Heartbroken73
I miss you Jazz its been so hard to just try to get on with mundane tasks and even smile..you always made me smile and feel joy just by your presence and happiness to be a part of my life and routine..now everything seems so lonely and nothing seems vibrant and steady anymore..the calm is gone and as the hurt of losing you sets in everything seems alot colder and uncertain..i want you to know I didn't give up you I carry you everywhere..Im reminded everyday when your greetings are no longer there and those watchful loving eyes aren't in places I expect them to be..I am so sorry to say goodbye nothing hurts me more then losing you so unexpectedly so sudden so tragic..I always protected you and what you brought to me and I want you to know that I was protecting you by giving you a mercy that now my heart doesn't have for the decision I made..you always did what I asked and I knew you had the fight will and love to carry on but I didn't want to see you do it for me even just a little bit and I was sure there would be at least some moments that you would have too..I loss a piece of me losing you and as I hear the stories of survivors of such a horrific disease and fight it will always bring me doubt I did the right thing.. Every missing I feel and question why I made that choice during such a traumatic time..I just felt you we're tired and been through enough and  I couldn't ask any more of you and if I did I would be the one wanting and I couldnt risk seeing you fight with all that could go wrong and the rough road ahead.. Please know it wasn't what I wanted I would of took one more walk or another day and I would fight the world for that but it wasn't me who would be doing the fighting and I couldnt ask any more from you for me.. You were perfect and I am struggling everyday not having that in my life everyday and I just want you to know that I miss you big guy and daddy loves you  
George king
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Buddy_Mama
I feel all of this too, George. This experience is so, so hard. I have no advice, other than I hope you’re finding some comfort sharing your pain here with others who truly understand. Hugs...
Cindy (Buddy’s mama)
My baby Buddy 5/4/10-3/7/20, rescued March 2011
My sweet Mandy 11/27/91-11/2/10, rescued November 1992
My beautiful Barney 4/28/73-9/7/92, adopted May 1973
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