I agree with Judylinn that wherever your grieving path takes you and at what ever pace, that is the right one for you. I personally started to feel some relief at about 6 months and gradually started to feel better with the normal ups and downs. Then when I thought I was back to normal, the one year marker got close and I seemed to fall backwards.
My point is that grieving takes a jagged path, up, down, sideways. We have to get through the bad and sad days before we can get to that "new normal" everyone talks about. With time comes acceptance, but the love doesn't go away. My Kudo died 7 years ago, Nico 3 and if anything I feel that I have come to love them more in this spiritual, non physicial, relationship.
Chancey is such a beautiful golden boy. I'm so happy that your four year old remembers him. Christmas will not be the same without his physical presence but he is there with you in spirit.
Thinking of you and your family.
Karen,Kudo and Nico's mom
Earth mom to Marco and Bella