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Gmr

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Reply with quote  #46 
Some people are so heartless when it comes to animals. I had someone tell me it takes about 3 wks to get over the loss of my dog. I just looked at them and thought to myself , yeah right. That's why I'd rather have pets then deal with people especially nowadays.
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Achilly

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Reply with quote  #47 
Everyone heals differently, i say do what you can and helps. For me it will be a long time before I get another fur baby. We still have our cat shadow and are giving her are all the attention we can has lost so many siblings two dogs and three cats. She is the last one and I feel so bad for her. I hope you all find a time where you can remember your lived one with smile and not pain. I'm hoping that for myself too 💜
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Mslinda

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Reply with quote  #48 
Exactly,  that is crazy and so untrue. I lost my golden retriever,  Khakie in 2017 and I still hurt and cry when I think of him and my golden Rex I lost him in 2012. No one cam tell us how long we should grieve over our pets.
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Saska24

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Reply with quote  #49 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lily123
It’s been almost 2 months since lily passed. I feel so much guilt. I still cry and feel so anxious all of the time. I got her blood tests and ultrasound done and the vet seemed confident it was cancer and a tumor was starting to grow in her small intestine. Turns out, after looking at the official results and consulting with a different vet, that it was focal thickening that could turn into a tumor. Still, I was convinced it was cancer and didn’t see the point of pursuing an ultrasound with this new vet. I was planning on keeping her comfortable until it was her time and she didn’t have a quality of life. I thought I had time to figure this out, but 5 months after her symptoms started, she was in such bad shape she had to be put to sleep. Now after doing some research, I realized this could have been IBD. If this was the case I could have put her on steroids and changed her diet and she would still be here. I feel like I killed her. To think she may have slowly starved to death and been in pain for something I could have prevented makes me sick. I should have kept going with the 2nd vet. How could I have been so blind? why did I just give up? I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself. Time has not healed anything. I hope that she knows if I knew I could saved her and if I had the info I do now, I would have done everything.


It helps me a lot to read about all the stories I can relate to. I feel so much guilt, too. My Westie, Quaint, would be 13 Years in May. He had Cushing Syndrom. I ask myself constantly, would it be different, if I would go sooner to the vet or should I go to another vet, should I have tried different this and that....
I believed so much I was doing everything right. On the end he was only bones and skin, he was not greeting me as I came home from work...I should have known better! I should bring him to a vet sooner.
He had skin problems all his life, but all I heard from vets was I should try a different diet, I should bath him with a special shampoo.... I did everything. I always managed his skin problems. Until last year as his skin problems became worse. The vet said, as expected, different diet, so I didn't go to a vet anymore. I tried alternative medicine, found a certified Homeopath, who run bioanalysis and the result was Cushing Syndrom. With a special treatment he was getting better, his skin was healing, his hair was growing, slowly, but growing, I changed his diet as suggested, giving him herbs as subscribed... Now I think it was too late. Although he was eating, he was constantly losing weight, he was losing interest in everything, he was only sleeping. He could barely stand at the end.
At the Vet station I experienced the nightmare. I felt like the worst pet parent in the world. As I told the vet I went for a homeopathic help to help him, he wouldn't listen at all, I tried to explain, but it was worthless. I didn't do anything in his eyes, I left my pet untreated.
The blood results and X-Ray showed he had enlarged liver and was very anemic. He could barely stand.
I am not sure anymore I made the right decision and it is eating me. The guilt is so big that sometimes I can't breathe.
Why I didn't go to a different vet? Why I didn't go to a vet different vet months, years ago? And the worst guilt, why I didn't see the alarm the second he would not come greeting me as I came home? Why?
I know it has no point asking myself all this questions, I can't turn back time, but it helps to write them down and to know some of you will understand.

The whole routine changed. weekends are the worst. He is everywhere, but yet, he is not there anymore.
I am happy to go to work, although I can't really concentrate, my co-workers doesn't know (and wouldn't care).
He was my everything. I have a partner and two cats, but he is not there anymore and they can't fill up the emptiness that remained. I miss him so much. I would do anything to have him back!

Thank you for reading this and thank you for all of your stories that really help me to know I am not alone with my destructive thoughts.




