PeanutsMom
Tonight when I got home from work I came in the door to find that my daughter and husband had shampooed the carpet and to do so had removed all on my sweet girl's toys and bed from the living room.  I am devastated.  I had to grab hold of the hutch when I saw what they had done to keep from falling to my knees.  I had told them repeatedly that I was not ready to put her things away, so I suppose they thought that meant someone else had to do it for me.  It is hard enough for me to get through each day without having her near me and now the living room looks like she was never here. No little tufts of her fur on the carpet, no toys where she left them, no bed for her to sleep in.  A carpet that looks like no dog has ever walked or lay down on it.  Then a little later my daughter says she has been researching dogs online and thinks I should get a Lhasa Apso.  Why don't they get it?  How many times, in how many ways do I have to say I am not ready and am not sure if I ever will be?  I am gutted at what feels like a total disregard for my feelings and I resent them trying to push me into getting a dog so soon.  My Peanut has not even been gone 2 weeks.  How can they not understand how big a part of my life my sweet baby Peanut was?  It's not like she was hidden from them, kept a secret from them.  My daughter was 15 when I got Peanut, and my husband and I hadn't met yet.  I feel that they are trying to rush me through my grief and I just don't know how or if I can make them understand.    
Denise 

My sweet Peanut, you are the sunshine of my life and I will love you forever
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Dalidog
So sorry for your loss and I would have been crazy also.  Has been over 5 weeks for me and I can't put anything up yet.  Sounds like you got Peanut at a very crucial time in your life and forged a "forever" bond as I did with my Dali.  There is no way to rush that grief you feel.  I know I will never get over it.  I am still gathering things and waiting to put together my memorial, just not ready yet.  Two weeks is certainly no time.  There are many things in my home I "can't" change because my baby was on them.  I had planned on a new comforter, but can't bring myself to change the one she slept on.  I have a pillow she slept on that I keep next to my bed and it will be with me forever.  When I get really sad at night because she isn't here, I pick it up and hug it all night.

Don't let them rush you!  I am sure you will know when/if you are ready for another furbaby.  I have been asked many times if I am going to get another dog.  You can't replace your baby and personally I don't think I could love another.  It wouldn't be fair to another baby to be always compared.  I find other ways to honor my baby like donating to shelters for babies without forever homes.  My Dali is (I don't use past tense, she is still here in my heart and mind) a Lhasa Apso and a wonderful companion.  Don't rush...you may never be ready.  I KNOW I will never have another one, forever would be too soon.

Your family was trying to help, but they didn't understand.  So sorry

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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PeanutsMom
Thank you for your support and understanding.  I want to think my family is trying to make things better for me by doing the things they know I can not bring myself to do, but gosh it just hurts too much.  Sunday evening when my daughter had pizza delivered she said it didn't feel right because there was no Peanut to bark at the delivery guy.  She, and my two grandchildren, noticed during their visit how the house feels different because my Peanut girl isn't here.  They haven't had to experience the loss daily.  They know nothing of the loneliness as they still have their two pups.  I think there will probably come a time when I will be ready to bring another fur baby into my life as there are so many waiting in shelters to find a family.  But not now, the loss of my sweet baby Peanut is still fresh, the pain is too intense.
Denise 

My sweet Peanut, you are the sunshine of my life and I will love you forever
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Leahbeahis
I've found that people lack an understanding of how to be supportive when their loved one is coping with a loss. It's hard when it seems that others whose lives she touched don't seem to be as affected by her loss. I totally get it. I have not moved my baby's bed or her one of her favorite toys. I even sleep with one in place of her. Those little dog hairs that get everywhere are a reminder that she was there recently, and it's very difficult to remove those things because in a sense it seems like you're "moving on". But we don't want to move on, we want to rewind time, or at least freeze it so we can process our shock and grief. Buying another dog is for some but not for others. Personally, I don't think I'll ever want another dog. It's too sad, and no dog could ever replace your baby. It's unfortunate that people don't get it but don't let anyone tell you how to feel. Your grief and your emotions are valid, no matter how intense or long-lasting they are. There is no time limit to grieving. I'm so sorry you lost your baby, Peanut. I hope dogs really do go to Heaven and that they are waiting to greet us once again.
~ Leah
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PeanutsMom
Thank you for your kind words.  I agree, those who were not as close to her as I was just do not understand the intensity of my feelings.  Peanut was My baby girl, from the day I got her to the day I had to let her go.  She will always be my baby girl. She was my confidante, and my best friend.  I have not touched her beds upstairs, and don't know when I might be able to. It will be 3 weeks tomorrow (Wednesday) that I lost here and yet it still feels new and the pain is so raw.  I very much appreciate this site and the understanding of all who have lost their fur baby, it has helped me to know that I am not alone in my feelings.   
Denise 

My sweet Peanut, you are the sunshine of my life and I will love you forever
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Dalidog
I hope you are coping okay.  Those of us who were so close to a pet like that understand.  I have had many pets all my life, but none affected me the way losing my Dali has.  I would never want another dog, it would not be the same in any way.  It would be like the other pets I had.  I loved them all, but Dali was special...she is my baby Girl always.  Give yourself all the time you need.  Three weeks is not long at all.  Has been over 6 for me and the grief is still as raw and the loneliness only gets worse as I miss her more and more.  I put up a bathroom rug I had recently bought because Dali had laid on it and I didn't want to ever wash it.  Might sound stupid, but it is like she is still on it.    Tomorrow (Wednesday) is a sad benchmark of time since your Peanut was with you..  My prayers are with you, I know how hard each benchmark is.  I found that writing to my Dali helped and putting notes on helium balloons and releasing them was somehow comforting.  I watched them disappear in the sky as if to go to my baby.  They say time heals all things, but I'm  sure I will forever have this hole in my heart.  We just have to be thankful for the time we were allowed to have that unconditional love.  We will see them again....

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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PeanutsMom
Thank you for your kind words.  From reading your posts it seems as though you had much the same relationship with your Dali as I had with my Peanut.  Throughout my life I have had many pets, but none for as long as I had my sweet baby Peanut. I got her at a time when I was newly separated from my first husband and my children were in their mid teens.  It was love at first sight with her.  She was so tiny, with big brown eyes and a tail shaped like a lightening bolt.  She was never more than 6 feet away from where I was.  She loved to lead the way for me, to the bathroom, the bedroom, the kitchen. When I was at work she would wait by the door for me.  That is one of the things I find hardest, coming home.  I still open the door very slowly so as not to hit her and I expect her to be there to greet me.  I have her collar on my desk, there are a few small tufts of her fur attached to it.  I find myself petting her collar, gently rubbing my finger over those soft tufts of fur. Not yet 3 weeks but yet there are times when it feels like minutes ago, the pain is still fresh.  The loneliness is overwhelming at times.  And it is at those times when I think maybe my family is right and I need a fur baby to help me through it.  I fully understand that there can never be another fur baby like my Peanut girl, the bond we shared was a once in a lifetime thing that can never be duplicated.  Just as she can never be replaced.  I cope day by day with the hope that it will get easier to live without her, though I don't see how that is possible.  I know I will never forget her and I will love her forever.  I also know that there will be a time when we will be reunited with our fur babies and that knowledge brings me a fleeting moment of peace.   
Denise 

My sweet Peanut, you are the sunshine of my life and I will love you forever
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