Saand81
I hope I can get through this without breaking down, again, but, we lost our beloved family member, Oreo, on Friday, July 15,@4:17pm.He died peacefully, with his pet parents on both sides of him. While we know that putting him to sleep was the best thing we could do for him, it hasn't healed the ache in our hearts. I apologize for the lengthiness of this message, but after finding this forum on my phone, I feel like it might be my first step to healing and accepting the fact that we had absolutely no control over this "hideous ", and devastating disease. Oreo was only 8 yrs. old. Before he showed any signs of being ill, he was the most happiest, funny, lovable, adventurous, cat, that I ever had. He loved hearing his own voice, and would go down in the basement and"chat" away. We have another cat, Cinni-bear, a ginger, who is 11 (and healthy ), and Oreo would instigate him into playing, even if it meant that Cinni was going to "play-bite" him first. They ate together, slept together (separate pet beds), and both looooved going in our enclosed screened -in, porch. That was the closest they got to being outside. Now that you have an idea of our family, I will explain the week of July 11th. Over the weekend, we noticed Oreo's fur was a little pale, and he seemed to be sleeping abit more than usual. He was still eating and drinking. ..going to the bathroom. We decided if his coat still looked pale on Monday, we would call the vet. We have a wonderful,absolutely caring,wonderful, veterinarian. They got us in that afternoon; said to leave Oreo with them so they could run some tests/blood work & for us to come back @4:00. We came back, and were given the bad news. However, he did not know if it was the virus,which requires a different blood test. Already, we were told that Oreo's red blood cell count was extremely low,and his white cell count was very high. He tested it twice (at no charge ),to be sure. We told him Oreo is family &we'll do whatever we can. He suggested one more blood test, before we talked about treatment. We would get the results the next day. On top of all that, they also found a dozen or more stones in his bladder. We went back the next day and were told it was the feline leukemia virus. I wanted a 2nd opinion, and he understood. I gave permission to have Oreo's records sent to another vet (a friend of my daughter ).Unfortunately, ,the next day, she gave us the same diagnosis. She also gave me her experience because she lost a family member, a year ago, to the same ugly disease. It was because of her experience, gentle support, and the support of our veterinarian, that we decided to do (with great sorrow ), one of the best things we could do, for our family member. We called and set the date, and the vet told us to spoil him, snuggle with him, talk to him,and let him know how much he meant to us, that he'll always be with us, and to talk to Cinnamon. He needs to know about Oreo, but also that we love Cinni, too, and we're here for him, and we still love him just as much as Oreo. We spoiled both of them! Tunafish in water ;Oreo likes the tuna water, Cinni-bear likes the tunafish. They BOTH loooove catnip. Honestly, we think that for the next 3 days, the tuna water and the catnip, kept Oreo, here,on this earth, so our daughters could say,"see you later ",and so John and I could get in the mindset of "doing the only thing that's right ". This virus is devastating !!! Oreo deteriorated so quickly from Monday, to Friday, when he laid his head down in his bed,for the last time. It has been 10 days. ....my heart aches. Cinni-bear is grieving, and following us around like a puppy. At times,his ears twitch up,and hell look in a certain direction, and I believe that's Oreo's spirit, visiting us, and Cinni. We're waiting for Oreo's ashes, and he'll be placed next to Tyger's, our part Maine Coon, who went to sleep 4yrs ago,after a year-and-a-half of us giving him injections, and IV fluids, to treat his stage 4 Kidney disease. This is the first time I've ever been on any site/blog, like this. I don't even do Facebook, but I am reaching out to people who understand, right? I am so sorry this is so long, but this is the only way I could have explained my experience.
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chicagocats
Saand81 - I'm so sorry for your loss of Oreo. Feline Leukemia is very tough to battle. I just lost my beloved Carma cat last Wednesday. She deteriorated so quickly. We had just started day two of her cancer treatment when things spiraled downward so fast I couldn't wrap my brain around what was happening or how to fix it.

Its important that you got a second opinion and ruled out any other possible causes. You made sure Oreo got the best treatments and health care currently available. It never stops the pain though. The loss is so overwhelming. The empty space left behind can seem unbearable at times. Everyone here says it will get better eventually. I hope they are right. I know we will always miss them no matter how many years pass. They became part of us and we were part of them.

I'm hopeful you and Cinni-bear can comfort each other through the pain and loss. 
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frostymommy
So sorry for your Oreo.....Prayers going out to you...I lost my 2 yr old FraFra just 8 days before Oreo joined himin heaven. I will try joining tonight's candlelight memorial. Let's support each other there. Hugs!
Soph
Frosty Joy 5/14 - 7/16
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Weepatchesoflove
Hey Oreos mum
I wanted to add my condolences as well. I not much up on your wee ones disease, but it sounds like you went above and beyond with your care and help for Oreo.
Your days between deciding and the actual date must have been so bittersweet for you, i can't imagine the strength that that would have taken. I hope that Cini is doing ok too. It's so hard as we can't be sure that they know or understand what's going on, but I do agree with you about Cini sensing Oreo when he visits. I guess animals are more open and not predisposed to believe/disbelieve anything and just so much more accepting.
