Heartbroken73
I write this knowing that there was nothing I wouldnt do to have one happy day to spend with him and just him..I wish I could tell him and better yet show him what he meant and had given me and how I understood that and was aware..I would drive a week or empty my bank account for one last walk where we could sit under a tree and he could just listen to me ramble and softly rub his velvety soft ears as he watched the comings and goings of all around him and just have his time which he loved..Im not ready to talk on the guilt or the wishes for a different ending yet so my mind goes there to a place that feels safe and wanting and happy not the life choices and regret that I often feel and carry until I have to put it down till the respite and crumbling finally stops and the surreal comes back in..broken is why I decided to console and let him pass but the goodbye that didn't come weighs heavy and it is me who is now broken..he was special in all ways I sometimes couldn't be and i miss him always seeing me a so..im grateful to be able to express to those out there that may hear my feelings and to know I'm not alone it does give me some warmth to know that like him there is special people out there too and without judgment but understanding..most important..I lost my best friend but I didn't lose ever caring about him and posting makes me feel whole for a short time again and I'm thankful for at least that retrieve and to share his legacy and not feel so helpless with him and alone now with his loss
George king
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Tucker_Mommy
It is so hard to lose them.  They are like family.  You are not alone.  The grief is more then I thought it would be.  Not that I didn’t think it would be tough.  I think it is almost more difficult now with everything going on in the world.  They know how much we love them.  I try to take solace in that.  That he is no longer in pain.  That he is free.
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VR
You are not alone... life feels very surreal since I had to put Lily down... I had her for 12 years and am completely lost without her.  The pain makes it hard to breathe.  I just miss her so much...so thank you for sharing and know that I am so sorry for your loss 
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Heartbroken73
Sorry to here about your lily and thanks for caring as well..its been so hard and I know what you are going through as I am..I try to think of the moments that matter but right now it is too hard..the world is hard enough to find solace in and when your safe happy place the solace is gone it is agonizing and no longer feel safe in the bigger picture..I am sorry so many of us have lost so much I really wish for that happy ending that others sometime find with what they love most..they will always be a part of us and for me I found without question he was my best part and I miss him dearly..someone on here put it best that when you bond and they become a part of you we are still unworthy of what they give us and I'll add to that I feel its even more special because they never try to seek happiness elsewhere and that's as special as it gets and we will ever find or have.. Hang in there I wish I could say it gets better but blessings only come so often.. I'm here just know not alone
George king
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VR
Thanks! You hang in there too!  Lily was a rescue, but it was she who rescued me...She had such a beautiful soul... I also would give anything to have another moment with her.  It is just so painful... 
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