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PudPud

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Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #31 
Hey Puds,

We are all home, all holed up this weekend.  Your daddy had his surgery yesterday.  It went well.  We were at the hospital for a very long time though.  He is resting and has to take medicine every few hours so tired from not sleeping well and being hooked up to an ice machine and another device.  Hopefully he's much better in a few days, but he has to wear that sling for six weeks or so.  

I took your sister out for two walks today, the afternoon one was long even though it's cold here.  It was sunny though, see, I took a picture for you.  As usual she was in front of me, prancing and criss-crossing.  

You are still on my left side on walks, except instead of holding your leash I have your hair in a bag in my pocket.  It's the best I can do.  I so miss walking you and feeding you and being with you.  Life is not the same and it never will be again.  We love you Sweetie.  We all miss and love you.

Love,
Your Mommy

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PudPud

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Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #32 
Hi P Dudds,

We did almost nothing today, it's cold but mostly because your dad is in pain (his pain block is wearing off) and I have had a headache most of the day.  Don't worry though, I still took your sister for her usual walks.  She probably is bored too.

Tomorrow we will leave the house.  Your dad won't be hooked up to two machines anymore and fresh air is good.  I feel bad doing so little today.  I know if you were here you'd give me one of your looks.  

I am trying to not feel depressed.  To be honest I am at least a little.  You are such a sweet boy, and I miss you so much.  

I Love You,
Your Mommy
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PudPud

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Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #33 
Hi Puds,

I ordered this and it arrived today.  Please don't be mad.  I know it doesn't do you justice at all, but I really miss you and it's very tough to find a Finnish Spitz stuffed animal.  

More tomorrow, I am tired from taking care of your dad.  His recovery is going well though.

I Love You,
Your Mommy

IMG_20190113_170219 v2.jpg 

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PudPud

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Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #34 
Hey P Dudds,

We had shrimp tonight, one of your favorites.  I sauteed them, which you like, but I know you really love Mexican shrimp.  I may never make it again, it hurts too much that you are not around to eat it.  You always got so excited and starred at me with your big beautiful eyes and gobbled up the pieces I gave you.  And you and your sister would follow me into the kitchen when I carry in leftovers, knowing full well both of you would get another piece before I put them back in the fridge.  You guys are punks.

Speaking of, this is from our walk this morning.  It was quite cold, but also beautiful.

I took your dad to the doctor's for a check up this morning.  His recovery is going fine.  He has pain of course, but he has finished his medicine and no longer needs to ice all the time.  It is challenging to do some things so I am very glad to help him.  He cannot go back to work any time soon.  We don't know exactly when he will go to the office.  It is cold outside so he is mostly in the house.  I still take your sister for at least two walks a day.  Your dad watches TV and sometimes sleeps.  Hopefully he can sleep better soon.  Tomorrow we will venture out, for a little while, just to get some fresh air.

We have not named the Fox, his name might just be Fox.  He hangs out in the family room.  I miss you so much I looked for a stuffed animal as close to you as possible.  Fox is very different looking but the closest I have found within my budget.

I am still looking for a job.  I was (and am still) very perturbed that I couldn't continue my career overseas.  The only good thing with that is I got to spend oodles of time with you and your sister.  That I will never regret.  Same with turning down that job offer from spring of last year.  If I had taken it I wouldn't have had nearly as much time with you and your sister and your dad.  Family does come first, as much as I care about my career.  You know I have wanted a career change for a long time, but I don't know what I should do.  Your dad thinks I should do what I'm interested in.  What I am interested in is a lifestyle, so should I do what it takes to achieve that?  I don't have a lot of faith in corporate America, so I won't give up important things for a job.  What do you think your mommy should do?

You have been gone 55 days Sweetie.  We miss you so much.

I Love You,
Your Mommy


IMG_20190114_072854 v2.jpg 

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PudPud

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Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #35 
Hi Sweetie,

I miss you.  It hurts.  I'm not happy about some things right now, like my career and your dad's shoulder.  But I will find a job and his shoulder will heal.  

But you are never coming back.  I miss you so much.  Longest seven weeks of my life, almost eight.

I Love You,
Your Mommy
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PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #36 
Hi Puds,

Your sister is guarding us, from the bay window.  That's one of your favorite areas in the house.

I Love You,
Your Mommy

IMG_20190115_142945.jpg v2.jpg 

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PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #37 
Hi Puds,

I miss you.  I know I say that all the time.  I miss seeing you and petting you and having you around.  I am so sad you are not here, and so sad you will never will here again.

I know there's no way to change anything, no way for you to come back.  I accept that because I have no choice.  I just miss you so much.  

People say it takes time, you were older, you had a good life, you were a good dog, they're sorry...I know I know.  I don't disagree.  I'm just sad.  I miss you Baby.

I Love You,
Your Mommy
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PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #38 
Hey Puds,

We talked about you again tonight.  We always talk about you because you are funny and we love you and we miss you so much.  Your sister sniffed the bricks of the fireplace, I don't know why.  Your dad talked about how you used to sniff the opening of the fireplace and then immediately want to go outside.  Did you smell something outside?  

Also our trip to Hakuba, how your foot got stuck between two rocks at the river and you hated both tram rides.  I'm sorry Baby.  But it was really cool on top of the mountain and at the river, right?  Remember that big open area you and your sister ran around in, without leash?

We have so many good memories, we are so lucky.  We are so fortunate we got to experience another country as a family.

We have been camping in the living room.  Your dad cannot lay down so he sleeps sitting up.  We propped the futon on the couch.  I sleep on the couch but mostly your sister hogs it.  Some things don't change.  

Your absence is felt greatly every minute.  We love and miss you so much.

Love,
Your Mommy
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PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #39 
Hi Sweet Boy,

We got quite a bit of snow, you would love it.  I so wish you were here, playing in the snow with your sister.  I hope you like these pictures.  

These have been the longest two months of my life.  Time goes so slow without you.  I miss you so much.

I Love You,
Your Mommy

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PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #40 
Hi P Dudds,

We let you go two months today.  It has been the longest two months of my life.  I cannot overstate how much we love and miss you.  You are still part of our family.

Today was frigid but pretty.  Look, the sun was out and we had a full moon.  There is your rock, Puddy's Rock.

I Love You,
Your Mommy

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PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #41 
Hi Puds,

It's a holiday today.  Your daddy is home, but he's working.  It's still dangerously frigid outside, so your sister and I cannot take long walks.  She starts doing flamingo leg after a few minutes when we are outside.  Do you remember when I took you guys on walks when it's this cold?  We'd be outside for ten minutes, tops.

Your daddy's arm continues to improve every day, which is great.  He showers by himself now and has more mobility but I still drive him.  I actually like it.  The drives are much shorter though, unlike in Japan.  So I am behind on MFF, ha.

We have all been sleeping in the family room so he can prop himself up on the futon.  I think we'll go back to the bedroom soon though.  

I love looking at pictures of you happy and healthy.  I still love pictures of you when you were not feeling well, but they make me sad.  I can see in your eyes you did not feel well.  We let you go because there was nothing we could do to stop the suffering you were feeling.  I will always be sorry we didn't do more sooner to avoid getting to that point.

I Love You,
Your Mommy
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PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #42 
Hey Puds,

It's a sheet of ice outside.  Your sister was slipping around during our very short walk to the end of the block.  It will be warmer around lunch time so hopefully a lot of it melts and we can go on a long walk.  I know she is bored.  

Do you remember Hobbs and his person?  I talked with them yesterday.  They are sorry too.  Hobbs is nine years old and has arthritis, he takes medicine but still difficult to walk.  They think you and your sister are big dogs : )

I went to the doctor yesterday morning, confirmed my situation and made an appointment with another doctor to get the show on the road.  Fingers crossed Baby.

Love,
Your Mommy  
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PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #43 
Hey P Dudds,

Your dad worked all day after a doctor's appointment then came home and we ate dinner then he worked two more hours.  He is very very busy right now.

Even though the temperature got above freezing it was still pretty icy out so your sister and I did not go on a long walk.  AGAIN.  I am as disappointed as she is.

I keep wanting to see you in your usual places around the house.  I miss you so much.

I Love You,
Your Mommy
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PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #44 
Hi Sweetie,

We miss you.  Because of you I have fallen in love with Finnish Spitz.  I love your sister too, of course.

Your daddy is still super busy, more than he's ever been which is really saying something.   He works a long day then comes homes and works some more.  

The weather is still nothing to write home about, but your sister and I did get a long walk in this morning.  Ice roads makes the walks longer and dangerous.  She trots along like any other day.  She did her peeing handstand this morning, on ice, and almost slipped.  Your guys are lucky you have four legs.  Remember I slipped a number of times while I took you guys on walks?

Your mommy have a couple of interviews coming up.  Wish me luck.

We are not complete without you here Puds.  We love you so much and we miss you.  We will always have a hole in our family from your absence.  We still feel it everywhere.

I Love You,
Your Mommy


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PudPud

Registered:
Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #45 
Hi Puds,

I'm sorry I did not write the past two days.  Your daddy and I went to two evening concerts back to back, they both ended around 11:30 p.m. and you know your mommy is old and cannot stay awake that late.

The last couple of days have been rough.  We are having a major disagreement about something very important.  Well, part of it is that something is very important to me and not as much to your daddy.  We had a fight last night and I have felt profoundly sad all day, not just about that but also about you.  It hurts so much you are gone.  I remember the day we found out you had cancer and repeating it to myself the day after and breaking down then.  I never would have guessed you would be gone so soon after that.  I miss you Sweet Boy.  My tears just flow.  My heart hurts.  I think not having the family I want is at the crux of it.  I wish I had done some things differently.  I know life goes on, I just wish some things were different.

We got snow last night, it was soft and light and you would have loved it.  That makes me sad too.  There was ice under it and I had my first fall of the season.  Your sister got three walks today, hopefully she enjoyed them.  I will try to take her on a long walk tomorrow, depending on weather.  I took a picture of your rock covered with snow for you.

I had an interview two days ago.  I thought it went well, I was told it did.  But then quickly the opportunity was gone.  It was jarring.  Looking for a job is not fun, especially when you don't have a job.  I'm sure you know how I feel about my career, you were there through it all.  From resigning to looking to moving to looking and moving again.  The good thing about not working was how I got to spend lots and lots of time with you and your sister.

I Love You,
Your Mommy



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