Layla2007
I apologize this is long, but I need to type this out. I don’t have many people who understand the connection I had with my Layla. Layla was my first dog of my own, and I never expected to have my whole life change so much for the better because of it. I was headed down a wrong path in life, and a random road trip turned into me getting this weird looking white boxer. She was my guardian angel in a dog suit. Over the years I learned how to love, and along the way became sober because of her. She literally saved my life. We had the best times together and literally were inseparable. I worked from home the last 6 years of her life, so I was lucky enough to be able to literally spend every minute with her. She had a lot of issues over the years, but I did everything I could for her. At 4 she was diagnosed(incorrectly) with pancreatitis. At 7 she had cancer. At 9 she collapsed and an amazing emergency vet went on a limb and thought Addison’s. Which she had, had Addison’s since 4(not pancreatitis). I had that all under control. Just this last May though she started yelping when she bumped her nose. Again the vets tried diagnosing her, but we ended up with multiple incorrect diagnosises. I had went on a research mission and established she had Lymes disease on my own. Within a few days of treatment, she was back to her self. But that only lasted a few weeks. I feel like the lymes had gone too far and there wasn’t much I could do. Pain meds weren’t working. CBD oil did work, and amazingly, for the pain...but that too started to not work anymore. I took her on one last camping trip at the beginning of August and cherished every second of it because I knew my time with her was coming to an end. She did fairy well on the trip, but once we got home is when she started to crash. The last 3 weeks of her life were hard. It was so hard watching my best friend fail. I knew I was going to have to make the decision, because she was definitely not giving up. Even until the last morning she followed me everywhere. She even walked up and down the stairs no matter how much pain she was in. I didn’t sleep or eat much the last 3 weeks of her life. I had 10 days off from work coming up around Labor Day, and she literally made it until I was done working on August 30th. That night she let me know it was time for her to leave. She walked up to me and put her mouth right on mine and held it there for 5 minutes. Just staring directly in my eyes. She was saying she hurt and I knew I had to help her to not suffer anymore. Friday morning I fed her a bunch of chicken and we went for one last car ride, and took a walk together on the shore or Lake Superior before we headed to the vet. We got to the vet and she knew. She didn’t want to get out of my truck. But she finally came with me and I just sat with her until I said I was ready. They gave her the shot to make her sleepy. She came and laid on her favorite blanket next to me. She had her eyes closed the whole time. I just sat on the floor next to her talking to her and petting her. They came in and gave her the final shot. She opened her eyes and stared right into mine with the most loving brown eyes ever. She looked so peaceful as she took her last breath. I am so thankful I got that. I am so thankful for the 10.5 years I had with her. The day after I had put Layla down my mom was trying to keep me busy, and forcing me to eat. After I ate a tiny bit, we had went to the new house they are building. I wasn’t all that into looking at the house. Up here we have a rock called a Lake Superior agate. Looking for these was something that Layla came with me to do, and she loved. We were outside wandering around all day long. I had went outside of the house and said, please just give me a sign you are ok. I walked around the house looking for an agate as my sign. I made it around 3 sides and nothing. I was on the last side and my mom was standing by my truck just letting me do my thing. I started walking towards her, feeling pretty defeated because I didn’t get any sign, when all of a sudden I heard Layla panting(it was warm out). I legit heard her. No doubt in my mind. I turned to where I heard her, and there was an agate laying right there! I broke down in tears. To the point that I barely could explain to my mom why I was bawling. She’s like see, she’s always with you. This story gets even weirder though. Like I wouldnt believe this had I not experienced it, and had others be part of this all to confirm that it had happened. I had taken a picture of the agate and sent it to a few friends. This agate meant the world to me. I was at my buddies house the next day and was telling the story of finding it, and he had a weird look on his face. He let me finish, and then says, that’s why you sent me that picture? He pulled up the picture on his phone, and said he thought I sent it to him because of what he saw. He showed me and my eyes filled up with tears and my heart was so happy. There was a picture of a dogs face, eerily similar to Layla’s, on this rock! I had not seen it when I originally took the picture, but now cannot unsee it. I’ve included the pictures for you to see. I know I am lucky enough to have gotten a huge sign from her. I know she is with me. And I know deep down in my heart she is at the bridge waiting for me. I just miss her more than words can describe. I find my eyes filling up with tears and thoughts of her at random times. Does this get any easier?? Everyone keeps telling me to get another. But Layla was seriously a one of a kind. She had a heart of gold, and the most amazing soul I have ever came across. I don’t know that I am ready for another yet, and will that actually help me? What helps besides time?
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gizmomybaby
So sorry for the loss of your beautiful Layla and yes I believe there definitely signs your getting x I saw my boy gizmo twice in my house and doesn't matter what anyone says it wasent my imagination . It's a very very hard journey I lost my precious boy a year past August and it does get easier the missing them past never goes away you just learn to live day by day . I use to here people say oo it gets easier I just couldn't see it but as time goes by you learn to live with it knowing there wee spirit is always by your side . This forum helped me so much in my first good few months as I was so broken , but weer all here wee all know & feel your pain . Plz know am thinking of you and sending you hugs and love from one mummy to another xx
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Layla2007
Thank you for the reply, and kind words! I believe you saw him! I also saw Layla a few times, but it was within the first couple of days. Unfortunately I haven’t seen her since:/ it has gotten easier in a sense, but I still feel like I am going to come home and she is going to be here. My daily routines are definitely not the same anymore. It is crazy the bond we can have with our pets. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. That is the definition of true love❤️
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ErinToby
I just posted for the first time today. I lost my greatest love yesterday. I too want to know if it gets easier, as I'm in the horrible grips of loss right now.
I work from home too, and my girl saved our family as well. Last night after she left us, I was in my office. This is where her and I spent 75% of the day. I started talking out loud to her and the lights dimmed. I just thought power surge. I kept talking, three more times it dimmed. I yelled for my husband and he saw it. Then I started singing one of the many songs I would sing to her during the day and the light actually flickered quickly. We both just burst into tears. Yes. I know that was her. But today it's still not enough. I want her. I just want her.....
I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I had words of wisdom, but I'm too new to this kind of pain :/
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Layla2007
I don’t have much for experience either, but being 34 days in to this I can say that it does get “easier”...if that’s what we call it. It isn’t easy by any means. It’s like a huge part of you is missing, and it is. I find myself talking about her a lot. I also carry the agate I found around with me everywhere. I absolutely believe the lights flickering were her! I sat and read a lot of near death experience stories after Layla left, and it made me have a lot of hope for the rainbow bridge :) I’m extremely sorry for your loss. I know words don’t mean much right now, but know we all understand what you’re going through. It’s awful. But hang in there, and remember the good times you had with your girl. Hugs to you and your family❤️
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ErinToby
Thank you so much Layla. Your words have comforted me, and I do not feel alone with this amazing community.
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xxcesarxx
I believe rainbow bridge exists. I loved hugging my baby and he loved my hugs. Each time i hugged him i also smelled his scent, this scent was very unique. A month after my baby went to rainbow bridge I was walking through the backyard ( I was planting a tree in his memory) and I smelled this very strong scent, his scent!! I was very skeptical at first, I was like this can't be, its all in my head. I walked away from this area and no more scent a few steps away. I went back to the same area and there it was. I know for sure it was my baby visiting me one last time and saying good bye to me. I believe with all my heart that you too received the sign you are describing. !!🤗
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Sil
Layla2007,

