ChelseaG16 Show full post »
ChelseaG16
MyLenny,
I'm amazed that 3 years later I still receive emails to update me on this feed. Please feel free to email me at TopRider16@aol.com. I am here for you and know the pain you are suffering. It's like no other. Let's talk
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Gertie
You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.
But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.
So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.
The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.
That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.
Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.
You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.
So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.
Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.
And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.
I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again.
 I was reading your post and thinking of you. I hope you find peace in your decision. Know your baby is safe and whole again. I choose to put my little Duncan to sleep after 9 years of Vets treating him and not knowing what was wrong. The guilt was so over whelming. 4 years later I know I made the right decision. Duncan is at peace and he knows how much I loved him. He too became  some what agressive because of steroids he was on. Sometimes letting our beautiful babies go is the greatist gift we give them.

You are in my thoughts.

Duncan's Mom.x




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Dhaight71
I'm sure you won't see this as the post is so old. But I needed to respond. I just had to put my dog to sleep and I'm devastated.

Coco was my best friend was seven years.

She was always a bit anxious. But awesome. It wasn't until she was a little older that her aggression started. She attacked the other animals in the house. She guarded her toys, bags on the floor, etc

It was all fairly manageable. At least I thought so because I loved her so much.

But my wife and I had a baby and we were both concerned.

We got a behaviorist, put her on meds. Everything. It worked well enough until my baby started crawling. Then coco was anxious even more. Tense. She seemed not just jealous. But unhappy. I tried to keep them separated but it was horrible. We were all worried and tense all the time.

Eventually she growled and snapped at the baby and that was it. I agonized for days but today I put her down. I've been sobbing all day. Feeling. Guilty. Like I betrayed her. And I miss her so much already.

But your post did help.

I hope you can all respond and tell me I did the right thing. Thank you
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Gertie
I am so sorry for your loss. I understand your pain. You did the right thing for your family.
Putting a pet to sleep is a huge decision and one you did not make without thinking it through.
Just remember Coco is in a better place, she is at peace.

I promise to write to you later. Hold on to the memories. 

Gertie.
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Dhaight71
The house was so quiet today. Coco not jumping up and down and barking to eat. Coming into the bathroom and stealing my socks. Excited to go outside. I am so broken.  
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ChelseaG16
I’m writing you a message now. I’m glad that this thread is still up and people can still read it and relate. It’s an absolutely horrible thing to have to go through.
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Gertie
Hi There,

I am writing as promised. I do know that horrible pain and guilt you are feeling. I have no words to comfort you, time will ease the pain a little but the love lives on.
I think if you post a photo of Coco and write to her here.
Tell her how you are feeling. She is still with you, watching over you.

I wrote many times about my little Duncan. Like you I was beyond heartbroken after I put him to sleep. You can go back and read my posts.
Just know in life we have to make decisions that are difficult. If Coco had hurt your baby, how awful that would have been. She is at peace now.
Hold on to the love and in time you will smile again.
Sending a hug your way,

Duncans's Mom.
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Dhaight71
Thank you very much. 
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ericavoss
It’s like I’m reading my own story. So many similarities with everything you’re saying. One month ago I made the hardest decision of my life - to euthanize my little baby boy, Kyrie. Sometimes the grief is so overwhelming, I don’t think it’ll ever get easier. Like you described, my whole life revolved around him especially because of the behavioral issues we dealt with. I feel like no one else quite understands what I’m going through and therefore cannot be openly sad about the loss. Even the thought of going for a walk has me in tears. I fear I’ll never recover from this grief and the guilt of this decision. I see this post was from 2014. How have you moved on since then?
Erica Voss
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Annesmimi
I can’t imagine how horrific that decision was for you. I’m so very sorry!!! The decision to euthanize is never easy but for this reason I think is so completely heartbreaking. I feel for you and the grief you are feeling. Hugs to you and hope you find some comfort on this site and continue to reach out to those you relate to what an unbelievably difficult decision you had to make!! 
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Dhaight71
I still think about Coco all the time and it's been two years. 
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white
Hello Chelsea, 

