Rinalittle
My little darling had his life taken from him a week ago. He was 10 months old. He was hit by a car and survived but ran off and hid in someones back yard for 13 hours till we found him, i took him to the after hours vet where they said he had air and brusing in his lungs and did not think she could maintain him. So we put him to sleep.

My question is, did i do the right thing? What if he could of survived if i waited till morning to see his usual vet? What if i ended his life and he hates me for it?

Ive been reading all these stories about how peoples pets have visited them in their dreams and left them signs but i havent dreamt of lush yet? Does he hate me for what i did to him?
I love him with every inch of me. More than he or anyone could imagine. He meant the world to me he still does i hate not hearing his little bell around the house or seeing his food bowls empty where he would eat i hate it. I would give anything to see him again. I hope he knows that. I hope he knows that i love him and miss him like crazy and im so heart broken at the fact his life was taken from him.

Did i make a mistake could he still be here it it wasnt for me?
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Wileykitten
rina.... please don't do this to urself. U are struggling enough without second guessing. Lush was probably in pain and couldn't breathe well. If u had waited til morning he may not have made it and that would have been a very painful way to go... he knows u love him because u were able to end his pain and suffering and he knows because of the life u gave him and all the love that went into that difficult choice. He is not angry w u I promise. He is whole and healthy and cant wait to see u again. One day u will be reunited but for now he wants his mom smiling about the time they had together and sweet snuggles and kitten kisses... u will have that again for eternity I promise u xoxo please be kind to urself. We all second guess our decision but we did it for them because we love them.... and yes, sweet angel, Lush knows that.
He will visit when hes ready, when u least expect it... not because hes angry, hes just exploring heaven... but he knows exactly where u are at all times and he will never leave u. EVER.

((((HUGS))), Stacie
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Rinalittle
I know i keep telling myself that. But i miss him so much that i cang forgive myself even i got up earlier that morning i wouldve called out to him and he would of came running and still be here. I know i shouldbt think its my fault. I just want him to know i love him and i hope hes happy and healthy. I hope i seem him again when its my time to go. I used to be scared of dying and now that hes in heaven im not anymore bc i know hel be there
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Wileykitten
u sound like me xo what if and should I have... if only. These are questions that will always fill our heads, rina. Everyday I cry so hard over my Wiley asking the same things over and over. I just want him back and this depression is killing me I don't know how to go on or even who I am anymore. I look at his picture and think why didn't I take him to the specialist sooner? Then my heart says because u throught was sinus infection... everyone did. I say it was so rushed I wasn't thinking then my heart says it was rushed so dr Arnold could assess him before they closed u didnt want him dying painfully alone or find he had. So many questions, rina... we all doubt ourselves when we "play God" w our pets. But we need to remember we didnt see our healthy cats and say "I.don't want him anymore put him down" or "he's a bad cat put him down" or worse, let him go "free" like someone I knew did when she couldn't handle her cat. We loved them more than anything and when something happens to them we feel helpless and want to do whatever we can to save them. Sometimes we can but sadly we can't always... u feel torn but I would have made the same decision with Lush. Boldly I will say I think alot of people would. When I love an animal the last thing u want is for them to hurt... u loved Lush enough to let his hurt go even tho urs would start. U will face many thoughts and questions... its a roller coaster of feeling and emotions and it sucks and it hurts and if I could id hug u til it went away but it will always be with u... the rawness will edge out but u will always think of him because he will make sure of it :) ur love for him is undetachable... a chord if u will, connecting u both until u meet again. Thats my comfort... God has my keeten, idk why when I need him so bad, but God has him and is taking good care of him and Lush and all the animals we see on this forum til we get there... and we will. For now we live w questions and pain.and guilt and regret... but in our hearts we live w love for our babies that will never die...
Please believe that... u.will see ur Lush again and never be separated again.
Deep love=deep grieving and im here for u. We all are xoxo

Stacie (((hugs)))
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Rudydog
I believe as Wiley does. We are mere human beings. There is much left to be revealed to us about the way things work. You cannot know the answers to all of your questions.

We do know about the continuing love for our pets. Rudy was the only real love of my life. He died of cancer in 1/12. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 10/12. Only now do I have the space to really mourn him. I want him to come to me in my dreams also! I agree with you!

You have done nothing wrong. I just believe that in my heart. You acted out of love whatever you did. Your cat would not want you to hurt yourself like this. Some harmony and peace must come.
karen fairchild
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Rinalittle
It is hard knowing that i will never see him in person anymore i took his life for granted, we live on a main road where traffic got bad and i still let him outside i keep giving myself excuses but i know how much he lover the out doors and he loved playing outside and exploring and i could never take that away from him.