I am truly sorry for your loss of Layla.  And, yes, Layla sent you the agate(rock).  The bond that we form with these amazing fur babies is like no other.  Their love is pure, strong, loyal and unconditional.  They give us their best every day of their lives.  Our hearts break in a thousand pieces when they say good bye.... our lives feel "incomplete", like a huge part is missing ….and it is.  Sol, my very special male doggie said good bye almost fifteen months ago..... I don't know if "easier" is the right word.... it is more like, we "adapt" to the pain.  I agree with gizmomybaby, "the missing part, never goes away....." but, the pain is as strong and the love.  (((Hugs)))  

ErinToby, I am so sorry for your loss of your sweet girl.  The pain is raw and immense, I know.  (((Hugs)))

xxcesarxx, I am truly sorry for the loss of your sweet and beautiful boy.  Words cannot truly describe the pain of their absence in our lives.  (((Hugs)))
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MAlcindor
Adam, the story of your Layla is beautiful and heart warming. I am truly so sorry for your loss. They are beautiful kind beings that come into our lives and transform us in ways we never thought possible. They become such an important part of our lives and it is so sad that their life span is so much shorter than ours. When they leave us they take with them a part of us we never get back. But we would not trade having them for anything on this earth. Their love is like no other and our lives would be so empty without them. Does it get easier? We learn to deal with the pain and the grief becomes part of us. The love we can no longer give them has no where to go so we carry it in our hearts forever. The sign your baby gave you to let you know she is ok fills my heart with joy for you. I am a believer that if we are open to receive their signs we will get them. As for getting another dog, only you know when and if you will be ready for one. No other dog will ever take the place of Layla, but if you decide one day you are ready to get another one you will fall in love again. No dog takes the place of one you've lost, your heart just keeps making space for the special love we have for each of them. Layla was so lucky to have you for her dad. 
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Layla2007
Xxcesarxx - your boy looked like a beautiful, good dog. I’m sorry for your loss. I believe the rainbow bridge exists for sure after the sign I was given as well. There was a story I read of a near death experience that someone had, had that truly made me think “that’s the rainbow bridge!” Person was walking with someone through fields of rolling green grass, and they came over the hill and there were lots of animals standing there. They all had stopped what they were doing, and they said every animal turned and looked what they described as “through them”. The person guiding them said...the reason they seem to look through you and go about their day is because you are not their people they are waiting for. That right there was enough for me to realize they are waiting for us! The bond we have with our pets is amazing. They are the most kind souls in the universe. We as humans are lucky enough to be allowed the opportunity to see this, and hopefully learn from them. I’m glad you were able to get a sign from your beloved dog too!

Sil - the bond we create is absolutely amazing. Layla was my first pet of my own, and I can honestly say that I never thought in a million years I could gain a love for a dog that ran so deep. She was my child. My family. My world. You’re also right about it not getting “easier” per se. In the short time since she has been gone it has been somewhat “easier” but it is just because I am learning how to live with her in my heart instead of by my side. I have a lot of moments still where the missing her completely takes me over though and I have a very hard time. But I know it’s expected. I’m also sorry for the loss of your precious pup. Thank you for the kind words, and your experience.

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Layla2007
MAIcindor - thank you for what you wrote. Everyone who has replied has been a huge help with this, and we all share the sadness of losing someone special. Layla loved me so incredibly much, that she gave me the best sign in the world to let me know she was ok. I miss her more than I can even describe, but I’m sure you know this feeling. She changed my life so much for the better, and taught me how to love. People who have never experienced the love of a dog are truly missing out. I know I will let another dog into my life again when the time is right. That love is way too special to never have again. And I know as much as my heart hurts for losing Layla, I would do it all over again in order to have that feeling again. If only we could figure out how to keep them with us much longer... hugs to you❤️
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