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BoboKitty

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Reply with quote  #1 
I lost my sweet boy Drogo suddenly Friday morning. He was home recovering from a urinary tract blockage. Thursday night I had come home from work (close to midnight) to find him critical, no vet in my area open until 9am. It was a long, sleepless, night comforting him. Loving him. Deep down I knew he wouldn't make it until morning, and he passed away in my arms not an hour before the vet opened. It's been 3 days without my bobo kitty and my heart aches for him. I have no children and my cats are my babies. He was my shadow for 6 years. He always greeted me when I came home from work, followed me while I puttered around the house. If I didn't let him in the washroom with me he would howl as if the whole world was crashing down. I have always been very introverted and he was my rock. The only companionship I ever needed. The best tissue for the worst panic attacks, and the best sedative for sleepless nights. I find myself wandering around my apartment lost with the empty silence. Guilty that I was at work, unable to get him to the vet sooner.
The sadness is overwhelming when I am alone but when my significant other tries to comfort me I get angry that he's around. Like I want to be left alone but I don't. It's hard to explain. He brings me comfort and discomfort at the same time because he's trying to make me feel better but part of me doesn't want to feel better. He has only been in my Drogo's life for 2 1/2 years and I don't think he's feeling what I'm feeling. Part of me feels silly for grieving so hard. I'm so glad I have found this forum, I'm starting to not feel so alone with my grief. For that I have to thank you all.

Xx - Ash

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xxcesarxx

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Reply with quote  #2 
RIP
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Andee

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Reply with quote  #3 
What a sweet kitty! So sorry for your loss. Glad that you have found this site, we understand your grief and sorrow. Hugs 🤗!
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Jcunnane

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Reply with quote  #4 
Dear Ash,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy Drogo. He sounds like such a sweet sweet boy who was not only a kitty but so much unconditional love and your heart and soul. 

I, too, have lost my sweet Bubby (real name Milo), who would have been 10 this July, last Thursday. He like Drogo, had many issues with his kidneys and had a urinary tract blockage back in 2017 that required bladder stone surgery. We had to make the final decision to help him over to the Rainbow Bridge but in the end his kidneys were at the end stage of Chronic Kidney Disease and in renal failure.

The pain is unbearable and life is hard to keep going. I would have done anything for Bubby. I would have given him my kidney right then and there. Like Drogo, Bubby was my anxiety medication, he was my cure for sleepless nights. I would lay my head on his belly and have the best sleep ever. 

As with so many on this site, we feel your pain. We feel the emptiness you feel, the unbearable weight on our chests, the massive amounts of guilt and what ifs, the endless tears. These are our babies and never feel sorry for the way you feel. It just shows how deeply you care and love Drogo.

Bubby would also follow me around, be the best coworker I could have ever asked for, sit outside the bathroom door if it was closed (I had to keep it open most times), greet me at the front door every time I came home. The house now feels empty. We have his littermate, Lola, so we're making sure she's ok. 

You're with some great people who know exactly what you're going through. Don't be afraid to reach out. 

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Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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BlairS

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Reply with quote  #5 
I'm very sorry for your loss as well.  It's almost three months now since I lost my best buddy.  She also helped me through some tough times and not having her here anymore still feels like my heart has been ripped out.  Hang in there and know there are many others here who feel the same as you do.  Wishing you strength in the coming days and weeks.

Blair
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BoboKitty

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Reply with quote  #6 
Thank you all so much for your kind words. You're a wonderful community of people I'm so glad to have found. I find comfort in reading about your furry companions.
Today is my first day back to work.. I work in customer service. It's going to be along day.. wish me luck...
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #7 


Dear Ash,

Ohhhhh! Drogo was wonderful!! What an awesome looking cat. I used to call that pose Drogo is doing in the photo: "The Pineapple Upside Down Cake" whenever my cat "Marmalade" (an orange & white Tabby) would do it. I would smile whenever he would nap or rest like that. It is part of what first endeared me to him, when our paths crossed in the high desert of New Mexico where we met and I adopted him.

He was a stray. A scrawny, starving, dehydrated, infected, orphan, experiencing chronic pain & suffering, and yet he would lay in the dust, dirt or gravel and strike that endearing Pineapple Upside Down Cake pose. He was grateful to nap on a sunny day in the shade. So silly was my tiger-man!

His first Vet thought that he was around 10 years old ( 3 years ago, due to his bad teeth.) Sadly I had to put him down just over 4 weeks ago yesterday. : *** (

He too (like so your Drogo) (and so many others here) was my World. He was the light in my life. My son, my brother, my comrade in arms, my only friend, my best friend, my amigo, my love, my company & my only remaining (trustworthy) family member. We were members of a Secret Mutual Admiration Society he and I. We didn't need anyone else. That was just the way we liked it, like you and your beloved Drogo.

He used to sit on my lap getting brushed (like a little girl getting her hair brushed), in front of our rickety heater and he would turn around and give me these looks of ultimate contentment. As if to say:

"Can you BELIEVE THIS? Here we are alone together, with full belly's and full hearts, in a safe place. This is the BEST!"

And I would respond to him:

"THIS is our time together, one of us may be gone someday, perhaps both of us. But RIGHT NOW - THIS IS OUR TIME. And we are grateful and we are blessed."

All of us posting here on this forum are all so fortunate & blessed that each of our paths crossed with entities that we loved so greatly. Truly miraculous. To have known love in such a rare and powerful form. Those who do not understand have sadly never experienced love that is so profound and memorable. Which is THERE loss. 

People were talking to me all weekend, and I would pretend to be engaged, but all I could think about was my losing Marmalade. Of how much I miss him. And want him back. But I dare not let them know. I've got to hide my pain & grief as they simply don't understand.

I hope you continue to travel through time, are gentle with yourself and continue to heal. Hour by hour, day by day. Soon you will predominantly remember all of the good memories, such as Drogo doing the PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN CAKE!



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zahavah

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Reply with quote  #8 
You are not alone, I literally feel the same way. My Poe was my shadow, my child, my favorite thing on the planet.. and he was taken from me so suddenly after only having each other for 1.5 years. I am angry and devastated, he was the first thing I saw when I woke up, and he was waiting for me at the door when I came home from work. Any where I walked he was right there, if I sat down, he would sit next to me. I couldn't even do a yoga class on TV because Poe wouldn't get off the matt hehe. Please know that time will make it easier, and you have memories to cherish forever. Hugs
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TheJackal300

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Reply with quote  #9 
I am sorry to hear about your boy Drogo, he looks so sweet in the picture you showed of him. You shouldn't feel guilty, he knows you did all you could do. It is not silly to grieve that hard, because he is such an impact on your life. You are NOT alone.
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Phxkat

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Reply with quote  #10 
I’m so sorry for your loss. He sounded like my Miso. He needed my attention whenever I was with him. If I didn’t scratch his shoulders long enough and started to walk away he’d swipe me with his paw as if to say hey where are you going?! Give me more! Ha! He made me laugh so much. I’m pretty introverted myself and have anxiety issues and he gave me companionship and love that not many have been able to give. I felt like he understood me. Sometimes the guilt I feel about ending his life is overwhelming. But he was sick and his age was against him. I have to appreciate the 18 years he gave me. And I didn’t want him to suffer. He was already getting fluids intravenously on a special diet and meds that did not agree with him. It hurt to have to put him through that. It’s only been three days since he left me. I’m beginning to construct a little memorial over the spot where he’s buried out side my bedroom window. Where he will always be close to me. Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you comfort in your time of grief. Hugs.

Steve

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