CBRMix
I lost my dog Chewy yesterday (Labrador Retriever). He was with me for 15 years and 3 months. He had complications from his past surgery (lipoma taken off in March 2013). Sometimes there were good and bad days. I couldn't put him down when he had bad days because he always perked up and being his old self again. Last Sunday, he couldn't eat, vomited again (he had been doing this hours after he ate his lunch , couldn't stand on his own- and that was the time that I knew that I had to do 'it'.  I called the vet to do it at home. Chewy died at his favorite place, at his home, surrounded by his loving owners, and he died peacefully at my arms. I was hugging him throughout the process.  Before the vet administered the process, he looked at me and wanted me to carry him outside. And my husband carried him, held his whole body so he could release himself, which he did.

I felt sad and heartbroken, that at last moment he didnt want to soil his bed (because I just changed it and I didn't mind at all whether he dirtied again and again). It showed clearly that he couldn't fight it anymore.  I whispered to him that I would be okay and he could start crossing the rainbow bridge and wait for me, he closed his eyes and breathed this last breath.  I was heartbroken till now.

I woke up in an empty house. Every corner in my house reminds me of him. I've been living in this house with him for 15 years. He was my life!.  I'm feeling, there is a huge hole in my heart that I can't patch up.

How to cope? Does it get any better than this?
Quote 0 0
Emma
What a loving and brave thing you did for Chewy.

I know how much this hurts. It's been 12 days since I had to put my cat to sleep and I'm reminded of her in almost every corner of our house. It was the hardest thing I have ever done and I cried for a week. I still cry but only when I allow myself to remember my last moments with her at the vet's when I had to make that terrible decision unexpectedly. But I did it out of love and everyone here knows you also made that decision out of love.

I know it's hard to believe now but it does get easier. There will come a point when you realize that it's not about getting over the loss but about learning to live with the loss and the tears will slow down.

My house still feels different to me too. The energy has changed and I too wonder when I'll be able to come home after work and not feel like I do today. Our home just isn't the same without her.

Keep reading the different posts around the forum. I've found a lot of healing and hope and support in others thoughts and words.

My heart goes out to you.
Quote 0 0
Gertie
CBRMix wrote:
I lost my dog Chewy yesterday (Labrador Retriever). He was with me for 15 years and 3 months. He had complications from his past surgery (lipoma taken off in March 2013). Sometimes there were good and bad days. I couldn't put him down when he had bad days because he always perked up and being his old self again. Last Sunday, he couldn't eat, vomited again (he had been doing this hours after he ate his lunch , couldn't stand on his own- and that was the time that I knew that I had to do 'it'.  I called the vet to do it at home. Chewy died at his favorite place, at his home, surrounded by his loving owners, and he died peacefully at my arms. I was hugging him throughout the process.  Before the vet administered the process, he looked at me and wanted me to carry him outside. And my husband carried him, held his whole body so he could release himself, which he did.

I felt sad and heartbroken, that at last moment he didnt want to soil his bed (because I just changed it and I didn't mind at all whether he dirtied again and again). It showed clearly that he couldn't fight it anymore.  I whispered to him that I would be okay and he could start crossing the rainbow bridge and wait for me, he closed his eyes and breathed this last breath.  I was heartbroken till now.

I woke up in an empty house. Every corner in my house reminds me of him. I've been living in this house with him for 15 years. He was my life!.  I'm feeling, there is a huge hole in my heart that I can't patch up.

How to cope? Does it get any better than this?
Quote 0 0
Gertie
I am so sorry to hear of your beautiful Chewy's passing. Does it get any better, yes it gets easier. You will find you have days where the pain is so bad, you just want give up. Then as you accept that he is in a better place, free of pain, you will remember him and smile.
Always know he is watching over you, loving you.

I am at 6weeks since my little Duncan was put to sleep. He was 9, a Lhasa and love of my life. The first 3 weeks were hell. I was recovering from shoulder surgery, the worst grief I have ever known.
You are in my thoughts, when I look at the stars tonight, I will remember you and your beautiful companion Chewy. Maybe he and Duncan are playing together.

Love to you and your family,

Duncan's Mom.x
Quote 0 0
judylinn
I'm so sorry for your loss of Chewy. It is so agonizing that pain of the loss of our little loved ones. Somedays it just feels unbearable and like we can't get through it, but it does ease up...it just takes time. It's important to allow the grief to come out and not hold it in your body. I found when I did that the pain just built and built and got worse. It's been 3 years now for me and Maddie, my love for her is as strong as it ever was, but I can cope now, though even now sometimes there are a few tears of deep grief and loss.
For me, it was really important to do some practical things to honor my life with Maddie. I planted a tree in her honor, and some flowers, I put flowers by her picture for a long long time, yellow ones because she reminded me of sunshine,I lit a candle of love for her,  someone suggested writing in a journal to her, and that really really helped. also the monday night candle light ceremony was good. those practical things really helped me to cope, and this site was really what saved me, as I was on here for help everysingle day. Blessings to you in this very difficult time...Judylinn
Quote 0 0
PeteyLover
I'm so sorry CBRmix, My tears are flowing full stream reading your post as it sounds so much like me. I lost my little guy of 16 yrs on May 13th. I don't think it really gets easier, I think you just learn to adjust to things you cant do anything about. It's a certain kind of hell living in the house where you lived and loved your dog for so many years. My husband and I realized that we had never been in our bed alone together in 16 years without Petey. 16 yrs! Geeze that's a long time to have him there and then all of a sudden there gone, isn't it? It's almost like torture for me. So understand your not alone because this is definitely the place where you can find people who know exactly what your going thru.
Quote 0 0
CBRMix
I would like to thank you all for giving me support in this difficult time. I'm so glad that I've found this forum with people who are going thru this pain. I've never known this kind of pain until I lost my beloved Chewy. Up till now, I have not coped productively. All I do is sobbing or going home late (because I can't bear the emptiness of the house).  Suddenly, I don't feel like doing anything productive! I light electric candle every night near Chewy's ashes, look at the stars, and read other people's posts. They help me stop sobbing for a moment.  But I'm sure time will heal..., I hope.

