Rockys_Mommy
I lost my dad last summer, my mom this past May ..and my baby boy Rocky two weeks ago. I loved my parents dearly and I was very close to them, but losing Rocky was a huge, huge blow. Losing him was much harder. I have been crying most of the day, every day. My oldest daughter goes back to college (4 hours away), this weekend.

I am just feeling very low tonight. :(
Kim
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jdavis515
Kim, I can relate to how your feeling. While my losses have not been recent ( I lost both my parents and a brother by the time I was 12, a best friend at 16, my only known grandfather at 21, and my brother in law who helped raise me 2 years ago- I'm now 35), I have been hit hard by my dog's death also.

I don't think that people understand that dogs have been the loving, interactive family members i needed since I was a child. My family was reeling from back to back losses of our father, brother and mother so no one could focus on the little girl (me) who needed love. I have always depended on animals to that for me. Even today, I am not close with my remaining siblings. My husband and my pets are all I have. I only have acquaintances, no real good friends. No one to talk to about how sad I feel-except my therapist!

My animals are my family. The ones who love me no matter what. No matter how badly I mess up, they always forgive me. My human family has never been able to that for me. My biggest fear is that I messed up for Hailey. I still am not at peace with the decision to euthanize her. It has been 3 weeks. I am making myself sick over it. I cry over her urn everyday. I cry looking at her pictures. My chest hurts whether I am thinking of her or not. I have no energy. I just want her back.

Yesterday we took our greyhound to the vet (I was convinced she had cancer, but she is fine!). The vet said "I really wish there was more we could have done for Hailey." My husband replied "You guys did everything we needed you to do for her, you were great." The vet says, "no really- I wish we could have done more." WHAT? Was there something more I could have done for her? Was he saying I should brought her back in? She wouldn't eat drink, couldn't stand or walk. But did I miss something? Why did I give up so easily? It was torture watching her like that-but could we have done something more to turn the corner. This is killing me. I just want to go back and do it over and take her back to know for sure it was the right thing. Why didn't I do that?

Also feeling low (about rock bottom),

Jeanine
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casseopeia
I too am feeling horribly sad. My beloved malamute Moki died yesterday. He was pushing ten, but still puppy like. A worker at my place accidentally rolled his truck on Moki on Monday. He got up and seemed fine, not marks, no broken bones...but Thursday he woke up obviously in pain. X-rays revealed inoperable internal injuries and I had to let him go. I am so devastated. All my life I had been hoping to find a pet companion like him. Now he is gone. Hugs to all of you out there who are in pain from grief like I am.
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sadieandsugar
I am very depressed too, I lost my very special sweet little girl SADIE and it has hit me very hard, I lost her almost 3 years ago on DEC13 2010, and im still so very sad and depressed and I will be this way until I die and join her up in heaven!!!!! RIP SWEET SADIE GIRL MOMMY MISSES YOU SOOOOO MUCH BABY GIRL EVERY SE3COND OF EVERY DAY THAT GOES BY, IT HURTS SOOOO MUCH AND IT ALWAYS WILL HURT FOREVER AND EVER UNTIL I SEE YOU AGAIN, LOVE YOU MOMMY. SADIESMOMMY
my sweet sadie girl she was a pomeranian and she was the sweetest little girl ever, she loved every one and she loved life in general she was my child because my husband and I could never have kids of our own, so she was definately our daughter, she was thebest furkid ever in my life we were soul mates from the beginning , we adopted her when she was only 8 weeks old, she was so cute and then she turned out to be the most beautiful pomeranian ever I have ever seen in my life. she was with us for 8 wonderful years but I didnt think that was long enough she was so young when we had to put her to sleep, she had diabetes foe a few years and then her kidneys just started shutting down it was so sad it killed us when we had to say goodbye to sadie!!!!!!!
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Vivian_M1
I too join you guys in depression. It has been 2 weeks since we had to let Stella go. Like JDavis I feel like I thought there was something else we could have done before we made that awful decision but she had cancer and after the operation would not eat only drink and was getting more weak by the day. She only lasted 1 week after the surgery but I too question whether there was anything else we could have done to get her to eat so she could have gone on alternative meds for the cancer. Why didn't we catch it earlier, could there have been something else we could have done.  This is too eating me up. However we did get the full biopsy results last week and the vet said she had a fast mutating, growing cancer so even if we had been able to treat it, it probably would have only bought us a small amount of time with her. And we would have had to make that terrible decision to let her go anyway.
The weekends are the worst for me.  Stella loved when her whole pack was home with her.  I miss everything about her. She was the smartest most gentle dog.  She had helped me to learn to love again after we lost our other dog a year before and our first dog 5 years earlier. Those still upset me but she seemed to make it better. Now she too is gone and I am very sad.  There is nothing like the love of a dog.  We are nowhere near ready to get another dog and I am sure we will not be for a few years if ever. Having lost 2 dogs to cancer I know I will be so paranoid that the next one will get cancer too.  I am still crying and I can't bear to be around any other dogs yet. 
Hugs to all of you and thanks for listening. 
Vivian M.
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felyne
I'm so sorry you lost your furbaby. They aren't with us long enough. I share your pain.
I lost my kitteh, too, yesterday. It's so difficult. They take so much of our hearts with them.
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heartsick

