Neo
This cat is gone because of me. If I had still had my job, I wouldve had the money to take her to the emergency vet. They refused to help save her life despite the fact that we would have the money the next day. I treated her unfairly compared to my other cat and cant stop thinking about how mean i was to her when she was the sweetest animal i have ever known. I wouldve given my life for this cat to make up for all the things i did wrong. I cant stand being alive
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jeffreyburcham
Neo, please do not beat yourself up. The uncaring business you took this fantastic feline to, and I am not calling them an Animal ER, is to blame. Where was their compassion not for you, but for this cat? I have beat myself up for things I do realize were out of my control. You were not mean to her, the uncaring, unprofessional people you took her to were. I know your pain and even your guilt but you are not guilty of anything except unconditional love, the same as everyone else here. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You are not alone here, please believe me.
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Neo
thank you. this hospital was the only one available, and i tried and searched many numbers. we did find one vet lady nice enough to help in a desperate attempt to save her, but it was far too late. the guilt is there because i didnt have the time to make up for everything i did
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jeffreyburcham
I understand and share your grief and pain. My Satin Marie endured months of radiation and chemo and when the time came, it came so soon. I was fortunate to know of a closer animal hospital to us than one that was much farther and even more expensive, not that I was ever concerned with cost. We are not rich, by any means, trust me. We were fortunate to have had a couple of credit cards we were able to use for her care. I know all too well about not having money to care for our fur kids. I still feel I should have spent more money on my feline princess Sparkle in 2008, maybe it would have given us a few more months together. I still feel those pangs of guilt over my Satin Marie, should have gotten her to a vet sooner when she first started showing signs of getting bad again but I hesitated hoping it was just a minor set back. In the end, the cancer got her but did I prolong her pain, for my own selfish reasons? I am here for you, should you just need to scream or cry. I've been doing both myself since she left me.
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Neo
it would be nice if all of us pet owners could be together for a real memorial. i think we are all shocked when something like this happens despite the fact that we already know their life span is less. for the first time in my life i have had no appetite. maybe its my way of punishing myself. i dont think youre wrong for prolonging the life of your pet or wanting the pet for longer months. its a double edge sword situation. i walk around the house slowly and constantly fall to the floor slowly breaking down. i do hope it gets better for you and thank you for your kind words
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jmrlily
Guilt is part of the grieving process many times. When you care about your pets as we do, you feel responsible for their care and always wonder if there was more you could have done. You did all you could have done in your circumstances, please don't beat yourself up over it. Also, loss of appetite is part of it, for me anyway. It seems to be  a part of the grieving process many times. I haven't had much of an appetite since last week when I had to let go of my Lily. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

Jane
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Ozziemom
So so sorry for your loss I had to put my little boy Ozzie down 4 days ago and it's killing me our closest vet is 3hours away it killed me to have to travel 3 hours with him suffering all the way there he was 14 years old I am having a very hard time with dealing with his loss it was always just me and him I love alone and he was all that I had everything in my house is a constant reminder our daily routines he was the reason enjoyed being at home now I can't even come home I get up go to work suffer through my day then I go to my mom's and sit there and cry for hours till I know I have to come back home and face the dread of Ozzie not being here I don't eat I hate being alone I am so thankful that I found this site cause I am not alone in how I feel cause you all understand what I am going through I love Ozzie and I still talk to him but it's hard to get motivated to do anything I too feel guilt but I know deep down it was for the best but I just wish I could have a few more years with him he was my everything mom loves you my little old man and I know we will meet again just really really hard
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Neo
your situation so similar to ours. that long drive is devastating. my mom was more close to this cat, and i have to wonder if she will feel that when she leaves and comes back. she hasnt left the house since it happened, but she is being stronger than me. I feel like I failed my mom and the cat, and our other cat. I cant even look at my mom cause i feel its all my fault. I really shouldnt even be here at this forum. You all are good people, and not deserving of this pain. it tears me apart to hear about others
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Ozziemom
It tears me up to Neo when I read others painful stories and how hard it is to cope it's gonna be tough and the sense of loneliness is the worst part i feel guilty about not being able to go home as I always did but it's just to empty for me to handle at this point I hope you and your mom will find comfort it may not be anytime soon but I do believe time will heal all wounds not as quickly as we want them too but they will my heart goes out to everyone just remember you are not alone in how you feel
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Nunusmom
Neo, 

Thank you for the kind words about my precious Nunu. My thoughts, prayers and deepest condolences to you and your mom for the loss of your cat. I can sympathize with you on the guilt. You wouldn't feel these feelings if you didn't genuinely love and care about your cat. You tried to get help, you didn't look the other way and just leave. We are only human and sometimes that comes with limitations be that physical or financial. I agree with jeffrey that it is the uncaring business that shoulders the burden. Back years ago, we had a pup that was injured from being attacked by another dog. The dog had entered her fenced yard uninvited. We took her to the closest vet that wasn't our usual vet. The vet was so uncaring and would not release her body to us until we paid her bill. I could not believe at such a time of crisis that someone who I felt had taken a vow to help animals would be so petty over money. There are all types of people in this world Neo and from your words I know you are one of the good ones and kind ones. Please do not think it is your fault...you went for help....it wasn't your fault that you were turned away by the first uncaring person...you tried again...you tried your best and that's all that we can do. I pray for peace and comfort in your heart for you Neo. 
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Neo
thank you nunu. i hope things get better for you as well during this. 
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