I am glad that you were able to pick up Chance's ashes. That must have felt surreal, like a bad dream, to go to the vet's where you had always gone with Chance. But you are fortunate to have her ashes. I was so despondent that when my vet asked me about cremation, I just said 'no'. Luckily she sent a vet tech to take a paw print of Lucy (before) so that they were able to make & mail me a special memorial ornament with Lucy's print, name, & color purple. While it's not Lucy's ashes, I felt like she was 'home', closer to me when the ornament arrived. It's hanging since the day it came. So I hope that for you, having Chance's ashes gives you that same sense that she is 'home', closer to you. Though I know you wish, with every single fibre of your being, that she could be right there next to you, sleeping near you on the couch. Or that when you turn the key, you can hear here running to greet you. Man oh man all they want is to be happy & to make us happy too. Maybe that's another layer of how very hard it is to 'be' in the world without our special babies. True unconditional love.
How did I get through it? Day to day. I went back a week later & spent an hour with Lucy's wonderful vet. We cried again. But she also helped me because I was having trouble with my decision/state of mind on that day. She reaffirmed that I chose for Lucy, rationally & with love. She was in torment & pain. So that was one 'action' that helped. I also ordered (on line) a Sacred Spirit Journey from Marianne Soucy. She has a few books on Amazon. Watched my em until it arrived. Helped me. I still read it every now & then.
Talk to Chance...out loud at home, in the car, whenever you can. Talk to her as you would have when she was right there with you. Or talk to her & let her know how much you miss her & always will. When I talked to Lucy @ night, trying to sleep (impossible), I always ended up in the sadness-- replay of the last weeks & the last day's decision. It is part of the grieving. As trite as it may sound, it is a process. And no lies-- it wrecked me for many months. But I also talked to people-- family, friends, even customers & clients @ work. Told them about my girl. It may surprise you how many people understand. Sometimes even 'strangers' want to help. There are many wonderful people out there, and here on the forum too :-) Tell them about Chance. While it may be upsetting, it may also feel soothing to be able to talk about Chance...to share her.
The other thing that helped me was to be open to 'signs'. I kept asking Lucy for a sign. Sounds cracked. Who cares? It took awhile but when the first one happened, it was a song that meant a lot to me & Lucy. I was driving home from work & turned on satellite radio. I asked Lucy to play the song again. It had played on my way home from the vet's the day she died. It's an old song that doesn't often play ('In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning'). Love B.B.King & Frank Sinatra. This was one of B.B.'s faves. Anyway, as I was driving & it played, I had to pull into a parking lot to lose it completely. But I thanked my girl because it felt like a little hug from her. I think that all of the signs-- feathers, cardinal, dragonflies, butterflies, wind chimes, cloud formations, songs, finding lost dog bones or toys, etc., all helped me to feel her love. So I would encourage you to ask Chance to give you a sign. And then be open to it.
Please also try to be kind to yourself. Chance loves you & always will. There will be tough days, weeks, months ahead. But there will also be times when you catch your breath. Instead of feeling tightly wrapped inside, you have a calm moment. It's the healing. Try to imagine Chance running & playing...with all of her new Rainbow Bridge friends. She's healthy again. Give it time. Your love took time to grow stronger. You still carry that love inside. But it will take time to feel it again-- without unbearable pain & sadness.
Sorry for rambling on. Keep coming here. We are all here for you.