 

 

I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet precious Rocky.

We all “what if” ourselves when we lose our babies. We play it over and over in our heads like a movie.

Grief is awful and there is nothing else like this pain.

I am divorced - when I was married I buried my son- at that time I became a Certified Grief Counselor- I used the same graveside service for my Bear as I did for my son.

Please know that when we lose someone we love we don't stop loving them -

 LOVE NEVER DIES.

The soul bound connection that is between our babies and ourselves is forever.

Nothing - not death- tears -grief - or sadness will ever break the ties between us for those ties are made of LOVE so strong that NOTHING will ever sever those connections.

LOVE NEVER DIES.

They are with us wherever we are. I can feel my Bear so very frequently though he is buried in a beautiful animal cemetery about 45 minutes from where I live. My bunnies – Nori an Arthur are buried at his feet. Arthur has only been gone for 5 weeks. Yesterday was the first time I had to take one of the puppies back to the vet since my tiny Arthur died. They are always with us – we feel them and they Love us as we Love them.

When we grieve for those we love it is because we do not quite know how to live without them. We breathe because we have no choice but the living part takes a huge amount of learning and time.

If you read the beginning of any one of our threads you will recognize yourself. We all feel  the same gut wrenching raw searing pain of new grief.

Grief is not something we get over but something that we learn -slowly- over time- to incorporate into our lives until it becomes a part of us like our bones and our breath.

Please know that we all understand here and we are all here for you.

We are all in this together and all walking the same roller coaster path of grief together -

some a bit ahead of you, some by your side, and some will come behind for you to help along.

You Are In My Thoughts.                                       

Susan(heartsick)

 

 

 

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PeteyLover

Rocky Mommy I'm so sorry, but I too am in the same boat. I lost my father in February this year and my mother exactly 14 months before. They were both the only constants in my life. I was devastated and still am. I also lost had lost 3 of my 4 dogs since 2011, seemed like one every year. All I had left after all this was Petey my 16 yr old Jack Russell. He was feeling his own losses as the 3 Aussies I lost were his very loved sisters he'd been with all his life. Petey got me thru loosing everyone. Well I say "got me thru" like I'm okay now, but I'm not. And then the last straw. On May 13th I lost my little Petey. The last few years I've pretty much lost EVERYTHING that I love and that's made me life worth anything. When I lost Petey, something happened to me. I think I broke. I find myself having a harder time with loosing him that I did with my parents. But maybe its all rolled up into one big misery, I don't know. I think sometimes I'm a terrible person because loosing him has sent me over the edge and not loosing my parents. But then I think maybe it all snowballs, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I'm sitting here as down as I can be and in tears and just wanted to ad my opinion. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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heartsick
Please do not feel badly for grieving. Each new loss brings up every previous loss and we tend to grieve
one huge loss that can overwhelm us at times.
Our babies are our children and we do not expect to outlive our children - even if we know we will we bury it in the back of our minds and we refuse to even let it out for a second. Just the thought of it hurts too much. Most of us do expect to out live our parents.
I did bury my son and burying my Bear was no different.
It is all right to feel whatever we feel in grief as there is no right or wrong - just pain and longing for something we cannot have.
We truly do understand here.
We care about you here too.
So come back and write whatever you need to or want to as we are all here for you -
We are family here.
You are in my thoughts,
Susan
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Rockys_Mommy
So much pain here. I am so sorry that we all have to endure this. :(


Kim
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