skmk
It's been six weeks since I lost my Dickens. I try to keep busy but the sadness permeates no matter what I'm doing. I'm seeing a new therapist tomorrow and hope she can help. I'm hoping she can help me find a local support group for people who are grieving pets. I haven't been able to find one here in Ct. I have checked. I'm sure there are support groups for those who have lost people but I don't think that those grieving people and those grieving pets would mix. I'm so greatful for this pet loss site and for all of you who have shared your stories. You've all helped me feel not so alone.
Peace to all in your pet loss journey.
Skmk
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MAlcindor
It just doesn't get easier. Some days are better than others but somehow the sadness just does not go away. I really hope the new therapist works out for you. I've also looked for a support group locally here in FL but it just doesn't exist. The humane society had one but they told me they haven't held a meeting in over 5 years. I believe that is the reason why we grieve so long. We have to keep our feelings to ourselves because no one really understands. Today I feel so sad I've been crying at my desk all morning but I have to hide it because no one will understand that I am still grieving my babies. This forum has been the only outlet for me, thank God I found it. Much peace to you too.
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skmk
MAlcindor wrote:
It just doesn't get easier. Some days are better than others but somehow the sadness just does not go away. I really hope the new therapist works out for you. I've also looked for a support group locally here in FL but it just doesn't exist. The humane society had one but they told me they haven't held a meeting in over 5 years. I believe that is the reason why we grieve so long. We have to keep our feelings to ourselves because no one really understands. Today I feel so sad I've been crying at my desk all morning but I have to hide it because no one will understand that I am still grieving my babies. This forum has been the only outlet for me, thank God I found it. Much peace to you too.


You're right MAlcindor. In our daily lives we have to hide our feelings because people just don't understand. They think we should be over it in a few days. This forum has been the only outlet for me too. I'm not sure about the new therapist. Maybe she'll think I'm a nut. I'm very nervous about it. Yes the sadness persists. I know just what my dog would have been doing at any time of the day. I just cut up a cantaloupe. He used to love it and knew he would get some.
I'm sorry you're having a bad day too. Do your co-workers understand? Thank you for responding to my post. Wishing you peace and hope that this unrelenting grief loosens at least some of it's grip on us soon.
Skmk
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MAlcindor
I think my boss is the only who that understands because he's had babies he's had to put down and when Max and Bailey passed he told me to take however long I needed to. But I feel uncomfortable, I don't people to see me cry. They'll think I'm nuts.
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skmk
MAlcindor wrote:
I think my boss is the only who that understands because he's had babies he's had to put down and when Max and Bailey passed he told me to take however long I needed to. But I feel uncomfortable, I don't people to see me cry. They'll think I'm nuts.


I know what you mean. I don't want people seeing me cry either. Glad you have a nice boss.
I had an awful experience today. I thought I would feel better going to one of my favorite places (the craft store). Well I hadn't been there in awhile and the place moved and nothing was where it used to be. I puttered around then got this overwhelming
feeling of loneliness. Thoughts of Dickens we're in my head. I started to cry and had to leave the store. I still have the anxiety from it. It was a horrible feeling and very unexpected. My new therapist has her work cut out for her.
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Rookiesmama
Susan and Marlen,

I'm so sorry you're having rough days. The last few days have been rough for me as well. I had dental work done, and I think something is amiss (I'm kind of a baby with the dentist anyway though) and here I am trying to lie down and all i want is my Rookie laying next to me. He was such a good comforter when I wasn't feeling well-he'd always grumble a bit, because he had tons of energy and wanted to PLAY but would always end up caving and laying with me. ❤❤

I think it's shocking how people just expect us to be okay after a bit. I'm very thankful I can share (and repeat myself!) on here. Susan, I hope your meeting with the therapist goes well.

Hugs to you both.

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Millie18
It's so difficult because these feelings are so unpredictable. They come up when you least expect them or want them, regardless of where we are. It's disconcerting when we feel so powerless over them.

I have a pet loss group that I started going to. There is a meeting tonight, but I can't bring myself to drive in rush hour traffic to get there. It's a fantastic group, but I just want to stay on the couch tonight.

I'm also starting a new freelance job tomorrow. I haven't worked since June when I took the time off to spend with Mill. I'm dreading tomorrow, doing work I dislike and being surrounded by strangers. I pray I can keep it together and focus on the task at hand.

SKMK I hope your new therapist works out for you. Having a safe outlet for your grief will help. I pray that she will be good for you

I've been thinking about you Marlen, having double the grief and loss. I don't see how you WOULDN'T still be grieving after all you've been through losing those 2 sweet babies of yours. I don't know how I would be able to cope

Melissa, I hear you re the dentist. As I've gotten older I've apparently become more sensitive to pain and dental pain is up there. I hope everything will be ok.
I can just hear Rookie grumbling then lying next to his mom, comforting you.