I am sorry you had to find this site, but it is amazing and it is an absolute godsend (in my case anyway) from hearing others stories and how others have managed to get through their own grief journey and are managing their "new" old life. Some people have found writing journals, others have made memorials, and I am sure there are other ideas throughout here and maybe one will help you, but it is great to find a place where we are all, or have been where you are and no one will ever think that you are grieving too much or too long or are mad for still being sad after a set date or that our guys were just cats, dogs, horses, birds or whatever animal you had.
Once again, I am sorry for your loss and I hope you will find some solace here.
Take care and best wishes
Michelle &Patches
Patches mum
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Saand81
Thank you for your kindness and understanding. This is all so new to me. I wish I had found this site when my Tyger was diagnosed with stage 4 Kidney disease. The vet gave him 6 months, but we told him Tyger was a fighter, and we were able to keep him for another year and a half. As pet parents, we're willing to go above and beyond for them, but sometimes it's just not possible. I will keep checking back in. May your pain be eased with time and talking about it.
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Saand81
Thank you, Michelle, for yor kind words. Feline leukemia virus has no cure, no meds to slow it down, and when your cat is diagnosed with it, they don't have weeks, as some might think. ..they have days. Their bodies deteriorate so quickly. They sleep more ,than normally, their bodies are very warm . Oreo stayed in our basement or upstairs in front of one of the vents where the cool air came out.They lose weight (he lost 6lbs. In 4 days) ,and in watching the deterioration, I knew that I couldn't be selfish just because I wanted him to stay longer. The hardest thing was preparing ourselves once we made the decision. Trust me, with 4 days, we were NEVER prepared. Finding this forum has made me feel like I'm not alone with my feelings, and I don't have to set a date to wake up and "get over it". Even pet parents who haven't experienced pet family loss, can still understand the grief. Your thoughts and feelings and kindness helped make me smile. I plan on making this forum part of my daily routine, and who knows? Maybe, with time, I will be able to help someone else smile
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elliemeewiz
Hi Saand, so sorry for your loss of Oreo. Hugs to you and Cinni. <3 FELV is the most deadly virus, it can stay dormant in the dna, they can test negative and then stresses can cause it to become active. Some cats can live quite a while with it when it's not at the end phase now apparently. 
My beloved sweet Tess August 1999 - February 21 2001
My beloved loyal Byron March 1998 - April 28 2008
My sweet beloved girlie Angelina April 2001- September 2012
Me & my sweet beloved Wizberry forever 1998- April 21, 2016
My sweet beloved Snow Goddess Sybil girlie April 2001- May 11,2018
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Weepatchesoflove
Hiya Oreo's mom
Just wondering how you are getting on today? I hope you are/have had some moments of peace.
You made me happy by saying nice stuff, so you've managed to make me feel better too. Your description of the cut off date for grief is very apt! I know most people I know are looking askew at me as they realise I still miss Patches. I had someone say after four or five days that they were surprised I was still sad. Just get another dog I was told. I now don't say anything and deep down I know they are in a worse position as they have obviously never had a forever pet, so don't know the love and joy these guys can bring.
The forum is an absolute godsend and the people on it are amazing, it's so nice to know that someone will give you some nice words when you need them and as we are or have been in the same placement our grief journeys you know it is heartfelt and honest,
I never realised just how wicked your Oreo's disease was and although I know those last days would have been hard for you, Oreo's health deteriorating so quickly and viisibly must have broken your heart for the first time, only for it to go again at the set date.
Take care and best wishes
Michelle &Patches
Patches mum
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Persia23yrs
i'm so sorry about your loss, just lost one of my fav. girls to this dreaded disease. Only about 4 days and I had to put her down.
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Apollo_the_great
My cat GrayFace also has FLV. He was a wild cat who lived out back of our store and after about 2 years of feeding him, he decided too come into the store. After about a month, he would just lay there, he did this for about a week. He was like a wet dish rag when you picked him up. We took him to the vet, FLV. That's been about 6 months ago. He was given antibiotics for 10 days. He was still weak, and 2 or 3 weeks later he started looking sick again, so we had him put on antibiotics for aother 10 days, and since then, he's been at full strength. I'm sorry that you put your baby down. Have you had your other cat checked for it?
William
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Apollo_the_great
On 3-18-2018, I had to put GrayFace to sleep. He had an infection in his cheek, and it was draining out of his eye. The vet said that was very unusual and it was the first time she had seen it. At the end I think that he was having strokes because he couldn't use his back legs. But he let me know he was ready, I wasn't ready, but it wasn't about me. He lasted 18 months with FLV, and he had a good life during that time. I will always miss him, and I cry just about every day since.  He was so young. I just hope that people don't put their cat to sleep just because they have FLV. Let them live.
William
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Saand81
FYI...FLK is the feline leukemia virus. At the time I posted my sorrow over losing Oreo to the disease, I might have used the wrong abbreviation. I’m sure, though, that it can be easy to mis-interpret, when you are mourning the loss of your fur baby.
I know many people who own cats that are FLV+, and have even adopted them.
My deepest sympathies to you. I apologize for sounding like a know it all,
FIP sucks, too. I lost a new kitten, to it, recently, when she was 4months old.She was so precious.
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