Maggie12
As of yesterday i lost my dearest friend my everything my other half in my arms .. i never thought i would ever be in that position to make a decision to let her go or continue ... i feel so guilty but i did t want to be selfish and i just hope from the bottom my heart i did the right thing .. for her 😞i didn’t want to see her in pain anymore .. and now we’re here trying to cope with this but it’s so hard knowing i will never see my little baby anymore ☹️☹️I just can’t understand why why her ..
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camunki
I am sorry for the loss of your Maggie.  I do know guilt does consume us in the grieving process, we all go thru the could haves and should haves. You were selfless with your girl as you knew she was in pain and you gently helped her cross into her next life.

How old was your lil' girl Maggie? and what a beautiful picture you have of her.

My heart goes out to you at this difficult time.

Cam


 
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Kittypiller
I can feel your pain, I had to make the sme decision back on dec 21 for my 4 1/2 year old cat Butters. It really hurts and questioning yourself if you did the right thing is a normal part of grieving. What was your babies name? Below is a pic of Butters she had cancer & was in kidney failure and as much as it hurts I know I made the right choice for her as Im sure you made the right decision for your baby. I am here for you and everybody here is very caring and understanding.
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Lamont
You are in supportive, good company here, so please stick around, we need you here, too.

L
Bertie's Daddy
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Maggie12
@kittyp I’m so sorry to hear .. it’s really hard of course you want them to be here but then again you have to think about them .. and thank you so much I’m glad i herd about this i really need support me and my mom don’t know how to cope with all this her name was kiki ..
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Maggie12
@camunki I know I’m trying to hang in there for example I’m at work just thinking what if or Idk I’m just so confused Idk what to think .. she was 4 years old very young and thank you so much it means a lot
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Maggie12
@lamont thank you so much this is what i need
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Maggie12
I’m learning how to cope with this and take it as it comes today is the third day without her and just knowing i will never see her again kills me at times I’ll be calm and accept it for a sec and then I’ll just start crying hysterically feeling desperate and anxious 😞
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CKMP
Maggie12

I am so so sorry for the loss of your sweet fur girl.   What a beautiful girl!  This decision leaves us within a living 'hell' - to be so unselfish and to make the ultimate sacrifice torments the soul and the spirit.  Rationally we understand what we must do to set our loved fur one free from pain, discomfort and loss of dignity and yet emotionally it takes our hearts a long time to come to terms with this decision.  One becomes plagued by should haves, could haves, maybes and what ifs....really all to no avail but to compound our grief with guilt and second guessing of ourselves and our vets.  We take on the responsibility for our fur ones - and so we often believe most everything is in our control, our 'capable hands' and so we can 'fix' or remedy everything for them...sadly we too often come to a point where things spiral out of our control.
Grief is because we love so deeply - and because there is a bond so tightly cast between hearts.  This bond is forever and always - and your sweet Maggie will hear your voice for always.  Grief is is powerful and leaves us without control - please do not let guilt slide in and rob you of the loving grief - do not let guilt taint your sorrow - do not punish yourself - I know only too well once inside the door, guilt is difficult to get rid off.
Come here often - there are such kind and understanding people on this forum.  Do not travel the road of grief and mourning by yourself.  Each day is just that each day to take one step at a time -
Wishing you a moment of two of calm within this 'storm' of loss - take care.
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Nancyj
I'm so sorry for your loss.  I lost my kitty two months ago and this weekend I was crying like it was yesterday.  Grief comes in waves.  I'm sure you will find that out or already know it.  We do second guess things.  I have been seeing a grief therapist recently who told me some wisdom.  Grief is all over the place...a big scribbled mess. There is no order to it, no stages, like everyone says.  Don't let anyone rush you in your grief!  As far as second guessing goes -- you really do know in your head when it is time to say good-bye, but our hearts are just not there yet.  That's what makes it so hard.  You did it at that time because your head told you it was time.  And if she was suffering and in pain, it was the right time. I am not an advocate of keeping a precious friend alive for my own sake.  I can't stand suffering.
You are in good company here.  Be kind to yourself.  You were a good cat mom.  Just remember that.  The love goes on forever.  
Nancy
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Lamont
Maggie,  Nancyj is right, grief is "all over the place"... when we lose our best friend, our feelings are thrown in to a sort of chaos, and I , too had to make that dreaded decision to end my Bertie's pain and suffering. That is our duty to them, when that time comes. I'm still a wreck, but owe it to Bertie to honor her by living my life, even if it's gonna be a steep climb for a time.

Let me just say, she was a beautiful girl, so elegant.
Bertie's Daddy
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Trajan50
Maggie12 wrote:
I’m learning how to cope with this and take it as it comes today is the third day without her and just knowing i will never see her again kills me at times I’ll be calm and accept it for a sec and then I’ll just start crying hysterically feeling desperate and anxious 😞


But you WILL see her again!
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ForMitookie_03
Maggie12,

I'm so sorry for your loss of Kiki.  This is still so fresh and we all know exactly how you feel.  I lost my beautiful Siamese boy Mitookie on January 27, 2018.  One of the worst days of my life.  In the beginning, there is always ruminating over the last days, the guilt, the intense pain that for me and likely many others was even physical.  Like you just can't breath.  I couldn't focus on work, eat, sleep, and wanted nothing more than to just be alone with my pain.  I had my baby for 15 years and my bond with him was like no other.  It still hurts so, so much.  But trust me, it does get better.  It does become manageable.  I thought I was literally losing my mind.  I even felt that I just wanted to be with him and that a life in this world without him was too painful to fathom.  You unselfishly brought peace back to your kitty when you ended her suffering.  And just like Trajan50, I believe you WILL see her again.  Keep coming back to the forum and talk about your feelings.  Write letters to Kiki if it helps you to say the things you wish you could say to her.  Your loss is so fresh and so you are in the most critical time of the healing journey.  Be kind to yourself, rest, drink hot tea, and tell us all about the wonderful Kiki.  She is beautiful and I love the picture.  I have yet to post a photo of Mitookie, but I will one day.  You have come to the best place to get the love, hope, and support that you need.  The folks here are kind and wonderful and they care. I will be praying you find a little bit of peace and comfort for a better tomorrow.

Marina
Marina ~ Mitookie's Mom
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ScoutsMom
Your beautiful Kiki reminds me of my cat I had through my entire childhood growing up. She taught me the true love an animal can give to your life. I just lost both of my babies last month. My dearest Banjo died Feb 10. He was 16 and I had to make the horrible decision to let him go. Then like in a nightmare my most precious and beloved Scout took a bad turn and died while I was sleeping next to her at midnight Valentine's day. I had had her since she was an 8 week old puppy.
I completely feel your loss and pain.... the uncontrollable crying and such emptiness and deep deep pain.
I am so very very sorry. Let yourself grieve as long as you need to.
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