Mandy539
I don't know where to start. Yesterday morning I lost my cat James. I had to make the decision to put him down; it all happened so fast I feel like I could have done more or made the wrong choice. He was 15 years old, and I took him into the vet because he was constipated for a few days. The vet told me he could sedate him and try to unclog him, but his stomach felt so hard he didn't know how far he was able to go in, and chances were he'd get constipated this bad again. I knew James was in poor health because he lost a whole pound in a month. I took him a month prior because his joints hurt, and he now slept all day. He lost a majority of his teeth, so eating hurt and his mouth and he threw up a lot. His mouth was infected, he had a growth in it. His eyes were watery all the time and when I brushed him a few months ago, I noticed places he lost fur. He slept all day and only woke up to lay in bed with me or eat. My boyfriend told me a few times to get ready and brought up putting him down, but I didn't see how much pain he was in because he was so happy. I just feel terrible because I could have tried a laxative or giving him fiber. I could have given him more canned food. I didn't know, and the morning I took him I to the vet he was so happy the vet couldn't check his heart because he was purring so loud. I thought it would be a quick fix and we'd be home together.The vet asked me how his quality of life was because losing a pound in a month is a lot and being that badly constipated wasn't good, and I cried because deep down I knew being asleep all day with no teeth and your joints hurting and losing weight and becoming fail wasn't good. I cried and I said I brought him in because i wanted to know if that's what James needed. I love him too much to make that decision especially when he wants to live so much. James had the strongest will and saying goodbye was hard. Especially when he was so happy and giving me headbutts as I was given as long as I needed alone with him. I just can't cope, I felt his body relax while he was put to sleep and I feel horrible. Couldnt I have done more? Am I a terrible person? Should I have tried the procedure of going in and unconstipating him?
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scrappykelly
Mandy,
Firstly I'm sorry for your loss, it's an unbearable time for any of us who have lost our babies. By the sounds of it I think what happened to James in the end was for the very best for him, maybe not you but yes him. He had a few medical issues which were probably an indicator of something more serious. He had a great long life with you by the sounds of it! I don't believe you should be feeling guilty, you should be proud you had the strength to do what was best for him. No more pain, no more aches and left this world with dignity. In time you will feel this too. You will be able to accept that it was time, his body was shutting down slowly and you saved him from more pain and discomfort. Sometimes we are too close to the house to see the chimney but believe me and the others here that are going to advise the same......majority of us had to make that decision too, I did only 9 days ago and while it feels like your heart is tearing and you cannot see how life is going to go on, it does. You need to be kind to yourself, let the grief works its way through, don't subside your tears just let them out and have a good rant and rave here (believe me you feel so much better chatting to others who "get it"),
Believe you did your best and even if you did have the operation and things went wrong on the table you would still question your actions, we all do, and it is natural, but don't let the guilt grip you, you should be proud of urself and most importantly James for being each other's rocks for so long,
Take care and keep chatting here,
x
Taily
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snakenole
I agree with scrappykelly. Looking at it from an outside perspective, it sounds like it was his time. And like the vet said, even if you could take care of the constipation, it would most likely come back and he had other problems on top of it. 

I'm very sorry for your loss. But you have nothing to feel guilty about. It's very clear from your post how much you loved him and anything you did for him you did because you believed it was the right thing to do. The vet would have talked you out of it if he/she didn't believe it was the right thing to do. And they know best. 

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Mandy539
Thank you this means so much to me. I know if I were to go through the procedure it would be hard on his little body, and recovery during 15 years olf would be hard. I like to think of him being energetic and happy his last few hours as a way to make me feel better because I wasn't.
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