michellebass19
I am having serious emotional problems trying to cope with the recent loss of my dog Ace. He got out of my backyard on Saturday and I chased him down the street only to see him get hit by a car. I keep having flashbacks and am having trouble focusing on the good. When my eyes are open I keep picturing his lifeless body and when they are closed I just keep seeing him getting hit. I don't know how to cope with this traumatic loss and heard that joining a support group seems to help a lot of people. Does anyone have any advice on how to curb these horrible images?
We have another dog Chomper who is having problems with not having Ace around and he knows something is wrong. How do I help him adjust to being an only dog? Every time I take him outside, he walks to the end of our driveway and just sits there and stares down the road like he's waiting for Ace to come home. This is absolutely heartbreaking. Can anyone give me any assurance that he will be okay?
Can someone please help?
Michelle Bass
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Manjack
Michelle
I am so sorry for your loss and that you had to witness Ace's death. What a terrible tragedy!
My dog died due to illness so he did not have the same kind of death but I was tortured by the image of his skeletal body as he had refused to eat for several weeks and his weight plummeted. He weighed about 7 pounds at his best; when he died he weighed 3 pounds. So sad.
I really had to work hard at not constantly thinking of that and of his lifeless body at the vet clinic after euthanasia. When those images would creep in I would say "stop" out loud to myself, I would then force myself to replace that image with him doing something cute, something positive. It did not work right away but I kept at it anyway. Along with the other things I have done to grieve in what I call a healthy way I am in a better place today. We lost our little boy just over 15 weeks ago.

He was the only pet we ever had so I am sorry that I don't have any advice to help with Chomper.perhaps other forum members who have other pets can help with that.

The trauma is witnessing Ace's death is very fresh and your emotions are raw. Take the time that you need to grieve. I think Chomper is mourning too. Here in the forum we all understand what you are going through. No matter how our pets died we all have the challenge of learning to live without them. It is not easy and there is no timetable.

Support groups, counselling, bereavement groups/counsellors, vet clinics are all places you could contact to see what is available in your area.
In my area there is nothing. I live in a very rural setting so I have purchased books for my
Kindle on pet loss and bereavement.
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Buddyluvsmama
Michelle,

I am so very sorry for your loss and this horrible experience.  My Buddy dog was hit and killed 2 weeks ago when my husband accidentally locked him outside our yard.  It has caused an extreme emotional depression that I am sure you are also experiencing.  It has been difficult to do anything but think about all the events leading up to and following his death.  I have started journaling anything I think of that reminds me of him.  Many of those memories brings smiles, but in the end I am usually crying.  My hope is that one day these memories will be a comfort to me which is why I keep remembering.  I can only tell you to try and think of the positive memories as I struggle when I recall that day as it is a negative in every way. I have had many animals in my life time and their deaths have all affected me differently with this being honestly the worst as it is one I have never experienced.  I know in time it will be okay, but for now this is really hard to cope with all these emotions.  It's okay to grieve so don't let anyone tell you different.  I know people in this forum understand so this is a good place to express your feelings.

My prayers are with you.

Kelly
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Lauren2412
Michelle,

I am deeply sorry for your loss, I am also greatly saddened by your story because the same thing happened to me two weeks ago tonight. We let our beautiful 2 and a half year old cat Charlie out to go to the toilet and some inconsiderate arsehole ran him over then drove off. I found him minutes later laying in blood in the middle of the road, dead.

I am now on my 14th day of extreme heartbreak and I will try to advise you as best I can based on this.

You say this happened on Saturday, it's now Monday. Meaning you're on day 2. I imagine you're still in shock. The realisation coming in waves every hour or so. For the first week I felt as though I was living a real life nightmare. I didn't dare close my eyes to sleep because every time I did I would see Charlies face with his eyes wide open and blood pouring from his nose. I tried to get on with things but every time I left the house I would get horrific anxiety and dread, asif there was no point in anything. I think in momemts my brain actually blocked the trauma out because it was too much to process. This was honestly the worst week of my life and I will never forget it.

Something I can promise you is that this does NOT last forever, the shock goes away, and it becomes more of an acceptance. I am still mourning my beloved baby, but I can now look through all the old pictures and videos of him and smile, and talk about all of the funny things he did without them being clouded by the horror of his final moments. Don't get me wrong, it still surfaces when I least expect it, but the only option is to deal with it properly now, and grieve in that moment, or you will never truly get past the event itself.

You have to remember that Ace knew nothing but love and affection through his whole life. Imagine your life consisted of nothing but happiness, for all those years? Although I know more than anybody that being knocked over by a car is not how you wanted him to leave this world, I imagine he didn't suffer. Life can be so cruel sometimes, but we are the ones left behind devastated, he is in a better place now and no more harm can be done to him, that in itself is a blessing.

I pray you have the strength to take each day as it comes, it will get easier.
Loz
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