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ItCannotBeTrue

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Posts: 21
Reply with quote  #46 
I allowed him to go there even though I had a bad feeling about it. I question my love for my dog by not stepping in. I had opportunities to say no. I failed him. They killed him. I failed to stop it from happening. I gave them permission to take his life by not saying one simple word, "NO." How do I live with that? Simple, a pine box. Should be plenty of food for the rats.
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CKMP

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Reply with quote  #47 
Dear It Cannot Be True,
Please do not let guilt rob you of the time and 'lessons' of your sweet little peanut...Please do not let guilt, anger and bitterness over shadow your love and bond between the two of you.  There is time to investigate the practices of your vet, but now is the time for the pure grief and sorrow to be expressed.  Now is the time to ensure there is a 'legacy' of that little fur one's life with you - time for tears too.  Your fierce loyalty is clear - please find a way to share your despair with another - there is someone who will listen - is there a grief counsellor you might be able to see?  Is there another family member who might lend a shoulder?  Self punishment and guilt seems to plague us all and truly it will destroy the ability to grieve and the love we shared with that fur one...We do what we do because we feel it is right at that time, we make decisions based upon the information we have then and because we love, care and want the best for our fur ones...And more than anyone else our fur ones know this...and love us forever and always...Please take each moment, one moment at a time...and be careful with yourself and be kinder to your grieving self - Your little peanut with the tiny paws has a giant's love for you and will always be nearby.
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155

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Reply with quote  #48 
Tina,
Can you see how many people are reaching out to you, to help them, by trying to find your way through this intense grief you are feeling.
It can be done Tina. You can get better. You have other babies who love you and need you. They are going through it themselves. They miss your little peanut too.
You have to dig yourself out from under this huge veil of guilt because you did nothing wrong. You loved that little dog with all your heart and soul and he knows that Tina. He's in heaven and he's ok, he really is. All of our fur babies are there and they are happy and at peace.
The issue with the vet is now a seperate thing and if he made a lapse in judgement that's on him, not you.
Don't do little Peanut a disservice by focusing on the vet. The issue with that man will get straightened out. Grieve as long as it takes but not with the guilt that is overpowering your life.
Love your other furbabies like you always have and that will be a tribute to little peanut.
We're all here for you.

Hugssss
Carol
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Sassylinda

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Posts: 4
Reply with quote  #49 
How are things Tina, bl@@dy silly question I know! but just to let you know you and your little peanut and your other boys and family are in my thoughts.

SL
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ItCannotBeTrue

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Posts: 21
Reply with quote  #50 
tree-with-heart-white-background_7000-3copy.jpg
To My Valentine Baby 

I wish you were here so  I could give you a big hug and convince you how much you mean to me. I know you would shower me with kisses like you always did. I can't believe you're not here. I am having trouble coping. Everyday I cope less and less. I s*cks you are not here. I'm trying to hide my sorrow, but I can't hide it, nor can I hide my guilt allowing you to go to a place that took away your life after only 2 visits there.  How are vets like these still able to be in business? 

I'm the only one in this game now. There are no other players. I am the king at a checkmate. Nowhere to go anymore. No one wants to hear my sob story about the little love of my life who I lost.  I am so sorry my baby.  Eventually you will tire of me, too. and then wonder what kind of mom I was to put you in harm's way.  I have had some thoughts that others may not like, but I think I could finally be at peace. So, it's time to start making a plan.  I won't screw it up like I did with your life.  I hope you can forgive me.  I know you're a dog and maybe you don't understand a word of this.  I wish for a glimmer of hope, that you can.

I love you,

Mom

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CaseyM

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Posts: 29
Reply with quote  #51 
Would you like to talk? I'm Casey and lost my son Moses 2 weeks ago, I like you am heartbroken tremendously that our children our gone. Feel free to contact me or my wife Karren. Sincerely Casey & Karren Mittleider
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Sheekee

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Posts: 6
Reply with quote  #52 
I just buried my baby. He was only 4 and died suddenly the pain is unbearable...how do I push past...

we now think it was probably hcm as he had no signs of struggle or injury. We are in such grief I dont know how to push past. He was our happy, purry, gentle, loving cheeky baby. He has left such a hole in our life.
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partangel

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Reply with quote  #53 
Oh no! I am so sorry for your tragic loss! I can totally relate as I am finding out that our vet failed us, as well. I am sick to my stomach just as you are. My little boy Goliath had been to the vet 22 times over a 4-year period. They did x-rays, blood work, etc. to find out why he was gaining weight. He was a large Chihuahua reaching a hefty 34 pounds. Although his daddy and brother ate the same meals, he kept gaining. They kept trying new diets, telling me he needed more exercise. I watched my brave boy struggle through his walks, not wanting to disappoint me. Still no weight loss. Until last Monday.

I took him in after discovering a mass on one of his legs. He had lost 11 pounds without even trying! They diagnosed him with a bacterial infection and sent us home with antibiotics and a pain med. Said to return 2 weeks later for a recheck. I had questioned about possible diabetes and she wanted to wait until he came back to check for that.

He never made it to a recheck. That Friday he was struggling so hard just to breathe. Couldn't stand and barely able to drink. Refused his food, even nipped at me. I rushed him in. This vet said he was very pale and rushed him to the oxygen room. Took an x-ray and blood work and informed me he was in congestive heart failure, diabetic stress, respiratory distress, was anemic, liver damage, and kidneys had been affected. I was in shock! I watched my little boy use every ounce of his being just to take a breath. We were encouraged to put him down. I chose to rather than watch him suffocate to death but it was not easy!

I wailed over him. Just barely 10 years old. It was through a pet loss chatroom that I discovered the pain med they had prescribed him could have been the culprit. It was a highly controversial drug known to cause death. I was never warned of this! Only told it could cause diarrhea. They are supposed to do lab work and urinalysis prior to prescribing it and none was done that day. It is never to be prescribed to any pet with any known heart problems. They knew he had a heart murmur. They are required to send everyone home with a patient info sheet. I never received it. This drug was created for dogs with arthritis. My Goliath had an infection.

Side effects included everything he was suffering from Friday! The vet on Friday didn't even make the correlation! Pets with these effects, with proper treatment, have a 95% survival rate! 95%!!!!!!! On top of that, the euthanasia was not immediately effective. They told me he was gone, however, he was still warm and slightly breathing 10 hours later. We were told we would have to take him in for another shot. He passes on his own before morning. But what a traumatic experience!

He was my heart and soul. He was my child! I helped deliver him into this world! Have had him since. Vets lack empathy anymore. I am just as angry as you are! Fight it! I am going to! Our boys didn't deserve that! I already talked to the doctor of pathology at our states lab and am making the trip to take Goliath in for a necropsy. I have already filed a complaint against the vet to the state board. You need to fight for your boy, as well. So it never happens again!

(((Hugs)))

__________________
Missing my baby boy Goliath....A little heartbeat by my feet
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ItCannotBeTrue

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Posts: 21
Reply with quote  #54 
Please tell me it's not true. I'm in a bad dream. It will back to normal. My full family. Everyone here. This is not real. I'm dying here. It's not true. It just can't be. These things aren't supposed to happen. It was Xmas Eve. A happy day. I was concerned he would be drowsy while we were out eating. I didn't want to leave him alone. I was going to stay home to watch over him. He never came home. It can't be true. It just can't be. My worst nightmare. My baby wasn't safe. I vowed to protect him. I always protected him. Why? Why? This is so wrong. I am struggling. I can't sleep. I have no appetite. I want to be happy again with my baby next to me. Please, he has to come back.
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