Credere1992
Today my cat Ralph who was shared among my sister, my grandma, and myself was hit by a car. We're not sure who it was, but possibly a neighbor. My sister didn't want me to keep Ralph in, let him roam free and come in at night. I didn't really like the idea anymore because Ralph's brother Oso had died about a year ago, the same way. But I let him out thinking he'd be okay and Oso accident was just a mistake. We live in a very small town only 2-3 houses on each street with plenty of room to roam freely. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt about Ralph today. I feel horrible and haven't really stopped crying at all. I myself have two cats, that I've brought indoors just because of the fear of losing them. I literally become an entangled ball of messiness when something happens to my pets. To me they're my babies, like my kids. Everyone thinks something is wrong with that, but I don't understand it because can't I feel the same for animals that I do for humans? I guess not to some. I'm just not sure what to do anymore, any advice would be really helpful. I'm trying to keep my cool and not have an anxiety attack. I feel like it's coming soon for me especially because not only am I dealing with the loss of poor Ralphie, but a lot of family problems, so it's especially weighing on me. Sorry if I've wrote too much, I just felt the need to find somewhere to mourn because I have no where else.
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lettersatlarge
You haven't written too much. I've written entire essays here about my feelings since my Dante left us. Your Ralph looks so beautiful in that picture. Two winter holidays ago, my mother lost two kittens in the same way. We were devastated. She also prefers to leave them in/out, because we live in a similar area to yours. There are only two houses on the street, however a block away is a high traffic area. She still has one cat, Barney, who we've had for longer than all our pets. He's older and was adopted having previously been a stray. I think he's made for that kind of life, but the kittens may not have been. I understand your desire to be very protective with your remaining pets. When Dante passed, all we had left was Barney, so every time I see him now, I shower him with love. I'm sorry for all your loss and your family difficulties right now. I can relate to some degree. During the time Dante left us and currently, I'm having work issues and am feeling very unsure about my job security, so I've been an anxious ball of mess for the last few months. This forum is sometimes my only outlet.
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camunki
this forum is a great place to talk, scream, yell, cry etc just get whatever feeling you have out, and it does take away a that alone feeling.

Your cat Ralph is a beautiful boy with beautiful eyes. And I am so sorry for your loss. Please know I too am the same way with my dogs, they ARE my kids, my children and I don't care what anyone thinks of that if they think I am weird. There are a few friends who understand how I feel then alot of other people roll their eyes when I talk about my "kids". So to me this is normal!

I am glad you are keeping your other 2 cats inside, better to be safe now. I myself, journal each day, it helps in the grieving process. I lost my beloved Rotti, Jemma last year and I still cry every day and its going on almost 9 months but the tears still fall. I talk to her daily. I have so many photos, her ashes, even her bowl is still up on the counter. I do want to keep her memory alive.

Your greiving with Ralph is so new you will go thru a whirlwind of emotions and have breakdowns out of nowhere, i know I did. Posting here is wonderful too, so many supportive people who truly understand your feelings. So keep coming back and posting it truly helps.

Cam


 
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Credere1992
Thank you both, it's nice to have people that feel the same way as I do and have a similar situation. I can't help but feel this weighing feeling in my chest all day. I can't even cry anymore today because I've lost all my tears.

Lettersatlarge I'm very sorry about Dante. I'm glad you found success in this forum I really hope I can too. I still can't understand why everything hits the fan all at once sometimes. Like can I catch a break or anyone for that matter? Thank you for sharing your story.

Camunki thank you and yes was a beautiful boy. I never had a cat like him, and his colors were so amazing. I always wanted big cats like him and when we finally got 2 Maine coons I was excited to watch them grow up to be big boys. Ralph only got to live to 2 years and Oso only lived till one. I'm so sad about it. What makes this worse still is my sister has another cat and he won't stay what so ever, he screams or he'll break windows till you let him out, this is Theo. Theo even broke the side panel of the air conditioner trying to get out. My sister is away at college for the next few years so I have her other cat. I'm not sure what to do with him as well. It makes me fear this is how he will go as well, but he doesn't listen. I went to great lengths to keep the cats a little safer, but nothing works. Even got the tile things meant for keys so I can track them, so they don't get lost. And anything I do do my sister undermines it because she wants all the cats to play and live their life to the fullest, which I get, which makes me then feel bad for keep even my babies in. We still have the tiles cause my sister loved the idea in case they go missing, but other than that I've tried everything. My two babies are content staying in, yes they'd like to go out, but they're fine being inside. Thankfully my babies are good like that, but Theo is very diffficult. I'm really considering getting a cat enclosure for our yard, but not sure if it'll work or if I'm allowed to have it in my town. I can't deal with another loss of a pet, it's breaking my heart. Thank you as well for sharing your story and I'm very sorry about Jemma
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