Radar was the first dog I have ever owned. He was a chi mix, and I adopted him when he was 1.5 years old, my husband and I euthanized him on Sunday (today is Tuesday) at 15.5 years of age. He'd be surrendered by his owners and though he'd been at the shelter for several weeks, he was only up for adoption for 1 hour when we met. I was terrified and clueless when I brought him home. I live in a city and the city noises unnerved him for several months and he drove me crazy with his constant need for attention. Slowly he settled in and I found him an amazing dog walker and he went to the beach every day while I was at work. He was happy and healthy until earlier this year. My husband and I went to visit his family in another country and before we left he had started peeing in the house on occasion and recently his dog walker said he howled when she left him at her place (though he was comfortable there) and we didn't really understand why. When we returned from our trip he was lifting his back legs when he walked so we took him to a vet who said he had a lesion in his cerebellum which was causing him to "goose step." He continued to pee more in the house and we laid down pee pads which he used (mostly) and cleaned up his messes. He didn't even noticed when he peed in the house and was starting to drag his hind legs when tired and began circling the house in the PM and slept a lot during the day and became active at 8PM. He had doggie dementia. Just as we were thinking it was his time to leave us he got physically sick, lethargic and wasn't eating- so we knew it was time. We had him put down at home, and it was peaceful and calm. I'm now devastated and trying to return to normal life and find it hard, but try to give myself space and time to grieve. I keep expecting to see him and our home feels empty. My love for him is so huge, I just can't believe he is gone, but I know he is, I just haven't integrated it fully. Thank you for listening. He was a good boy, and I feel confident that I gave him a great life, but I feel so sad that I get confused sometimes- did I really give him a great life? It's very upsetting.
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I am very sorry for your loss of your sweet Radar.  I can tell from your words that he was very much loved and had a wonderful life with you. It is so hard at first when we expect to see and hear our beloved pets only to realize that they are gone. I hope in time that happy memories of Radar bring you comfort.

My condolences,
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I'm sorry for your incredible loss, 15 yrs together is a job well done fur-mama. Not only did you rescue your pup but you provided a good long life.

I recently said good bye the same way (at home) with my 13 yr old boy, it is devastating. I totally understand the "confusion" you mention - one moment I'm rhyming off the reasons why I did right by my boy in the end and the next I've convinced myself I'm a horrible person who made terrible decisions. Thats the guilt trying to protect you from your intense grief/loss. I personally call it the fog, I've been living in it for just over 3 weeks. Some days it slightly lifts and others it's so thick I can't breathe. xx

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I'm so very sorry for the loss of your sweet boy, Radar. (and all losses here) I relate so much as my baby chi mix was 15 and I got him as a puppy and he was my first pup and love.  I always thought I gave him a very good life (best I thought at time), and people would tell me he (and my other rescue pup) live like kings, but I truly feel I failed him the last 6 months of his life when he needed me most.  I cannot get out of my head about this day after day.  They totally change our lives for the better and when they're gone - it's the most unnatural feeling. I'm with you on can't breathing grievingmomma - and so sorry for your loss.  

Renee - you gave Radar a great life - he got to go to the beach everyday. ❤

Hugs to all XOX 

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Renee, I’m sorry for your loss.  You both did a wonderful thing and have him a great life rescuing him from the shelter.  You gave him so many years but it is never long enough.  You did the right thing but I will say it is the most difficult  decision a pet owner can ever make. When we had to do the same for our boxer, I kept rethinking over and over again her final moments, it’s hard.  Hugs to you ~~~~
Linda *Mom to two boxer angels* Lily {White Girl} 6/22/09 - 10/14/19  ** Ginger {Flashy Fawn Girl} 6/4/97 - 5/28/09
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You loved him and he knew that...and yes you did give him a great life.

Ellen x
Ellen Hague
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