Dear Tobysmum, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Everything happened so fast for you at the end, you had no time to prepare for what was to come. I have no doubt that Toby was ready to make that journey. I am so sorry to hear that you're second-guessing your decision. What you're feeling is absolutely normal, and I think more people have felt the way you do than have been able to escape it. First, I want you to know that our animals help to guide us in making those decisions. They know when the time is right. Everything happened so seemingly fast for you, and you had little time to prepare for what you heard from the vet. The progression of Toby's condition wasn't so fast for him though. It took a long time (in doggy time) for him to get to that place, so he was ready. They are so good at concealing their pain until they can't conceal it any longer. It's part of what they do in the wild, and that instinct can't be taken out of them. I absolutely know that you did make the right decision and at the right time. It's natural to regret it, to hate ourselves for it, etc., because of the pain we are in without them next to us. We are the ones now in pain, they are not. You also mention that Toby was only 8 years old. But what kind of breed was Toby? Some breeds, at 8 years, are the equivalent of a human who is over 80. The time goes all too fast for us, but for them, it's an entire lifetime. When I first came here a long time ago, someone who was posting at the time said, "I would rather assist her a week too soon than a moment too late." In other words, he would rather prevent his girl from suffering at all than allow her to suffer for even an instant. Very wise words. Please come back and tell us more about Toby. It helps to write about our Bridge Kids, and to tell the stories of how we met, their silly/amazing/entertaining youth, and their favorite things to to. It helps us remember the best of times as we're going through the worst of them. You and Angel Toby are in my thoughts and prayers.
My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)
"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley
BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery