My Sweet Little Peanut,
I lost you my little one on Christmas Eve. A day that should have been full of celebration.

You are never forgotten. The reality of you not being here has been the hardest for me to deal with. I cherish every moment with your brothers.  Life is so short.

I want you to know that I gave you a voice.  It was time for you to be heard.   Your message was strong and straightforward.  The letter was brought to that vet's office by me, in person.  I remember him telling me, "It happens" when he called that horrible day. He didn't have the decency to call me when trouble arose.  He waited until you were already gone.  He had nothing else to say. He knew he was wrong and later I found out he was full of lies. That's okay, because  karma is a powerful thing.

I wish you were here instead.  It's difficult to look at your picture. I LOVE YOU. You will have a voice again on your birthday.

Remember me?  You should.        
Parker picture 12-24-19 letter.png 

I was in your care, but not for long before you went home, feasted, and celebrated Christmas Eve, Christmas, and then the New Year.  I’ll bet you celebrated as if everything was copacetic while I laid in your morgue in a plastic bag. 

I had two brief visits there and on the third, you managed to silence me forever. The total of the three visits was only a few hours.  I was the sunshine with infinite energy in my home, and I was so young. My brothers lost their best friend. My Mom blamed herself for bringing me there.  It’s not her fault.  It was you or your tech to last see me alive and did not save me, you know, allowed me to die. 

My family’s holidays were destroyed.  I’m sure you know why.  You can’t forget so easily. Their holidays are ruined this year, too, for the same reason.  My parents still grieve.  So do my brothers.  I’ll bet you’ll be celebrating your holidays this year, just like last, like nothing happened.  Enjoy yourself just as you did last year. 

I won’t see you up here where I am.  Most make it up here, but some wind up somewhere else, you know, "It happens."

Remember me.  I may visit you in your dreams. 

From Heaven,


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I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm in tears reading this letter <3
I had to put my cat to sleep, 2 weeks ago, she was an 11 years old rescued cat, she was desperate to find a home, love, when i moved in my apartment, she's been abandoned by a couple who moved out and left her behind and no-one in the building wanted her.So she chose me and I chose her, but we only had 4 and a half years of happiness together, until she got sick for the first time, 5 months ago...What she had was not curable, and she hanged on more than she could, for me i'm sure...
This was the most sad and traumatizing day of my life, and i've been through a lot in my life believe me :-( 
I saw 3 vets, and the last one who took care of her on her last day, was the only one who seemed affected and to care.I tell myself i was lucky to be with her until the very end, but still, i can't accept she's gone, i miss her so much and her brother and sister miss her too.She was my sunshine, the reason for me to wake up and hold on to life when i didn't want to anymore.
I'm deeply sorry your precious Parker didn't have the chance to be between " good hands", and like you said, karma will take care of this, and it's not your fault, not at all.
I kiss my baby's ashes goodnight every night and cry my eyes out, nothing's the same, there's so much emptiness.
I'm sending love and strength to you, I know how much it hurts and so many people don't get it as well...
I'm here if anyone wants/needs to talk, share, vent, my English is not perfect ( i'm from France), but my heart is broken for all of us who lost our beloved family member, friend, unconditional love...Maybe time will make good memories overcome pain, but for now, it's hell.
Please take care of yourself, Parker, my Casper and all those little angels are for sure in a better place, waiting for us and watching over us.
Hug xoxo
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What a beautiful picture and caption
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My Loving Little Parker,

I am so, so sorry. I can't let it go that I feel partly to blame for you not being here. I think about you all day, everyday. I called your brother by your name by mistake, and I broke down.

I miss you so much. I will write you again, very soon.

I just needed to let you know that I have not forgotten you. I yearn to hold you and receive your big kisses. Your brothers are the only reason I keep going. They need me and I need them, too. I loved you all the same, but I miss you immensely.

It's one day at a time for me. I wish I knew for sure if we would be together again. It would give me some relief.



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I haven't been writing as much as I'd like.  It hurts so much to write because it is the reality you are not here, next to me. 

I cannot seem to accept you are gone.  I'm sorry I have not been able to view your ashes in the cabinet. They are in the box in a bag. I cannot open the cabinet. I wonder sometimes if I see it, will it ease my pain and allow me to accept it, or will it make me feel worse. I haven't set up a tribute to you yet. Is that wrong?  I have a hard time viewing your pictures. I don't know how I uploaded the few pictures on this forum.  

The pain of losing you is still intense for me.  I have sudden crying outbursts, of course when I am alone. I don't show my sadness around others. I try not to upset your brothers. I think they worry about me when I cry.  I remember how close you were with them.  There were times when Porter didn't feel well and went into his crate. You would stand outside the crate looking at him. Sometimes you would go in with him and lie next to him.  You were so caring. Always worried about everyone else. Like you were human.  I wish our pets could talk. Just think how much we could know and help get you better if you told us how you felt.  We would have so much more time with you.  You would have told me so much that day. I know "please" would have been asked over and over. You would have pleaded with me to stay home.  I know I would have listened. I should have listened to my heart. My heart told me you should have stayed, but I let myself down, and of course I let you down. 

Parker, how am I going to get through this?  It's been 14 months and I still feel my loss.  Everyday. I called Leroy by your name the other day, and I broke down. It was when I dressed them to go outside. It's always the time I notice your absence more.  You were were always the first one and you were always done so fast. You had no issues with anything. There was nothing wrong with you.  You were only missing a voice to talk to me.  I am your voice now. I taking care of it. I hope your voice is heard. It means a lot to me and to help save others.  I'm hoping for the best so you can rest peacefully.

There are advantages of being old.  I get a senior discount at the movies and supermarket.  Other discounts. I lived through a generation I would never trade. Wisdom. Most of all, each day I get closer to Rainbow Bridge.  I want to be healthy for your brothers, but I know the day will come when I will grieve again, and again.  I dread it, but after that, maybe my time will come when I can be with all of you, and Max, my first dog decades ago. 

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.  I can't believe any of this has happened, but I see on the forum that people suffer losses every day.  Like many others, I feel I can't believe this has happened.  It never seems real, but it is.




"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."

~  Will Rogers


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