Heartbroken73
I miss my baby boy words can't explain the agony and regret I feel deep inside..I feel as tho I am a shell of what I was and what I was trying to find..We had a trip planned and he was one of the precious belongings I was bringing with me for one last adventure one last trip it was going to be wonderful..Now his need of me and his exuberance and excitement in how he saw me and made me feel no matter how hard things got it was always us and presence that made me feel whole and his older dog needs like I had true purpose and need to my life.. He was what I could depend on his calming demeanor.. His laid back casual personality along with out routine..we had been thru alot and as he grew older and a little grayer so did I and I didn't feel so alone..where others had failed me he never did in caring and being unselfish often waiting his turn or if away patiently waiting hours for my return.. He always gave up things for me that life sometimes brought with need from others even his sister or girlfriend being so much sassier then him..I want to post the whole story but its so hard to do I am not strong enough and feel so unworthy of what he gave me and showed me tho I've had tough times how to truly be without blame or feeling sorry..this site helps but hurts as well to hear all the pain yet support and all the hope yet despair.. I fear reading thru others hearts that mine and the deep pain that his loss has brought might be something I have to carry forever..with him it was supposed to be so different then my dads loss which I compare this feeling to now except I lost my parent and feel I've lost my baby..I was never fragile but this humbles and rips at my spirit that until last week was full of excitement and hope and plans and never thought it would be without him by my side one last trip.. I'd love to share his story but words right now would be endless and wouldn't want it to be unworthy to his legacy I carry.. His needs I so wanted and loved to do for him but his loss its me who needs and is now this boulder and weight to my spirit that I cannot carry when it was him who was carrying me every rough moment I have gone thru in just needing and being there and loving me.. Family shows they don't understand and here I feel some solace it shows how cold the world really is and without him keeping me warm often from it I am struggling and feel lost without him.. Love you Jazzy 
George king
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BorderCollieLover
George:

Spoken like a true, pet-loving person. My heartfelt sympathies on your recent loss. Yes, their presence in our lives is so fulfilling - yet so humbling. Please share (when you are up to it) some stories about your beloved dog. Meanwhile, posting here can be very helpful. I know it has helped me so much over the course of my healing journey. We all understand.

Jim
Jim Miller
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Heartbroken73
Thank you both for your reply.. I can't tell you how I cry while writing as the emotions and thoughts come pouring back searching for the next words to express the loss of him..I know you have lost too and I feel a kinship with you where with others immediately around me I do not.. It really is a cold reality to feel loss and alone due to loss and even more alone with people that saw that bond and all I put into it and gave up some for them to be there and now feel so much guilt and my passion and hopes for better no where now in sight without him..I am grateful to be able to hear others where I don't feel so alone and share where a part of him I can express it been so hard without him and our story is full of what life and connection and bond I feel all of us seek but with him I found and that purpose now being removed has removed a piece from me so dear and important words cant explain tho I'll try with later words I hope do justice.. Thanks again and I'm hear for you as well and read on your loss too and know how tough it must be and really appreciate you taking the time to write
George king
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Pennysforevermom
George,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I truly understand how you feel right now. My baby passed away suddenly at the vet on Saturday night and I am still trying to process everything. I agree with you 100% about the unbreakable bond that we have with our babies. They love unconditionally. They provide stability. They are there for us when humans fail us. They are pure. They provide comfort in a cold, uncertain world. I pray for your healing. Trust me I know how much you're hurting. I still can't believe that my baby is gone.
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Buddy_Mama
George, I too understand everything you’re feeling, as I’m experiencing the same. That deep bond, that sense of purpose, that unconditional love from a companion who’s always there, always so supportive... to endure the loss of all that feels unbearable. It is indeed the loss of a child, and does feel different than losing a parent (I lost my dad 1.5 years ago). We can’t bring our babies back... but we can try to take care of ourselves, and each other here. Sending you hugs...
Cindy (Buddy’s mama)
My baby Buddy 5/4/10-3/7/20, rescued March 2011
My sweet Mandy 11/27/91-11/2/10, rescued November 1992
My beautiful Barney 4/28/73-9/7/92, adopted May 1973
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