Forum
Sign up Calendar Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment   Page 5 of 9     «   Prev   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   Next   »
PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #61 
Hi P Dudds,

Not a good day today.  Your daddy and I took your sister for a walk this morning and little white dog was in front of our house just as we started.  So of course your sister went crazy and your dad told me to give him her leash, I foolishly did and somehow, his shoulder got worse.  So he was very angry and that pretty much set the tone for the day.  It doesn't make me feel good of course, but with the stress of job search and medical issue I felt overwhelmed and cried.  

The weather is still bad here, of course, but I managed to take your sister for a loop around dinner time.  She really enjoyed it and I was glad it wasn't windy and we both really needed that walk.

I put together a Google Book a week ago and it arrived today.  It is a book of our past two years.  Your daddy and I looked at it together and he teared up looking at your pictures, especially of the long hikes we did.

There is more to tell you but my eyes are tired and my heart heavy so I will tell you tomorrow.  I miss you baby.

Oh, and your daddy will not be holding your sister's leash until his shoulder is fully healed.  

I Love You,
Your Mommy
0
PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #62 
Hi Puds,

I feel better today but still somewhat bothered by yesterday.  I took your sister for a loop this morning and got some work done, so I feel better from that.  I also wrote a lot.  You know your mommy loves writing, always has.  Especially pen to paper.  I reflected on big mistakes in my life and learnings and how to avoid making them again.

Your daddy feels better.  He worked out this morning, not his arms/shoulder of course.  Someone came to the door and of course your sister ran to it and went nuts.  I held her while your daddy went to talk to the salesperson.  He offered to hold your sister but there is no way I would let that happen.  She is strong.  You know the doctor who did the surgery on your daddy said to be patient.  I keep that in mind.

Yesterday he said I am not getting over you fast enough.  I told him everyone grieves differently and I don't want to be criticized for how I grieve.  I know he is very sad about you too and frustrated with his injury and work.  I don't think that makes it ok to do whatever.  Of course I am still grieving, it hasn't even been three months.  And yes I feel stress about my job search, medical stuff, and this weather doesn't help.  What does help is taking action, so I am trying to channel my energy into doing what it takes to reach my goals.

I Love You,
Your Mommy


0
PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #63 
Hi Puds,

I am about to heat up dinner.  I wish you were here, waiting for (my) food to be ready so you can try some.  You caught on quickly that I give you treats, not your daddy.  He does once in a while, but there's a reason you and your sister always look to me at meal times and always keep an eye on me in the house.  I miss you so much.  

I went to the doctor's today, had a at times painful/necessary procedure.  I wish I wasn't alone most of the time.  Your sister is here of course, but your daddy is at work and there are only so many people I can text/talk with.  Same thing while we were overseas.  You and your sister kept me sane.  I love you guys so much for that.  I hope our time in Asia wasn't too hard for you, we hope you enjoyed all the new places we went.

We got snow last night.  The roads are supposed to be icy tomorrow and Wednesday.  Great.

Your daddy is still busy at work, it actually got dragged out, and he is super frustrated.  At least he worked out tonight before getting back on his laptop for meetings.  I strongly believe he will not feel good about his career until he changes jobs (meaning company)  It's been long enough.  

There is a lot going on.  Feel trying.

I Love You,
Your Mommy
0
PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #64 
Hi Sweetie,

I was very busy today, partly because I could not drive fast since we are having another ice storm.  It's dangerous.  Looks pretty but dangerous to be out.

This morning while I was taking your sister for the morning walk, it was raining sleet, and she turned around and we went home.  Later we tried to walk again but didn't get far and weren't out for more than ten minutes.  We went up the hill around the corner and watched a delivery van slide down the hill backwards in a straight line.  I pulled us back from the road.  It was scary.  And tomorrow the weather and roads are supposed to be worse

I miss you Baby Boy.  I look at pictures of you and I remember how soft your hair is, how soulful your eyes are, how beautiful your tail is.  I love looking at pictures and videos of you happy, running around, snoozing, eating.  I am so glad I take so many pictures and videos.  I look at them every day so my memory stays fresh.

