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PudPud
Hi Baby Boy,

We have nice weather today, your Sister has been outside for hours.  I think partly to get away from your new Brother.  He is a little nuts, tumbles around and runs circles.  It's all so new for him though, this is his second (and forever) home.  We hope he is getting more comfortable, he is still a little scared of your Daddy though.

My job search continues.  I talk with some people also looking and others in companies I'm interested in joining and it helps.  I am grateful to have time at home to help your new Brother adjust and not have to work (though our finances are tight)  And both your Daddy and I try to keep in check we should not have gone on the assignment.

I Love You,
Your Mommy

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PudPud
Hi Sweetie,

I am sorry for not writing for so long.  Part of the reason is I have been busy, and also because I am lazy sometimes.  

Your new Brother continues to settle in, and your Sister continues to get used to him.  I already have plans for just me and your Sister.  Your Brother eats well, sleeps fine, loves being outside trying to get squirrels, rabbits, birds, etc.  He doesn't walk that well yet but we will be going to training class.  Since he was a show dog, he was taught to not sit.  We have some work to do.  

We will always miss you Puds, and we know if you were still here you probably would not like him.  I may take them to grandma's this weekend.  Your Daddy has a business trip so it will be just the three of us for a while.  I have some plans to keep everyone entertained.

And of course, I have to work on my job search and clean.  

I am happy to have your Brother, and sometimes we mess up and call him your name, but we will always miss you.  I took them on a long walk this morning and it was in the area where I took you for your last long walk at home.  Still makes me sad.

I Love You,
Your Mommy


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PudPud
Hey Pudds,

Your new Brother is driving me crazy, but we love him.  He lets us sleep thankfully, but he spends hours outside starring at squirrels in trees and alerting us to squirrels and rabbits.  He would chase them if we didn't have him leashed up.  Also, he has no manners.  No fault of his own because he was never trained.  I will be taking him to class.  

Your Sister is not so amused with him still, but your Daddy and I are hoping they will start playing together soon.  I take your Sister out just the two of us sometimes, to make sure she gets enough attention and some time away from your vocal Brother.  

Your Daddy is on a business trip.  A long one unfortunately.  We have half way through though and cannot wait until he is home.  I feel very fortunate that I have a lot of time and flexibility to take care of your siblings.  I hope he has a good time because he works hard and has a lot on his shoulders.  

I am still job searching.  It gets so tiring sometimes and I get depressed about my career.  But every friend I have talked with has offered to help and it does take time.  I have also been reading about people in similar situations (caretakers, military spouses, etc.) and listening to TED talks and they make me feel better knowing I am not the only one going through this or has ever gone through this.

I listened to one TED talk this morning and the speaker said it's not what you do as a job, it's who you are when you are doing that.  And if you don't know what to do, try this:  childhood dream + talents.  For me it's news anchor + analyzing, arranging, empathizing, recognizing individual gifts, and having purpose/mission.  I can run with that.

I Love You,
Your Mommy
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PudPud
Hi Sweetie,

Your Daddy is on his way back, we are very excited!!!  

Your Brother is driving me nuts, but what else is new.

I Love You,
Your Mommy
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PudPud
Hey Pudds,

Your Daddy returned safely and on time and brought lots of snacks and drinks.  All yummy I'm sure but none of it healthy.  I haven't tried them all but I can assure you that.

He is still jetlagged, not surprisingly.  

We have company this weekend.  We are looking forward to it.  I have been cleaning and running errands all day and took your Sister and Brother one two walks.  The weather is actually nice.  A bit warm but low humidity.

Your Brother looks like a smaller version of you but personality wise pretty different.  

I have two interviews next week.  Wish me luck.

I got 501c3 status for your namesake non profit.  Next is website and business plan.  We miss you Sweetie.

I Love You,
Your Mommy
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PudPud
Hi Sweetie,

We had friends in town and had a good time.  Was tiring and busy but good to see everyone.

I am off to an interview in a few mins.  Wish me luck Baby Boy.

I Love You,
Your Mommy
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PudPud
Hey Pudds,

We have autumn like weather today, which is rather nice.  I'd love if this is as cold as it got.

I have another interview today, wish me luck.  The Monday one went fine.  It's hard to tell if/when I will get an offer.

There are many things I want to tell you.  I will write again when I return.

I Love You,
Your Mommy
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PudPud
Hi Sweetie,

I am glad it's the weekend.  It was a long week with two interviews, a lot of driving, long walks, and errands.  

I already got rejected from one company.  I don't know why, the interview conversations to me were good.  I really cannot tell, it is such a crap shoot.  We will see what the other one says and I will continue to do my job search.  Look for openings, apply, talking with people, doing courses online, staying positive.  The last is probably the hardest for me since I patience is not my forte and glass half full isn't always my first thought.  I have to keep going though.  

I am angry about time and money lost but nothing can be done to reverse any of that.  I admit I am resentful, but time will help that and I won't always feel this way.  I have to stay busy and be as positive as possible to help combat the resentment.

Your Daddy has been busy as usual, with work and other stuff.  We are happy when he is home.  

Your new Brother leaves his toys all over the house and runs around like he owns it.  Your Sister, Daddy, and I all think he is nuts.  I wonder what you would think of him.

We have had really unusual weather lately (re: nice)  Here are some pictures.  And your Brother has not gotten on your rock.  

We miss you Pudds.

I Love You,
Your Mommy

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PudPud
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PudPud
Hey Pudds,

It's the start of another week.  We took your Sister and Brother to a local brewery last night.  I think they had fun and were worn out.  Your Brother did get loose from the car and ran back into the brewery.  Thank goodness he came to me and your Daddy came with his leash so we left from there.

It's August, kind of hard to believe.  We did not work out much this weekend.  Your Daddy's knee hurts and I am still a little sore from pilates on Friday.  

My usual work continues.  I am trying to look at looking for a job as a job and doing work that I am proud of.  I take good care of your Daddy, Sister, and Brother so I am definitely proud of that.  Your Grandparents are not getting along and I am trying to help them, I have to admit I am not sure how to though.

I am tracking my calories again.  Food makes so much difference, more than exercise.  I read somewhere food matters 80% when trying to lose (or gain, I guess) weight.  I am also trying a new dance studio nearby this week.  It is in the next city.  The city we are in has a premium that IMO is not justified.  And I believe your Daddy agrees.

Another goal is to not be so angry.  I definitely feel behind and it wasn't our doing.  Takes time though.  I have been thinking about this, I read it this weekend.  Five things to stop doing- pleasing others, being afraid of change, doubting yourself, regretting the past, and overthinking.  All applies to me.

I Love You,
Your Mommy






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PudPud
Hi Sweetie,

We continue to have amazing weather.  I took a picture of your rock for you.  Your Brother has not gotten on it and probably won't.  It will always be your rock.

It is the weekend, yah!!!  We have some plans but also need time to do things around the house and work on job search.  I haven't heard back from the company I interviewed with last week, but I know it can take a long time and sometimes they never get back to you.  This whole experience has been terrible so far.  It is much harder than I expected and apparently it is not unheard of to have a job cancelled or never get a response even after an in person interview.  I focus on moving forward though, I have to keep trying.

Last night your Daddy and I took your Sister and Brother to a event.  Weather was perfect and we all had a great time.  It is nice to be outside and to be with others who love you guys as much as we do.  Your Daddy said you probably wouldn't have like it because there were so many people, but you would have sat and gotten a (several) treats.  We miss you Puds, we always will.

I Love You,
Your Mommy
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PudPud
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PudPud
Hi Sweetie,

Here are some pictures of your Sister and Brother on a morning walk and at the farmer's market.  We wish you were with us.  We miss you.

Some things are going on with your grandparents.  I will fill you in later.

I Love You,
Your Mommy

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PudPud
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redgirlraven
This is truly a lovely tribute.  I am so sorry for your loss 
AR
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