AnnieBirdseed

Everything in my entire life has gotten really bad since my Purrfect died.  It's like his death unlocked a door
and let the bad luck in.  I got diagnosed with diabetes and my beloved husband of thirty two years had to have a lesion removed from his vocal chords and tested for cancer and then he was unable to urinate and had to have a catheter put in.  My other kitty misses Purrfect and is not acting like herself.  She gets on my bed
and cries a few times before settling down.  She has never done this before.  I don't know if it's because she misses him or just what is going on.  There's a bunch of other problems I won't go into but it's all so negative and not good.  I always had this feeling that as long as Purrfect was okay, we were okay.  Now he's gone and
everything has gotten so dark and dismal.  There is so much pain everywhere and I'm trying to be considerate
and strong for my husband but I'm afraid I'm not doing very well at it.  I'm sorry for being all doom and gloom.  But life without my beautiful boy is not so nice anymore.

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Mollysdad
I'm sorry. I understand the pain of the loss. You can't really describe it. I'm sorry for yours and your husbands illness. I hope and pray the best for you both. God bless and help you and everyone on this website. Help us all do the right things in our lives and help us help all the animals in our lives, and those that may need help in the future.
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AnnieBirdseed
Hi Molly's Dad.  I just read about Molly.  What a story of love.  I thought Annie was a cat but I am guessing now that she's a dog.  Is the vet treating her for this fungal infection?
Is there possibly anything you could do to support her in the meantime while waiting for the test results?  Maybe something homeopathic?  You sound like such a wonderful and
giving person.  I pray our Lord will bless your Annie with healing.  Thank you for praying for my Purrfect's soul.  He was a rescue cat and got soooo fat.  No matter what I did, he
just blew up even though he ate the same amount of food his skinny sister Purrl eats.  He weighed twenty four pounds when he died.  He was a prisoner in that heaviness and could
no longer jump or get around so easily as when he was thin.  But he had irritable bowel syndrome and whenever his tummy was empty, it hurt him and he begged for food and I
tried not to give him too much but even so, like I said, he just blew up very big.  He slept right on top of my chest every night and would purr like a motorboat and would vibrate my
whole body with his.  What a way to sleep.  Surrounded by the gentle love of a beautiful animal.  I believe what Misty's mama says - that love never goes away but stays in your
heart forever.  I look at my Purrfect's pictures which I have almost everywhere and I tell him over and over that "I will always love you and I will never forget you."  I mean it and
I know he feels it wherever he is.   Sometimes I wake up feeling like he was just here and I believe he was.  I believe he comes to visit in gentle dreams.  Anyway, again, I do pray that our Lord WILL breathe the breath of life into Annie and blow air fresh and clean into her lungs and through every part of her and make her well again. 
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smkovalinsky
I know how you feel about the death of the beloved pet letting bad luck in:  I have felt similar since my dog died (a slew of major and minor problems,  all very negative and some really dreadful)  as though he was a guardian angel or something,  and his absence has let in the demons.  Ask your Purrfect to watch over you,  your husband,  and your critters.
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AnnieBirdseed
Thank you smkovalinsky for your kind words.  I find myself always wishing it was last year or six months ago or four years ago - just anytime when my boy was still here.  Of course, I would never want him to have to suffer through death again but if that wasn't part of it, I do wish we could spend a little more time together.  I feel Purrfect sometimes but not as much
lately, that is, as time passes, I'm losing him a little bit.  I don't want to.   Would you believe I actually went out and bought a box of the grooming wipes I used to use to clean his butt
when he got soiled?  Well, I did and I have one of them on my pillow and at night, I can smell it and it feels like he's here.  I loved that cat with all my heart but looking back, I don't think I loved him nearly enough.  Isn't that always the way?  I would sometimes be impatient with his demands for my attention, like at night when he'd lie on my chest, he would deliberately stick his little head in the way so I couldn't see the television LOLOL.  He wanted me to look at him and listen to him.  And I did actually start to do that.  I think I knew our time together was growing shorter.  I started turning off the television and just listening to him purr.  I would do almost anything to be able to sleep together again with my perfect little fella.  His daddy also loved him almost as much as me.  He also misses him terribly although he doesn't express it like I do.  But I know it's there, the pain, as it's in his eyes.  Very very hard to grieve.  I'm not sure if there's anything else as painful.  Being lovesick comes pretty close but not quite.  Anyway, I always try and remember what Misty's Mama says.  "Hold on to the love.  It's all you have or ever will have to find your way home."   It brings me a lot of comfort to say that.  I hope it helps you also.
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