that you were there during her final days and moments, but she understood, that you were doing other things and eventually would return. And that must have provided her with comfort much of the time that you had to be away prior to her passing.

I hope you heal-up and that eventually, someday soon, you will only be able to recall the happy times that you had with Maggie and her sisters and Mother.

Kind regards & my sincerest condolences,
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Thank you so so much for that James. 



I'm just taking this a bit too hard. I fell in love with animals when I adopted mommy cat, Luna, 14 years ago. I was a pre teen child. Stopped eating animals and everything. Those cats became my children. This is just heart wrenching to me. Losing one of them. At the moment it really feels like I could just die too :(

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I'm so sorry NoriFaria.
This is very soon. You need to cry your heart out. Really let it out with every part of you. When I do this, and talk on here, I moments in between when I am temporarily normal. To just not have my heart not breaking for a little while is a relief. It doesn't stay that way, but it helps.
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