I can't believe that in February it will be a year since I said goodbye to my beautiful boy Jasper. Almost a whole year has gone by, yet it seems as though I am still in that first heartbreaking week at times. Well maybe not quite as raw or searing, but still there nevertheless in regards to the emptiness and the longing to be with him once again. I suppose that is why this grief journey we are on is described as a roller coaster, which I can so relate to. The sadness will sometimes be so deep inside me and I can hold it at bay, so to speak, then something will happen that brings it right back up to the surface.

It is almost as though I am riding a huge wave and finally make it to the shore, with my feet firmly planted in the sand, then here comes this big wave, and off I go back to those stormy seas once again. I just miss him so much, and' sometimes when I look at his pictures, his eyes seem to look right through my very soul, and he still feels so close, yet I can't reach out and touch him, I can't feel his dear little paw on my shoulder, I can't hold him in my arms. We should have had so many more years together, so many more special times together, but now there are only pictures and memories, and although deep down I know he will never leave my heart, there is still so much sadness, still so many tears for my sweet little kitty, who when he left, took my heart right with him ... does it ever end?
Pamela Lynne Crawford
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You could have written this post for me, it is so in line with the day I had and the emotions,I went though today
It has only been 13 weeks for me ( to the day) but sometimes it feels that it just happened 13 seconds ago , other times 13 years ago

I am so sorry you are still in such pain I now know what true pain and grief is so I can truly empathize with you and all the other folks here

I honestly don't know if this will ever end until the happy day we can reunite with them, I pray that I will be able to be with my B again, I hope I am worthy

Blessings to you and sweet Jasper

Take care
Diana and her better half, Bee
Bee- "Good night sweet prince & flights of angels see thee to thy rest"
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Jaspers Mom and Bees Mom...  so sorry for your losses.  We all grief together and like you Bees Mom, when I read some of the posts I know that I feel exactly the same.  It has been 4 months for me today...the longest four months of my life and the longest without my Dali in 12 1/2 years.  I cry, I ache, and the emptiness is so hard to deal with.  We have to do whatever we can to get through it and one day I believe we will be reunited with our babies.  God took them much too soon and what would heaven be without them?  Without them, I wouldn't even want to go to heaven.  I had heaven on earth...
Take care of yourself, it is so hard.  Know that we are all here for you and we can relate to those feelings.
Hugs to Jasper and B and their moms from me and Dali

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again


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I am in the same boat. My Ziggy died 12-24, and I am DEVASTATED. All I do is cry every single day. I tell people my sad story, and no one seems to care. I am lost without him. This is my story ~~~~

Merry Christmas to all my friends and Family. Today I lost my best friend, my everything, and it is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in life. I have lost family members before but losing Ziggy was so much more. He was my world, and I loved him more then anyone in my family and thats the truth. He was my son, and he relied on daddy to keep him safe. I feel as if I let him down. The one night I left him at the hospital to try to help him heal, the only night he has EVER spent alone without me in his entire life, he passes away from a major heart attack. I feel as if he gave up because he though daddy abandoned him. I was too busy talking with the cardiologist trying to find out as much as I could to help him, and while my wife was saying goodnight to Ziggy and giving his kisses they took him back to his room to sleep. I assumed I would go see him at 9am this morning, but we received the call at 6:05 am that after he went outside to pee he fell over and succumbed to a massive heart attack. They tried CPR ,but he was gone. I never said nite nite to my baby , and i never told him daddy loves you. He was only 5 years old and he is gone Anyone that knows me knows that I loved Ziggy more then any person, or anything there is. I spent every minute with him and I feel like he relied on me, and I let him down. I'm so sorry Ziggy Pop , daddy didn't leave you there because he gave up and stopped loving you. Daddy just wanted you to get better and be a happy Puppy for Christmas, so you could open your presents and get a new bone, and a soccer ball that you wanted. I regret leaving you there, and second guess myself for the rest of my life because as hard as I tried to save you, I feel as if in the end I am the one who let you down and you died because I wasn't there for you. I am so so sorry Pop. Now my faith is being tested in a big way. I feel as if God let me down also. I strive so much to be a good person, and do the right thing and help others. I know deep down I am kind hearted and love everyone. I try to help people and share anything I can. My puppy didnt deserve to die in this manner. With that said God Bless everyone, and I hope you have a better Holiday then me. Im lucky to be alive right now because this morning after getting the news I really started second guessing myself for letting Ziggy down, and him dying as a result of me not being there for him. I should have slept in the kennel with him

Lost My Beloved Ziggy ( Reverse Brindle Boxer ) to a heart attack on Christmas Eve
12-24-2014. The worst day of my life. I miss him beyond what words can reply. He was my EVERYTHING. My soulmate, and I am Devastated. He battled Boxer Dilated Cardiomyopathy and Congestive Heart Failure for 2 years. I really thought he was doing well, and then Bang, He's gone... Life will never be the same. Im hurting bad inside and really could use any emotional support offered. I miss him so so much.
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Diana, it has only been 13 weeks since your baby crossed over the bridge, I must say that I can vividly remember that time period after losing my Jasper, it was so very hard, and it felt like my heart was shattered into a million tiny pieces, and that they would never come together again.  I know you are hurting so much over the loss of your sweet B, and I thank you so much for your understanding and kindness, as it really helps to know we are not alone in this. Blessings and hugs to you and your B, from me and my Jasper.

Dalidog, I so appreciate your kind words of support as I know you understand so well how I feel. You are right that we are all grieving together and so many of the thoughts and emotions we see in other's posts are so much what we ourselves are feeling. I suppose that when you love deep, you grieve deep, when you love someone so very much and lose them, how could your world ever be the same, and would you really want it to. I believe with all of my heart, just as you do, that we will see them again, but the waiting is so very hard. Blessings and hugs to you and your Dali, from me and my Jasper.

John, I am so very sorry for the loss of your Ziggy, but please don't blame yourself. So many times I have felt guilty about my Jasper, why didn't I notice signs of his illness sooner, why didn't I take him to the vet sooner, it was like a recording playing over and over again, and it so intensified the pain and sadness. But it does seem to be a part of this grief journey, so many of us wish we had done things differently, but when all is said and done, we loved our babies so very much, and we did the best we could for them.

It took me almost a whole year to come to terms with that, so just know that you did the very best you could for your Ziggy, and he was at the animal hospital receiving care for his illness, and his passing was in no way your fault. My Jasper was only seven, so I know how you feel about losing your little one at such a young age, it just doesn't seem fair that we miss out on so much time with them, there should be so many more special times together, so many more wonderful memories made. Again I am so very sorry for your loss, and know that your little one knows without a doubt how very much he is loved. Hold onto all the light and the love he brought into your world, and know that he will never leave your heart. Take care and I wish you peace and comfort in the days ahead, blessings to you and your Ziggy, from me and my Jasper.
Pamela Lynne Crawford
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