I Love You,
Your Mommy
0
PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #65 
Hey Puds,

More snow today and windy.  No long walk again with your sister, hopefully tomorrow.  I plowed snow twice and even with a big plower I am still tired.  The cold weather and having to drive very slowly on these roads are tiring.  Do you remember the plow?  Your daddy would aim the snow to land on you guys.  I have a wonderful picture of you sitting on our driveway in the early morning hours while we were blanketed with snow.  You love this weather.  We miss you so much Baby Boy.

I Love You,
Your Mommy
0
PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #66 
Hi P Dudds,

Happy Valentine's Day!!!  We love you very very much.

Love,
Your Mommy, Daddy, Sister
0
PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #67 
Hey Puds,

We miss you.  We are hanging out at home in the family room as usual and I wish you were with us or in the living room and eventually you'd come to where we are.  I still see you in the house, coming around the corner, laying in your favorite places, walking with me and your sister, looking out windows.  

Today was pretty busy.  I had a good phone call with an old friend about job opportunities, and it was nice to talk with someone I have known for a long time.  Also, the doctor called to review my test results and see what we are going to do.  And your daddy and I went to a new brewery and talked about where we are going next.  All important things.

There is a lot going on.  We are taking it one day at a time, continuing to work on things.  We are definitely still grieving you, we always will be.  You are always a part of our family.  

Do you remember sleeping on our bed after I take your daddy to work and then coming downstairs when I get home so I can take you guys on a long walk?  Five times a week.  I used to look at you sleeping on the camera, and I took pictures.   You are so cute Pud Pud.  Looking at pictures and videos of you make me happy.

I Love You,
Your Mommy


0
PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #68 
Hey Pud Pud,

It snowing, again.  Your daddy and I cleared ice this morning, wasn't that hard but it's cold and we were outside for a while.  I took your sister for two walks, not long ones but it's good to get fresh air.  Aside from exercise class and the market I have been inside.  it is depressing.  I'm going to work even harder on getting us out of here.  I look at pictures and realize I'm happiest being out and about in an environment I like.

Your dad drove today, first time in weeks.  Once the roads are clear he will probably drive on a regular basis again.  I don't mind driving him around though.

Some big things coming up this week.  Almost the end of February.  And almost three months since you left, since we let you go.  You know the only reason we let you go was to end your suffering.  That was the only way to end it.  It will always be with me, like you.  I miss you so much Baby Boy.

I Love You,
Your Mommy
0
PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #69 
Hi Puds,

Your sister wants to say hi, and show you your rock.  And all the soft fluffy snow we got.

I have an interview soon, wish me luck.  I will let you know how it goes.  

I Love You,
Your Mommy

IMG_20190218_103706.jpg v2.jpg 

IMG_20190218_181150.jpg v2.jpg 

0
PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #70 
Hi Puds,

It's not that late but I am pretty tired.  The cold weather and being outside chipping ice and getting up early does it.  

My interview went pretty well.  A lot more hurdles to jump through.  I have to keep working at it, it definitely helps to have support though.

Your dad has passed out on the couch after inhaling lots of chips with your sister.  Sound familiar?  We miss you.  We were looking at a picture of you tonight and you are so pretty.  Many people think you are a girl and your sister is a boy.  She does seem like one in many ways.

I Love You,
Your Mommy
0
PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #71 
Hi Puds,

I am sorry for not writing the past three days.  There has been good and bad and good.  I will fill you in soon.

I Love You,
Your Mommy
0
PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #72 
Hi Puds,

Three days ago marked three months since we let you go.  We don't like being without you.  The only reason we did that was because doctors told us there was no way to alleviate your suffering.  And we know you were not feeling well at all.  A part of me will never get over it.  I like looking at pictures and videos of you happy, on walks, running, peeing, sniffing, snoozing, looking at your sister like she's crazy.  