My prayers and thoughts are with all of you and your pets. Thank you so much.


Quote 0 0
Momma2Max
Quote:
felt sad and heartbroken, that at last moment he didnt want to soil his bed (because I just changed it and I didn't mind at all whether he dirtied again and again).


yea, I didn't understand that one either...

Max could barely walk or stand, but yet he still wanted us to take him outside - even at the very end - when we took him to the vet his last day - he still wanted to pee but couldn't because his kidneys were shut down.  I could see him trying.

and the last days, he would pee outside only, and it was such an effort for him to get up and walk.

For about a week - before during and after - I couldn't function. I was just a cry baby. I was just melting in agony.

Then I went to work - put on my professional face...did my job, and did not think about Max because I knew I would lose it.

Then I went home, and did my crying there.

Now its been 2 months, and I cry maybe once a day...And I think about him. Somethings just make me go there...but I can function now.

There's still a hole in my heart. But I have 2 doggies and a daughter to keep me occupied.  Today when I came home, I was laughing as I pulled up to my house - watching Shilo bark excitedly at me pulling in the driveway.

And I let them inside, and both Dottie and Shilo did their excited to see me dance. And I smiled and greeted them and pet them and gave them a doggy biscuit.

For the longest of time, when I gave them a doggy biscuit - it would make me cry - because I couldn't give Max any treats his last days...he wouldn't eat.

You ask when does it get better? well - you have to mourn properly. Don't be afraid of the pain...just embrace it for what it is.

Sure it hurts like heck...and its suppose to...because you had a love that was a great and powerful love.  Love transcends beyond death.

There's a saying, "cry it all out" and that's what you need to do.  Like with me, I go to work and at work - I work. But in my free time, I give myself permission to cry and think and mourn.

and that's ok.


Kara
Quote 0 0
Rockys_Mommy
I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our beautiful dog Rocky, two weeks ago. I am just now getting to the point where I can go several hours before crying again. The pain is awful..my heart is shattered over losing him. I understand along with everyone else here. It will definitely take time for the pain to ease a little...
Kim
Quote 0 0
heartsick

 

 

I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet precious Chewy.

I lost my Black Lab – Bear – at 14. We NEVER have them for long enough.

I will never understand why horses can live to 40 – some parrots even longer – and cats can live to 20 and yet our sweet babies – depending on breed live and average of 12 years.

Your sweet Chewy Loves you so very much as he stayed with you for more than 15 years.

Grief is awful and there is nothing else like this pain.

I am divorced - when I was married I buried my son- at that time I became a Certified Grief Counselor- I used the same graveside service for my Bear as I did for my son.

Please know that when we lose someone we love we don't stop loving them -

LOVE NEVER DIES.

The soul bound connection that is between our babies and ourselves is forever.

Nothing - not death- tears -grief - or sadness will ever break the ties between us for those ties are made of LOVE so strong that NOTHING will ever sever those connections.

LOVE NEVER DIES.

When we grieve for those we love it is because we do not quite know how to live without them. We breathe because we have no choice but the living part takes a huge amount of learning and time.

If you read the beginning of any one of our threads you will recognize yourself. We all feel  the same gut wrenching raw searing pain of new grief.

Grief is not something we get over but something that we learn -slowly- over time- to incorporate into our lives until it becomes a part of us like our bones and our breath.

Please know that we all understand here and we are all here for you.

We are all in this together and all walking the same roller coaster path of grief together -

some a bit ahead of you, some by your side, and some will come behind for you to help along.

You Are In My Thoughts.                                       

Susan(heartsick)

 

 

Quote 0 0
CBRMix
It has been a week since Chewy died. The pain has not eased yet.  I still get depressed when I get home. I agree with Susan's comment that we breathe because we have no choice, but the living part takes a huge amount of learning and time. That is my challenge now.

My prayers are with everybody who has lost his/her beloved pet. I'm mourning with you and always keep prayers and thoughts to all of you.
Quote 0 0
Vivian_M1
I know exactly how you feel.  It has been 2 1/2 weeks since we had to make that decision to let Stella go.  She never recovered from the operation to remove a cancerous tumor.  We saw her declining rapidly after she stopped eating. We were hoping she would get better but she just got worse. The last night and the next morning were the worst.  I have some okay days and definitely bad days.  I too hope it gets better.  Hugs to all of you who have also lost their fur babies.  This forum has really helped me in addition to a pet loss support group I found near my house.  It just really helps to be with people who understand how I feel.  
Vivian M.
Quote 0 0