Hulasmommy
I lost my sweet Hula on Feb.12 at 1am..  I'm finding it so hard to cope without her...I hear her everywhere..I expect to find her in her favorite places in the house. I hurt so bad at times, I just want to curl up in  a ball
and die....I just can't stop crying and thinking what else could I have done. I have such hate for the doctors and hospital that could not save her.... I hate myself for not being able to save her... Her sweet lil face is all I see when I close my eyes...I have terrible dreams and can not eat...I feel guilty that she can not do either.... I get up at night to check on her.... She loved the Christmas tree and lights and I can't seem to put my tree away. I am a complete mess and it does not seem to be getting any better.

I love her, I need her, I want her back so badly......I think I might be losing my mind. I can't seem to move on...maybe it's because I can't let her go , oh Lord I don't want to let her go.. I want her back in my life!!!
Please help... I need advice on how to go on....

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Gabby
Dear Hulasmommy,

If only someone had an answer to all your questions and take away all the pain I know that you are feeling,there would be a very rich person somewhere and I think I would have already found them and could reccomend them to you,but I cant,I'm sorry.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious baby Hula.Our babies are so very individual,except the love they give us,it never wavers,never wains,its constant and true and thats what makes it doubly hard for us to let them go from us here on Earth.But please understand that your Hula may not be in sight,but is still very close to you.No-one can sever such a true love.Your Hula has been renewed to full health and vigour and would want you to take care of yourselve,and not beat yourselve up with things you cannot change.Hula knows you love her.In time you will remember the happier times,maybe you will never completely erase bad days but the good will begin to creep back again.Try to talk about your Hula,and talk to her as well.
Take one day at a time and try not to let the sad overcloud all the good times.I wish you healing days
Love and Light
and
Fairy Kisses for your precious Baby xxxxxx
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Hulasmommy

Thank you Gabby!!! I will try ...thank you for the advice...

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swt1899
((hugs))  I just lost my Annie yesterday.  She had cancer and had to be put down.  I miss her dearly.
Driving home from my parents' house where the mobile vet put her down, I passed my house and jumped on the highway.  I let the windows down and drove west.  It was a beautiful cloudless day and sun was shining so bright.  Just beautiful.  I put my hand out and felt the wind... funny though... it felt just like I was petting her.  Soft and smooth.  I then talked to her.  I told her I loved her and that I hoped that we had given her a good life... better than what she had before she came to us.  I told her to run.  To run like she had never run before.  Then I heard myself saying "It's ok.  You can go.  We'll be ok.  We'll see each other again."  And then I said goodbye.  I then made a U turn and came home.  I was able to let her go.  I never thought I would be able to do that... so soon after her passing.  Yes, I cry.  I've cried today a few times.  I'm sure I'll cry again tomorrow.  But each day I know that she is well.  She is happy and wouldn't want for me to hurt for her or dwell on her pain before she passed or dwell on losing her. 
What I did last night was jump on the chat line here.  I needed someone to talk to and let out my tears, frustration, anger and sadness.  I felt so much better.  I really did.  Jump on chat.  You might see me there.  SWT1899.  My story about Annie is on here.  It's called "Our Annie." 
She's probably playing with Hula right now.  Running around and having a great time.  We'll see them again.  Don't worry. 
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Hulasmommy
I guess what makes it so hard here, is that we are snowed in..my husband has worked from home the last couple of days and has been here to hold me and comfort me....today was quite and all so lonely..

 I'm trying to get pass my anger as well... thanks for your kind words...I know your loss is new as well and I appreciate your kindness of sharing with me.
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Zoolander
Hulasmommy, I want you to know that what you are feeling is completely normal, and is part of the grieving process.  I share those same feelings.  We just lost our beloved yellow labrador Zoe on Tuesday evening.  We went in to the vet for a blood test at 7pm, and before we got to that point the vet came in, looked at Zoe, and ordered an x-ray.  At 8:33 pm central time, she took her last breath laying in my arms.  Yesterday was a really bad day for me.  I had to collect all of her belongings, most of which I had to dispose of because it's too painful to see them......her toys, blanket, food bowls, etc.  I spent part of the day vacuuming our house, she was a shedder, and we have little reminders of Zoe all over our house.  But the most difficult of all, is sitting here looking through the patio door glass that is full of her nose and paw prints, looking out into her yard, filled with paw prints in the snow (we live in Minnesota) and knowing we're going to need to clean up after her potty in the Spring when the snow melts.  It's all a constant reminder of her.  The UPS truck drove by yesterday, at the same time it does everyday, and Zoe didn't bark.  My 2 year old son dropped some of his breakfast on the floor under his high chair yesterday.........I had to clean it up because Zoe wasn't here to do that.  Just all of these little things that we have grown so accustomed to over the last 8 years of Zoe's life.  These are things that molded our lives and the way we live our lives day to day.  They are all changing now, changing forever.  We may never realize how strong our love for her was.......is..........but we will always keep her alive in our hearts and minds.  So I feel your pain, I know what you are going through.  It's okay to cry, Lord knows I haven't stopped crying in 2 days now.  Everyone here understands your pain.........our pain.
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Hulasmommy
Zoolander, thank you so much for answering my plea for help, for understanding, for kind words, words that let me know that  there is others out there that understand how much we love these lil babies.


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