I took your sister to the vet two days ago because she was eating snow furiously, shaking, and gagging.  Thankfully she is fine, probably just irritated her throat with something and was eating snow to soothe it.  From the experience with you I don't take chances anymore, she got an x ray.  We should have gotten you that when you got sick when we were on home leave.  Why didn't the vet suggest that?  It was too late when we realized how sick you really were.  I will carry that the rest of my life.  

The vet we saw two days ago lost her dog three years ago.  She still misses him and says it takes years.  It was a full year before she could talk about him without tearing up.  I know exactly what that is like.  You are our baby.  You are my first son and people don't lose kids.  

Three days ago it was very icy again.  Getting pretty tired of this weather.  Your daddy and I were busy with an assignment that night, then the next afternoon I took your sister to the vet, then last night we went to a show.  I did not do well on my assignment and was pretty disappointed, but it may turn out ok.  We will see.  I went to my weekly lunch with a local group a couple of days ago and was annoyed by some people because I felt they were judging me.  This has taught me not to talk about certain things with them.  They are from another era and do not understand.  Also they don't have much experience with life outside this area.

Yesterday we had nice weather for February, and I took your sister for a long walk.  I took a picture to show you.

I Love and Miss You,
Your Mommy

IMG_20190222_123930.jpg v2.jpg

0
PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #73 
Hi Sweetie,

It rained so hard last night/this morning that it woke all of us up.  It will be very very windy tonight.  I set an alarm to make sure I get up early enough to take your sister for a long walk.  We did that this morning.  It is probably now time for her morning nap.

I am going for a jog soon.  Work off some belly fat.  I know you can't spot reduce but fat does tend to accumulate there.  

I am kind of irritated.  I don't know why.  Hopefully exercise will help.  I will go back to yoga this week, I used up all my sessions so I have to buy another set and until I find a job I'm trying to not spend much.  

I Love You,
Your Mommy
0
PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #74 
Hi Sweetie,

Start of another week.  Strong winds, cold weather, more snow tomorrow...

I'm having dinner with an old friend tonight, very looking forward to it.  And I have to get ready for an interview tomorrow, a short phone call but important nevertheless.  Although it will be cold all day I will take your sister for a longer walk this afternoon, before my career coach appointment.  I can think of lots of things I should have done differently, but I cannot change any of it now and dwelling on them doesn't do any good.  I am moving on, unafraid, and taking lessons learned with me.

Your daddy has a big meeting tonight.  He will still be busy after today but hopefully not as busy.  It's always something with work.  Previously I waited until things calm down to approach big items, but I have since learned that things never calm down and we need to just move forward.  I have spent too much of my life waiting, when there is never a perfect time.

I went to orientation at the Humane Society last night, I will start volunteering again.  Your daddy and I love you and your sister so much, we will always be grateful to them.

Here is a picture of your sister doing one of the things she does best.

I Love You,
Your Mommy

IMG_20190223_100620.jpg v2.jpg 



0
PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 123
Reply with quote  #75 
Hi Pudds,

Another cold and dreary day here.  Your daddy would rather have this than hot and humid weather.  I don't want either.  We will move sooner than later, closer to where your mommy grew up.

I have a phone interview soon.  Scheduled for 15 minutes.  Wish me luck.

Today I finally got some cost info for my medical procedure.  I have been trying to get these figures for over a month.  I still need a couple more numbers but now I have most of them so I have a much better idea of what the cost is.  It's a big sum and we have to be extra careful because I haven't found a job yet.  

Your daddy and I did a cardio workout in the family room tonight.  Short but still got our heart rate up.  Your sister played with us for a bit then got bored.  Do you remember I used to do yoga upstairs in our temporary house?  My favorite YouTube instructor had her dog with her too during her videos.  I'm going to start again.  Practice at home and save money on lessons.  Truth be told I don't love any of the studios here, and classes are not cheap, so if I can be disciplined that would take care of things on a number of fronts.

There are some things I find very difficult, including you being gone.  I am trying to keep my head up.  I miss you so much Baby.

I Love You,
Your Mommy



  
0
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.