Dmoore

I’ve spent the whole weekend reading stories here. The stories provide me some comfort in knowing I’m not alone. For some reason, I especially need the stories that describe similar experiences that my beautiful Jasmine and I had on her last day. I’ve found information about tumors, cancer, and strokes that I didn’t know. That knowledge is helping me process what happened separate from my emotions that are out of control. I still feel empty and alone. As I laid in bed this morning, I searched for a reason to get up and could think of nothing, but I got up. Then I set in the kitchen listening to the clock ticking instead of the beautiful sounds of Jasmine’s paws clicking around on the hardwood floor and her food bowl being pushed around the room to get every last bite of food. How I miss those sounds, but the ticking of the clock is so loud now. 

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garner2016
I know what you mean.  Please be good to yourself.  Like all great dogs, Jasmine is watching and wants you to be happy.
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Runningman66
Dmoore wrote:

I’ve spent the whole weekend reading stories here. The stories provide me some comfort in knowing I’m not alone. For some reason, I especially need the stories that describe similar experiences that my beautiful Jasmine and I had on her last day. I’ve found information about tumors, cancer, and strokes that I didn’t know. That knowledge is helping me process what happened separate from my emotions that are out of control. I still feel empty and alone. As I laid in bed this morning, I searched for a reason to get up and could think of nothing, but I got up. Then I set in the kitchen listening to the clock ticking instead of the beautiful sounds of Jasmine’s paws clicking around on the hardwood floor and her food bowl being pushed around the room to get every last bite of food. How I miss those sounds, but the ticking of the clock is so loud now. 

I still cannot get used to not taking my boy for his long early morning walk before I go to work.The house now has a deathly haunting silence especially at nights hence why I leave my radio on.To come home and not see him at the door jumping up and down for joy waiting for me to take him for his evening walk is something I’ll never get used to.Only today while driving the suicidal thoughts were coming back but I’m trying so hard to suppress them.Another lonely night beckons then another day of suffering starts all over again.I don’t know how much more I can take.Prayers to you all.
Love Runningman xx
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Dmoore
garner2016 wrote:
I know what you mean.  Please be good to yourself.  Like all great dogs, Jasmine is watching and wants you to be happy.



I love the thought of Jasmine watching over me and wanting me to be happy! I know that’s true, because that’s what I would want for her. She was so loving. ❤️ Thank you for saying that. 
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Dmoore

[QUOTE username=Runningman66 userid=7219641 postid=1311890041]I still cannot get used to not taking my boy for his long early morning walk before I go to work.The house now has a deathly haunting silence especially at nights hence why I leave my radio on.To come home and not see him at the door jumping up and down for joy waiting for me to take him for his evening walk is something I’ll never get used to.Only today while driving the suicidal thoughts were coming back but I’m trying so hard to suppress them.Another lonely night beckons then another day of suffering starts all over again.I don’t know how much more I can take.Prayers to you all.
Love Runningman xx[

I’m so sorry for your loss. It comforts me knowing there are other people feeling the same things I’m feeling. It’s so hard. Someone told me today I just need to get over it and move on. Some people can say all the wrong things. Pets don’t hurt us like that. Maybe that’s one of the reasons we love them so much. I’m worried about you and the suicidal thoughts. I know the emptiness that losing my Jasmine has brought me and I’m not going to deny I’ve thought I don’t want to be here without her. Then I think of the people who love and need me. I hope you have someone to hug you and tell you how important you are, because you are. I’m sure you were a loyal loving friend to your boy. You’re probably that to everyone that you love. And you’re such a good writer. I really connected with your message. My nights and days are also very hard. They are filled with me just going through the motions. Just trying to breathe. That’s all I can do right now ...just trying to breathe.

Praying for you.

 

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GEMINIXX69
This really hits home with me.  I can hardly stand to be at home now because everything I do (used to do) Minnie would be right there. My senior dog, Toby (almost 16) is still with me and I hear his little clicking all over the house, but his sound is distinctly different from Minnie's. Hers were these fast little excited taps that would lead the way because she always knew exactly what room I was going to next.  And poor Toby, we love him so much,  but his sounds are of those following behind slowly, trying to keep up, because arthritis is taking its nasty toll on him. Poor little guy.  But we definitely miss our little miss priss Minnie bossing us all around, and confident that we'll do what she wants.  So I hope all of you that are hurting know that I feel you. Prayers for all of you as we mourn our soulmates. 
Linda L.
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Runningman66
Dmoore and Geminixx69 thank you for your kind words.I’m trying so so hard to move on but I can’t stop thinking how he suffered in his last months and the last image of him at the vets as I left is imprinted on my brain which isn’t helping as if anything that’s making me feel worse.It’s not even 10 in the morning here in the UK and I’ve cried half a dozen times.I’m also driving around in a daze.I’d describe it as mental torture with no end in sight.
Love Runningman xx
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