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Judicoltrain

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Reply with quote  #50 
I also feel the Same way as if everyone on this forum is feeling the guilt and keep asking ourselfs the what ifs. I know I feel it every day and its terrible pain we pain we go through. I got a million what ifs and thinking he may be with me still also. Very unhappy with vet and also emergency visit. I feel helpless knowing there could have been something they could have done for him upon his perhaps being misdiagnosed. I was so traumatized when I took him to emergency and couldn't even think about what to tell them to do check this check that. I do feel the blame everyday and will for the rest of time. I'm sorry for your loss and just to let you know you are not alone with these thoughts.
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Mslinda

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Reply with quote  #51 
We all on the forum have asked the same questions over and over again because I was so mad at myself for taking comet to my vet to remove his tumor from his neck because comet was doing fine before his surgery but the tumor was getting bigger and coming around to his throat, which would have choked him to death.  So I chose to remove it but now, I'm beating myself up. I dont know how close you are to God or how spiritual you maybe. I'm being told by my pastor and other spiritual people that. We all come here with a birthday and a death day. I believe this because the events  that led to comet's death came so fast.The tumor appeared in late october.  It kept growing so fast. That made me rush him to surgery.  The surgery caused him to develop the fluid in his lungs which caused his heart to over work and led him into cardiac arrest which caused him to die on that 12/23/19 because that was his death date to leave.My point is, no matter what all we may feel we didn't do to prolong our pets lives, or to prevent their death. It was God that made that judgment call. Man has no power over God. That was the death date that God gave them when they were born into this world. I have let go of my anger towards my vet because he was just a person that was used in comet's whole death date.  It couldn't have been stopped because God said so. If I had came after my vet legally. I could have closed his office. I had the proof of incompetence.  But, it wasn't his mistake that took comet. It was comet's destiny by the word of God. It has taken me a while to realize this and drop my legal actions against my vet. So, please, please stop blaming yourself,  it was nothing you could have done to prevent the death because the death  date was already set by God the almighty. God bless us all.Linda
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Achilly

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Reply with quote  #52 
I think the guilt is a part of grieving, how can you make the decision to end the life of your fur baby without feeling guilt. Even if you know it ended their suffering. I what if myself everyday. What if we tried chemo what id we tried seizure meds, what if what if what if😢😢😢 But when i stop, I know we did what we truly felt was best for him and did everything we could to make those last six weeks full of love and made him as comfortable as we could. Chance has a already had a bad heart and he wouldn't of been able to handle surgery or the side effects from cancer treatment. His vet agreed and we trusted her he went to the same vet his whole life. But the hole is still there and I miss him so much and would do anything to have my baby boy Chance back.

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Mslinda

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Reply with quote  #53 
I know, I know exactly how you feel. I've asked myself these same questions.  What if I hadn't had the surgery on comet? What if I had 5aken off from work that Saturday and took him to the new vet that Saturday instead of that Monday morning 12/23? Would he still be here? Then reality kicks in and say no he wouldn't still be here because God intended for him to go 12/23/19. I prayed the week before comet died and I asked God to not take him. I begged God to spare him but the date was already decided. I could feel the presence of death coming for him. My oldest daughter had two dreams about him dying. Each time she has had a dream about death in my family, it never failed. Someone died. That's when I began to pray after she told me about her dreams.i couldn't stop death, I tried so hard.. money was no option. Everything went on hold to heal comet. But, sometimes the process of grieving will slip into your mind and make you wonder,  if I did the right thing? I will answer that question for all of us who had to make that judgment call for our sweet. Wonderful pets.  God , please help us all on this forum.Linda
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Lily123

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Reply with quote  #54 
Does anyone get nightmares after their pet passed?

I’ve been having different versions of the same nightmare. I find that she can be treated and then I tell her “don’t worry, I will take care of you this time” or I get a second chance to save her. Then I always wake up after I find I can save her. It ruins my entire day. I have been wanting to cry all day, as I had another dream last night
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Saska24

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Reply with quote  #55 
It's been 15 days since he is gone and each night I have these complex, heavy dreams, not nightmares, but really heavy, like I am waiting on a train station and no train is coming, I'm walking in the rain, completely wet, but don't feel the cold, flying with a helicopter, but it can't take off, run and try to hide, but can't open the door or can't find a key....only once I dreamt about him, his skin was so nice, pink colored, I could see new hair growing and I told myself the treatment is finally working, but then I realized, he is already dead and I blamed myself for not helping him sooner. Even in my dreams I feel guilty.
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Mslinda

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Reply with quote  #56 
No, thank God I haven't experienced that.Lind
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duchess400

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Reply with quote  #57 
I woke one night last week because I thought I heard Bubba Dude whimpering in pain and I jerked awake ready to rush to him and try to ease his pain, only to realize after I had come fully awake that it was my own whimpering that woke me. I broke down inconsolably and couldn't sleep the rest of the night. I say this, not because it was a dream of him, but because of my great love for him. I do believe their spirits can and do come back to visit us and sometimes that is through dreams.
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duchess400

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Reply with quote  #58 
One more thing I would like to suggest that I began doing several years ago that has brought me great comfort during times of loss. Find a way to have your fur baby cremated. For me, it has helped me feel they are still with me in a sense. Each one has their own urn or decorative container with their name on it. Though they aren't still with me in the physical realm, they are still with me in spirit. God bless and comfort each one who is grieving the loss of their fur baby.
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