Frankielia
Hiya .. I'm new to here and just wanted to share what happened to my baby ... As at the moment I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel ... I'm depressed , I don't sleep, and cry most days. Things just ... Really aren't the same.
So here goes .. My little dog Ralphy .. He was a French bulldog who we bought 3 years ago. And what an amazing character and friend he was! If even a little stubborn lol. Well from the age of around 1 we started to notice that he always had his tongue hanging out and also had very heavy breathing ... Especially during exercise. At 1 and a half he was practically full size and his tongue had grown with him it used to hang right out .. And his breathing was getting worse... Vets confirmed that he had an enlarged soft pallet and at some point would need an operation .... By the age of 3 which was last year in October, we were told if we didn't have him operated on we would loose him in around a years time .... So what is a girl ment to do in this situation ... Being that I wanted him to have a normal long life we made the decision to let him go ahead and have the op ..... Surgeon Consultation basicly explained that he operates on these dogs 3 4 times a week with a big success rate ... Being that he could tremendously improve our little ones quality of life, so with tears in my eyes I gave my gorgeous little boy a kiss and said mummy see you in a couple of days .. Then off he walked with the veterinary nurses ....
Surgery day came and I was a nervous wreck at work ... I got the phonecall saying he was awake from the surgery and it seemed to have gone well ... But obviously with all ops they keep them in for observation
The next day I had a phone call early morning telling me he wasn't doing well at all ...he'd developed pneumonia and his lungs were filling up with fluid .. He was put into an oxygen tank and put on medication straight away ... That day seemed like the longest day ever ..... So then the next day came in and although they said he wasn't out of the woods ... They said he was doing a little better ..... 2 hours went past and the dreaded phonecall came .... He had taken a turn for the worst ... His lungs were collapsing and he wasn't going to make it ... They told us he would be gone within the next few minutes ... !
Devastated doesn't even come close to how I felt or still feel ! I actually think I felt my heart break. ... I blame myself for letting him go ahead with the op although people say but we would have seen him suffer if not I still feel absolute guilt !!!
I never got to see my little one again i couldn't face seeing him like that (not alive) .. I pictured him laying there alone .... The way he was so clingy with me and my mother I just think about him wondering where his family was and it breaks my heart into tiny pieces. I really am lost still 3 months down the line, I look at his pictures most days... Sometimes think people must think I'm daft over a dog ... But he Definately wasn't just that to me it was more like a child and the feeling of loss and depression just isn't leaving my mind at all.
My only clarity is that he had the most wonderful 3 years of love care and a real good home. But whatever way I look at it no time would have been long enough to have him .... Xxx
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Kittypup
Frankielia,
I don't believe this feeling of loss will ever leave us. The mental picture of our little ones lying there alone, wondering where we are, are always heart-breaking. I wish you peace in your heart.
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AliceM
I am so sorry, Frankielia.  We put so much trust into what our vets tell us we must do.  And when things go bad its so hard because we had entrusted our babies care to them.  I have lost 2 of my babies after surgery, one only 6 days ago and truly, I don't think I will ever have enough trust in a vet to ever be comfortable with leaving another baby with them.  I know Ralphy  knows you did everything you could for him and that you loved him deeply.  I hope your pain eases one day soon.
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Dalidog
I'm so sorry for your loss.  What a heartbreaking story.  We trust the vets and do the best we can do to provide good care for our angels.  Your Ralphy knew you did all you could do and that you loved him very much.  I lost a Lhasa a few years back after routine kidney stone surgery.  I always hesitate before taking any of my animals to the vet because of this and I sometimes feel I waited too long to take my Dali girl.  When I did, he said she'd be fine, gave her a shot and meds, and she just died with no warning the next morning.  I know how you feel.  It has been 5 months for me and it never gets better.  Some animals are like children to us and losing them is devastating.  Take care of yourself. I ended up losing 20 pounds and on antidepressants.  I still cry every day. I try to think it was just their time, they were called home. They give us such unconditional love and support that no one who hasn't lost a furbaby could possibly understand.  My prayers are with you and Ralphy...hugs from me and Dali

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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