My name is also Chelsea, my rescue pittmix killed my !4 year old cat in my home on Tuesday.. just like your boy we had done a lot of rehab with her over the 6 years she's been with us.  and she seemed fine, she seemed in control. also super obedient and sweet. slept with the cats on the bed every night. I don't know what happed or why it happened.. we never will. my heart is shattered and I can feel your pain inside my own heart. I still love my girl, and I miss my cat. she was my first pet, I adopted her when I was 19.. I'm angry and I feel like a failure. Life moving forward will be difficult, learning how to forgive her, learning how and when to trust her or not..  I can see that this was some time ago but this kind of pain never really goes away
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ChelseaG16

Dear Erica and “White”,
   It’s amazing and touching to me that here 6 years later this thread is still going and affecting/helping me and others. Erica I am heartbroken for you. I know this pain and the first several months are AWFUL. There’s nothing like it. You need to validate how hard this is and not just “go back to life” as society tells us to. Grieve, take time off work (if you are still working with the virus and everything), journal, go through forums like this, pour over pictures, cry until you can’t anymore. It’s important. 
   Now that I’ve “survived” this, I can say from experience it most certainly will get easier, but it will be a long time. I still think about Utah everyday, I still question if I did the right thing, I still miss him terribly. Old pictures will come up on time hop or I’ll see a dog that looks like him and it’s a stab to my heart. The pain will never go away, but you will become accustomed to it. Like a scar on your soul, it becomes part of you and shapes your identity.  I have gotten to the point now that I know I made the right choice and I had to do this for the safety of the rest of my pack. My number one love of a lifetime dog Oscar was threatened and bitten by Utah more than once. He lived out a wonderful life and we peacefully euthanized him in our home at the age of almost 16 in 2018. I don’t know if that would have happened had I tried to keep Utah. Had something happened to him or one of my other dogs I would have never forgiven myself. Feel free to message me anytime to talk, it’s important to have someone who understands this right now. 

  For White, I also have another story that relates to yours although not nearly as painful. About two years after Utah died, we had adopted another dog named Grommet, so we had 4 dogs again for the first time since Utah. My father had to go away for an extended period of time quite unexpectedly and left me in charge of his estate, which included a 22 year old cat named Minnie that he had since I was a child. I love all animals but I have never as an adult owned cats, just dogs and horses. So of course I loved Minnie but didn’t have attachment that you did with your baby. My dogs are also not accustomed to living with cats, so I was extremely vigilant with them for a long time. It was just the same as you, the dogs never had an issue with her,  never even batted an eye at her or really even acknowledged that she was there. Almost a year went by and one day I came home from errands to find that Grommet and Oscar had killed Minnie ( I know this because the other two were crated). It was absolutely horrific. Judging by lots of scratches in the wood flooring and plants turned over I think that something happened to instigate a chase, and when that happens with two pit bulls it never ends well  And a poor elderly cat doesn’t really stand a chance. I felt and still feel HORRIBLE, but when there’s never been an incident how could you have known one was coming? Are you considering putting your dog down? I am so sorry, I know you must feel devastated and also angry at your dog. It’s a terrible toxic mix of emotions. I know a lot of people successfully have dogs and cats together, but after that experience I never would, especially with pits. It was so traumatizing to me that I wouldn’t ever risk it again, and I think there are times when a switch flips in their brain and cats become prey animals which sadly in the food chain they are. Please feel free to message me if you need to talk. I’m so so terribly sorry 

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ChelseaG16
Sorry I am so daft I called you White when you clearly said your name is Chelsea! 
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white
Chelsea White is my name but I don't know how my username just became White.. I've been pretty distraught. I do have another cat and she for sure won't be alone with any other animals without supervision. I can't put her down.. I just can't. I have full control of her when im with her but its gonna be hard now. she can't stay with babysitters and im pretty sure my family won't except her any more.. just trying to take it one day at a time
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