I just pray wherever he is that he safe and happy and does not hate me. Thank you for always replying and helping me through this,i know it must be hard for you too
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Rinalittle
So sorry to hear about rudy, that must of been horrible to endure, all our pets do is bring us love and joy and in return these terrible things happen to them.

I agree with what you said, we dont know what happens after we die, and there is so much for us to reveal, i know of someone who have died for a few minutes and saw a bright light with her husband standing in a distance telling her to back because her sons need her and then she woke up. That helps me believe that i will see him again.
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Wileykitten
rina I am always here for u xoxo u let Lush outside because he enjoyed it. U didnt intend for the accident to happen. It was an accident
u did everything u could to give him a great life and so much love. Yes there will be a day of no more tears, Jesus promised that so if u can cling to that Promise. I do but yes im still hurting beyond words. Depression and anxiety consume me because I too still have the questions and guilt, regret. I want Wiley here w me and my other cats just like before. I want to pet and snuggle him and kiss his beautiful face (his head always smelled like maple syrup idk why haha) and signing Best Friend every day as he buried his face in my neck purring. But I like all of us must hold on to the Promise we will be reunited in Heaven. Please try to see ur beautiful baby in Heaven laying in a brightly coloured patch of grass in the warm light of the sun, batting pink and purple flowers or trying to catch a shiny blue butterfly.... Wiley is probably there teaching him the ropes, he always was intrigued by kittens. Know Lush is not alone, as u are not alone... They are in the presence of The Creator and im sure that while we are so sad, they are are very happy.
My heart is so sad for u but I am grateful we can walk this difficult road together.

love, Stacie
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Rudydog
I am here too. You are helping me. I agree with what you say about the hope from what Jesus has told us.

I am not writing much as I just woke up and need to drink coffee. I just saw this on the computer and was touched by your words back and forth and that you mentioned me.

I know of many near death experiences as you describe, and I don't in any way think life on this earth is the end. It would be hard for me to see my family again, but knowing Rudy will be there is wonderful! My real, true love.

I think you would need to give your cat a way to get out in the world to explore in order to give quality of life.

Karen   Hugs
karen fairchild
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BradsMum
Please know that your discussion has helped me so very much.  I too am dealing with horrific guilt for taking my wonderful cat Bradley to my daughter's home.  He disappeared 2 days later around Sept. 3 and I am finally coming to terms with his probable death as she lives on a farm and many predators are in the area. Thinking about his fear and possible pain are beyond anything I ever imagined I could endure. All of you have such strong faith that I can't help but feel stronger after reading your kind and forgiving words and I hope that many others feel stronger after reading how you are reaching out.  Thank you.
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Wileykitten
Rudy and Brads moms....  im so sorry to hear about ur babies ((hugs)) The devastation we are feeling is like nothing else in the universe... and Brads mom ik it must be killing u not knowing where ur kitty is.... but please dont blame urself. Im sure u didnt want to leave him home alone and thought it would be nice to take him w u.....u had no idea nor intention he would get out. We will continue to pray that he finds his way back to ur daughters or that someone will find him and he will come home. There are many encouraging stories about animals who travel 1000s of miles to reunite w ther families... please do not give up hope that this is possible (((hugs)))
Rudys mom i understand the devastation cancer brings.. we believe my Wiley had sinus cancer and it has destroyed me. He has been gone 7 weeks and I just dont know where to begin. The void in our hearts is enormous, as far as the East is from the West... I just dont know how to stop hurting.
This forum has brought me much comfort and insight as well as sadness and tears. It breaks my heart reading what other people are going thru as I know it all too well but it is comforting knowing even in this extreme depression we are able to help one another.
Everyday is a challenge just getting up and out of bed, let alone putting on "socially acceptable face" and moving thru the day... at least we know we can come here and cry, vent, scream, maybe laugh a little... maybe.

With love, Stacie
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Wileykitten
rina.. thinking of u and wondering how u are doing. (((hugs))) hope u are ok, still praying

Stacie
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Rudydog
rina, I join with Stacie in all her thoughts and prayers for you.

karen fairchild
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Derynie
Trust that the vet knew what he/she was doing and that you saved your cat from hours of suffering. Animals have nothing but love for us; he knew you loved him. I'm sure it was a relief for him not to suffer anymore. Unfortunately, accidents happen. You can't blame yourself for something that is out of your control. Grieve for your baby, but don't blame yourself. Some day you will find peace of mind. I hope that day is soon in coming.
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