Something about the big dogs that gives us a sense of protection. My rottie did the same. She would grumble to let me know to pay attention to her, then when she knew I was feeling bad would stay very close. If I was very sick she would lie on top of me to keep me warm. Rookie is lying next to you in spirit. Just try to listen more closely for his angel grumbles : )
Diana

Mom to Millie, Roman, Snoopy & step sister to O'Boy
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skmk
MAlcindor, Rookiesmama and Millie18,
Thank you all for your support and understanding and for your well wishes for my therapist appt. I'm very nervous about it.
Rookiesmama I'm sorry you've been having rough days too. I hope your dentist appt. went well. I know what you mean about our pets being such a comfort during those times.
Millie 18 good luck with your new job tomorrow. I'll be thinking about you. It's not easy trying to manage this grief.
Thank you and hugs to you all.
Skmk
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Millie18
Skmk

Just wanted to check in with you to see how you were doing today. Did you already have your therapist appointment or was that still happening today?

I survived the new gig. Thank you for thinking about me. I kept praying to Millie that she find me a good fit with sane people who wouldn't be working me to death. It appears to be a good place to work and there were 2 dogs, 1 of them a big smoosh face black mastiff who came to visit me for some pets. Tha made my day : )

Wishing you a peaceful weekend
Diana

Mom to Millie, Roman, Snoopy & step sister to O'Boy
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skmk
Millie18 wrote:
Skmk

Just wanted to check in with you to see how you were doing today. Did you already have your therapist appointment or was that still happening today?

I survived the new gig. Thank you for thinking about me. I kept praying to Millie that she find me a good fit with sane people who wouldn't be working me to death. It appears to be a good place to work and there were 2 dogs, 1 of them a big smoosh face black mastiff who came to visit me for some pets. Tha made my day : )

Wishing you a peaceful weekend


Hi Millie18
So nice of you to check up on me, thank you. I did have the therapist appt yesterday. It went ok. Don't think she's an animal person. She was sympathetic but said well we have the pet and enjoy them while they're here but keep in mind they don't live as long. She didn't seem to understand all the emotions that go along with the pets passing. Her statement just hit me the wrong way.
I felt like she was saying that we just get a pet, enjoy them and then get another one. She kind of skipped over the grieving part. I don't know maybe it's me . I'm looking to interview another therapist.
I'm glad your job appt. went well. That's great!
I could have never pulled that off. I'm still to depressed and anxious.
May I ask you why there were dogs at the office?
Just curious. I wish you all the luck with the job .
Thank you again for checking with me.
Skmk
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Millie18
Hi Skmk

That comment would not sit well with me either. It sounds like she would be discounting your feelings. That would make me feel worse. Good idea to interview others.

Don't be afraid to ask questions that are important to you as well. Whether she/he has pet loss experience with clients, or even whether they have pets of their own, rather than waste your time, which will stress you out even more.  Are you having phone interviews or are you meeting them in person? If you can ask a few  pertinent questions on the phone it might be a easier on you.

I do a lot of short-term freelance work in the apparel industry. Some companies allow employees to bring their pets to work and I guess this is one of them. It's a fairly new company, so it's not a corporate environment at all.

I had spent over 3 weeks at home just mourning and writing every day, sobbing screaming, doing whatever I had to to not lose my mind to get that energy out of me.

I have also lost 4 young friends within the last 2 years in addition to losing 4 dogs during the last 5, so I have been in some sort of continual mourning for over 5 years now. I was also in therapy years ago for about 15 years where I was able to release my past losses as well. I found it to be very difficult, but because I felt better and better I kept working at it and am very glad that I did.

If you can find a therapist that will be the right fit for you you will feel better, but it won't always be an easy journey. It will be a very fulfilling one once you have found the person you can bond with.

ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT! If you aren't comfortable with that person please don't force yourself. Keep looking for someone else. You want someone with whom you can build a long-term relationship because you will be bearing your soul to them.

Can you check with your local shelters or veterinary hospitals if they know of any pet loss groups? I found one in my area through one of Millie's classmates. I've been going when I need to. I know they're hard to find. I know it's difficult to think when you're feeling anxious, but if you can muster the energy to do so it might be worth a try. It will also help you feel like you are taking steps to gain control over your life again and take care of yourself.

I will be thinking about you this weekend. Take care of yourself and email me if you have therapist questions. I have counselor friends and have a degree in Psychology in case you have specific questions.



Diana

Mom to Millie, Roman, Snoopy & step sister to O'Boy
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