Lilimarie
I haven't been on here for a while, I've been trying to keep myself busy.  So much of life has changed in the past 3 months.  The hardest being losing Benni and the way he died.  So suddenly, unexpectedly, and horrifically.  He was sassy and so funny and very loving.  We walked all the time.  It became his social hour.  We met neighbors, other walkers, people stopped us to look at him and ask questions about him, he made new friends all along the way.  We wished people good morning everyday and he loooooved these walks.  He proudly strutted down the street with his tail wagging and every so often he would turn around to check on me.  He was a happy soul and loved to love.  When I lost him, everything changed instantly.  I no longer see his friends, they don't even know who I am without him.  He really was quite the personality in our neighborhood.  He was known as the little white dog, with the big ears, who sat in the window and barked, of course.  We called him "the little creeper" always snooping on the neighbors and being nosy.  Now it's different.  I go to the gym instead of on neighborhood walks, and I don't stop and chat or share quick conversations with others, social hour stopped.  That's how I feel like I became invisible without him.  I have nothing to say now.  I lost my sweet boy and I feel his absence in many routines.  I've gotten stronger with accepting his loss, but on days like today, I miss him so fiercely the tears are abundant.  I just want to put his leash on, run down the porch stairs and watch him strut down the street again..And it hurts me...I love you, Benni. Forever.
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jaschutz
Your post brought me to tears. I so miss my walks with London as well. That was OUR time. I would do anything to have our walks back. London would always get so excited when I said walk that she would do this half growl, half bark. She never barked. I so miss hearing her voice. My heart is breaking right there with yours.
Jamie

You can visit London's memorial at:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/LONDO001/Resident.htm
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Lilimarie
I'm sorry you lost London.Your girl was beautiful. She looks so gentle and extra cuddly. Walking with them was such a special time. No other activity I've tried can even match the happiness it provided me. I miss my little partner so much. I was robbed of so many other years with him. He left so early. I hope for some peace for you and London was lucky to have you.

Lilimarie
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Apollo_the_great
I'm sorry for your loss, but what happened to your baby?
William
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Lilimarie
When I got home from work, he was lifeless at the front door. I could see his back through the glass door.. The curtains were pulled down, torn and wrapped around his neck. He choked to death from them. I don't know what happened or what prompted that., But he didn't deserve to go that way. Scared, alone and confused. He was only 6y/o and so healthy. It still shocks me.
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indcolts18288
So sorry for your loss and for the way it happened. It's horrific things like that we cannot explain or understand. He sounded like a big personality in a small package. I am honored to hear the story you posted. Walking our pets is our time to be proud of them and show them off and I have a feeling they think the same about us too when walking. i hope today passes and tomorrow is better for you. It really is a daily struggle and a roller coaster. I hope you find peace my friend.
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Apollo_the_great
that sounds so horrible.  I'm so sorry. Thanks for sharing it.
William
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ahartofilis
Benni  was so adorable with those immense big ears!! Its easy to see how he would be so popular with the neighbors. I really do understand a lot of how you feel. So much of my life and every day routine revolved around taking care of Coco and seeing to it that she had her daily walk. We have lived in this neighborhood for all of her 10 yrs. and had gotten to know quite a few people. When she first left for the bridge in December I couldn't even bring myself to get out there without her. I also had an identity crisis and thought ' I am the woman who walked that crazy dog'  No one would even want to talk to me now that she is gone.
It has been quite cold and snowy here which also left me with little motivation to go for a walk but I am not a "gym" person and I need to move. I also know deep in my heart that Coco would want me to walk again, the way that we did together. So little by little I would get out for a short walk, one day, a longer walk another day. Sometimes through tears for her!! I was able to reconnect with a lot of the neighbors through tears sometimes as I let them know about her, and what happened. Some cried with me. I am so glad that I overcame my fears to realize that those neighbors were friends to me as well as Coco. 
  Alot of people knew how much I loved that dog,and they know how much you loved Benni!!!It will never be the same without them, yet I am sure that your neighbors miss you, and Benni. They don't forget the positive energy and love that you shared when you allowed them to get to know your precious Benni. I truly believe that you would not be alone out there. Benni is there to guide you along. Sometimes I feel the closest to Coco when I do the things that she loved to do!!
I just wanted to share my experiences of late with you. I still struggle with the loss of my dear, sweet girl and it really means a lot to me that some of my neighbors cared a lot about her, and me as well!!
Please take care and know that my thoughts are with you.......Many hugs to you and Benni from Me and Coco girl.....Sincerely, Andrea.
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Lilimarie
Thanks everyone for your support and kind words. I know everyone understands how it's a day by day process. I'm blessed to have had the experience of rescuing such a sweet boy and giving him a better life than living on the streets. He thanked me everyday and I could feel it in my heart. As time moves us forward, I have more good days now and share his funny stories with friends and family. We compare and laugh. He will always be a huge part of my life. I wish everyone on here peace and love.

Lilimarie
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lsavage62
Lilimarie,

I am so sorry to hear the pain you are having today.  Like many, I too have suffered this same loss.  I have 3 dogs, two that we rescued.  We had to have Duke, a rottie we rescued about 8 years ago, put to sleep.  This was several years ago but whenever I dust my mantle where his urn and pictures are, I still cry.  It's strange that little things stir up such deep emotions in us all but that just makes us human.  He made me a better person and I gave him so much love.  I don't ever regret getting any of my pets, they teach us all such huge life lessons on how to love, how to be patient.  Today, my kitty cat, Emmy, was hit by a car and passed away.  I reached out to Rainbow Bridge to get comfort and instead feel like I need to be giving comfort than asking for it myself.  They say God has a plan for everything.  Maybe the reason I lost my Emmy today was so I would see your post and reach out to you.  

Please go back on your walks, I think though it may bring up painful memories it will also bring you good ones!  After Duke passed, we waited about three months and rescued another Rottie, Hooch.  He will never replace Duke but my heart needed another baby.  Don't feel like you have to wait to get another pet.  Check out your local shelter.  There are soooo many babies that need the love that you have to share.  I hope the suns shines just a little brighter in your little corner of the world this afternoon!  Hugs!
Lori
Lori Savage
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loft2111
I remember reading your original post regarding Benni.  It's terrible how he passed, at times there is no trying to make sense of this world and why things happen the way they do.  I'm so sorry that you are hurting and can't imagine how you must feel finding Benni the way you did.  I too miss my walks with Little Man, in a way I think all of us disappeared when we lost our fur babies.  I work from home and remember looking out the window and seeing all the neighborhood dogs walking past and marking all of LM's favorite spots, I lost it many times while looking out the window. 
Take care and wishing you well.
LM's mom
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