Krista
It has been a while since I have visited the forum and is has been 8 months since Clancey passed away. There are still good days and bad but these last few weeks have been the worst. Almost as bad as those first few weeks. Getting the Christmas tree was hard. I have this amazing picture from last year of my husband and Clancey walking in perfect step together. I was walking behind them with the kids and it was just so perfect. This year it just wasn't the same without him running along with us. It was really hard decorating the house for Christmas. I remember putting Clancey's stocking away last year and thinking that he probably wouldn't be with us this Christmas. Then to pull it out with the others this year was almost unbearable. His ornaments are hanging on the tree. My four year old son said, "Let's put Clancey's bone up high in a special place so everyone can see." I still just miss him SO much. I would give anything to have him back, to put his head on my lap, to nudge my hand for a pet, to hug... I feel so sad and I cannot seem to pull myself out of it. I still have days when I expect him to greet my as I walk in the door. I felt as though I was making progress but now seem to be slipping backwards. Has this happened to anyone?? I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about this because it has been 8 months and I don't know...
Sorry to ramble. Thanks for listening.
Krista

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Meghanm
Hi Krista. Clancey sounds like such a good dog. You can always post on this board about your feelings, that's something I'm learning quickly!! Don't feel like you are "regressing" because you are sad. Random things can be a trigger and the holidays are an extremely obvious trigger (not so random!) It is OK to be sad! I keep telling myself that. The holidays can be a very lonely and sad time for someone grieving and experiencing loss. I am thinking of you.
Meghan

"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever." ~ The Crow

"We don't "get over" our losses and just move on, we learn to live differently."
~ http://www.angelbluemist.com/frames/guilt.html
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judylinn
Krista, what you are feeling is absolutely normal. This is my first christmas without Maddie. Holidays are a hard time when we have lost our loves. I put her stocking up, and hung her christmas collar over it, I want to honor her that way.
Clancey looks like an absolute love....very sweet..it's okay to feel what ever you feel...I know it's hard. as you write about him, it brings tears to my eyes, as I wish for the same things.
Let the pain out, holding it in makes it worse. each tear, is a tear of the deep love you had and have for Clancey..He may not be with you in body, but he is there in spirit. Hugs to you.  Judy
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nicokudo
Krista,

I agree with Judylinn that wherever your grieving path takes you and at what ever pace, that is the right one for you.  I personally started to feel some relief at about 6 months and gradually started to feel better with the normal ups and downs.  Then when I thought I was back to normal, the one year marker got close and I seemed to fall backwards.  

My point is that grieving takes a jagged path, up, down, sideways.  We have to get through the bad and sad days before we can get to that "new normal" everyone talks about.  With time comes acceptance, but the love doesn't go away.  My Kudo died 7 years ago, Nico 3 and if anything I feel that I have come to love them more in this spiritual, non physicial, relationship.

Chancey is such a beautiful golden boy.  I'm so happy that your four year old remembers him.  Christmas will not be the same without his physical presence but he is there with you in spirit.  

Thinking of you and your family.

Karen 
Karen,Kudo and Nico's mom
Earth mom to Marco and Bella
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finchgangsmom

Ive learned over the years that grief is a very strange very strong emotion. As others have said things even small things can trigger it. The ups and downs are normal. Im sorry you are having such a difficult time. {HUGS}

Finch Gangs Mom (Loren)
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CoopersMommy
Krista, I feel the same. We lost Cooper just over 7 months ago. It was very unexpected. Decorating was awful. I just sat crying. And I've noticed the past week or so has been extra hard. I felt like I'd been doing pretty well the past month or two, but the last week has been a bad one. I think it's just a hard time of year when you've lost someone you love. I hate thinking about starting a new year without him.
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finchgangsmom

Holidays are a bit more difficult and make things harder.I think its harder when its the first of all of them as well. {hugs}

Finch Gangs Mom (Loren)
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