Nadine
I made the hardest desicion of my life yesterday to put my best friend of 17yrs to sleep. I now feel such guilt because I feel now that she wasn't ready and could still be with me right now. I feel like I took her life away and have betrayed her and can't stop crying
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NormaT
Dear Nadir,

I'm so sorry for your loss. It really is the most difficult decision to make and the doubts and the guilt are normal. Please believe me that everyone of us who have had to make that decision has those very same feelings and thoughts, no matter what the circumstances.
You can get heap loads of support and understanding right here at this forum.

Sending you a virtual hug.

Norma
Norma 
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jimmy17
So sorry Nadine, its so hard making the decision, and feeling guilty is part of the grief. We had to make that decision just before Christmas last year with our dog Jim. He was also 17, and as we`ve no kids he was just like our baby.  Even though we really had no choice as his quality of life had deteriorated rapidly, I questioned myself constantly over the following weeks. Its really only now that I know we did the right thing.
 You`ve come to the right place, this forum gave me so much help - just knowing you are not alone and that what you feel right now is normal.

                                                           Hugs & peace, Jackie
J Taylor
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Beaglemomma
Oh honey you have no reason to feel guilt.  Seems like no matter what the circumstances we find a way to place guilt on ourselves.  I have to assume your baby was in serious distress or this would have not been done.  As someone much wiser than I am said here "you took her pain on yourself, so that she could be FREE of pain". 

I know my Molly was there to greet your baby when she arrived.  Molly never met anyone she didn't love.  Molly crossed the bridge last Thanksgiving and I am still crying over her daily.  These little ones give us so much and all they ask is to be loved.

I wish you the best and fastest healing possible.  Take care of yourself.
Puppy.JPG 
janice
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Apollo_the_great
So sorry for your loss. Only time will heal the pain.
William
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winstonsmom12
Nadine  Your baby certainly lived a very long, full loving life.  You gave her 17 years of love and comfort.  Pets cannot talk, so it is up to us to help them.  None of us know what our pets are feeling.  They hide their pain and suffering very well.  There could have been something seriously wrong with her.  What a lovely dog she is.  From the picture I can see aging in her face.

Don't feel guilty.  This forum wouldn't exist if none of us were going through this grief.  Post often, so many kind folks here to help.   Hugs  Sue
Susan
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Nadine
That is the hardest thing. At the vets she wasn't in serious distress. That's what made the desicion so hard. A year and a half ago it was discovered that she had a mass in her belly. The vet and myself did not want to stress her by putting her through any surgery etc. The vet said the mass could be cancer or not but that it wasn't causing any pain. In the time since she had lost most of her hearing, had gotten incontinent ( I didn't care about that bless her) and had gotten so so skinny. On Wednesday night she vomited then had a very scary episode where I held her and comforted her. She tried to walk but collapsed. I laid her on my bed and stayed awake all night with her. In the morning she had improved and was back to normal, though still weak on back legs. I made the appointment to see the vets. Connie, my dog, hated the vets but not on this day. She seemed at ease. The vet felt for the mass and said it was the size of a grapefruit almost. She said that it would burst eventually and would very painful and fatal. She said that Connie had lots of issues going on but the mass was the main one. I thought I was losing her the night before and was thinking "please don't go this way" as she looked so frightened. So that is what has made it so hard. Connie wasn't in extreme pain or suffering but I was so scared that she would have another episode while I was at work and die alone and frightened or that the mass would burst and she would die alone, in pain and scared. I wanted to be with her when she breathed her last. I found I couldn't say the words to do it. It took an hour in the vets before I just nodded. Me and my daughter just told her over and over again " we love you so so much" until she had passed. But the pain I feel now is beyond anything I have ever felt. I feel that I should have brought her home to be with us all. But I was so scared that I would come home from work to see she had died alone and scared. I hate this feeling and can't stop crying.
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Mollygirl
I had the same experience, but I think my Molly had had a stroke. So here I am at the Emergency Vet at 3:30 a.m. giving the ok to put her down.

It was the MOST gut wrenching, traumatic experience I have ever felt in my life. EVER! I LOVED that dog so much!! Had I failed her? Was I a terrible owner?? It's been 2 weeks since that occurred and I think of her daily. It's like there's a HUGE hole in my heart.

You did the right thing. He looked like a great dog! Take care.
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lizzie_252
Nadine and Mollygirl,
I feel exactly the same way, the feelings of guilt you described, it's how I feel now. I said good bye to my cat Zizi Wednesday and I think at the time I was in such an anguish that I didn't think about other options. She wasn't responding to IV fluids after two days at the clinic and the blood tests pointed to kidney failure and probably diabetes.  So I made that decision to let her go peacefully then and there because I was also afraid that if I take her home she would die alone when I am at work or sleeping at night.  I didn't want her to be alone when she died and the vet told me that she would pass at home in a few days. But despite being rational and knowing in my mind there was no hope, I keep asking myself "what if I kept her more time at the clinic, maybe she would have improved? What if I had brought her home and taken time off from work and had stayed at her side, then at least she would have passed on in her familiar surroundings, on her bed?" Now I will never know. Today is the fourth day and I miss her so much.  Yesterday I didn't get out of bed and between crying spurts I read the posts on this forum and wrote her a long letter apologizing to her and telling her how much I loved her  and how I miss her. I will get her ashes next week and hope it will make it easier.
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winstonsmom12
Nadine   You did the truly right thing. You wouldn't have let Connie suffer the pain, or the horror of having the mass burst.  At least I know I couldn't bear to watch that.  You and your daughter were with her at the end.

She remembers that, and is most likely very grateful to be out of pain and misery.  Her body was failing, just like my Winston's.  It hurt me terribly to watch it.  The first 2 weeks after Winstons passing, all I could do was question myself if I did the right thing, what else could I have done, and Why did this happen to my Baby. 

I have come to terms with myself I did the right thing.  He had more problems than I realized.  He is at peace now with all the other furbabies, playing, and romping.   Peace to you and your family   Sue



























Susan
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Nadine
Thank you everybody for your support. I know this pain and guilt will stay with me a long while, if not forever, but your words have been so comforting. I just miss her so much.
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