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Sassylinda

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Reply with quote  #31 
Hello again

I feel your pain it cannot be true and I wish I could offer you words of comfort. I have been volunteering at the Dogs Trust and find that it really helps me, spending time with these beautiful creatures who people just give up (which is beyond me!) unless it is circumstances beyond their control. I’ve also been abroad since my little angel passed helping out at dog shelters there. It has helped me to realise although my precious girl had a short life and was taken far too soon she had a very good life. There is no doubt in my mind that your little peanut also had a wonderful life too, perhaps one day you will be able to take comfort from that too. Keep posting as you are not alone, lots of suppprt on here as advised.

Take it easy.
SL
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CaseyM

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Reply with quote  #32 
It will get better...our Moses left us last week, and today the 7th Feb it's my 52 b-day. Sad that I can't physical touch him, but I feel him around us. When we leave this earth we will be back with them, he promised us that, that should put a smile on ur face. God bless all of you. Casey M.
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Nance1600

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Reply with quote  #33 
Hi. I lost my baby girl 13 weeks ago and still cry every day. I'm having a very difficult time as well. 12 years of 24/7 pure love & happiness gone. I was hoping by joining a support group that it might help. I will keep you as well as all grieving pet parents in my prayers.
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155

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Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #34 
Nance1600,
I am deeply sorry for the loss of your girl. I lost my cat 5 weeks ago and am still a mess. The 'raw' pain has lessened a bit but the sadness, anguish, and anxiety remains and I can see it remaining for a very long time. It's something you never get over, but time makes it easier to cope.
Hang in there and by all means this forum is an enormous help.

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ItCannotBeTrue

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Reply with quote  #35 
Each day I find it harder and harder to go on my little boy. I am waiting for the end. Doesn't seem to come soon enough. It's not right for me to be here while I let you go there for them to harm you. I can't get it out of my head how frightened you must have been. Why didn't I make one phone call to cancel and never let you ever go there? I can't live with this. It haunts me. Please let me go already. It's over for me
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CaseyM

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Reply with quote  #36 
May I ask your age? I'm 52 and lost my dog last week of 10 years together, it gets BETTER. your little guy wants you to thrive! Maybe even help another less fortunate pet, to give love to. It's only obvious you have a huge heart, maybe that heart can benefit another another. I'm devasted of Mr. Mo not being physically with us anymore, but our dog would definitely not us to be unhappy, your pet is seeing all that you do. Not judging you, there just seeing you because you gave them UNCONDITIONAL love like they give you. Hope these words comfort you. Sincerely Casey Mittleider.
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CaseyM

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Reply with quote  #37 
Could you share about the Vet? Casey.
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CaseyM

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Reply with quote  #38 
Did you have a autopsy done? If negligence was the cause I would look into the practice to see if other animals were impacted by the said Vet practice, I am 100% with you, My mind wonders about my own dog and if a second opinion could have gave him more time? Even though Mo was elderly. My heart aches with you, please believe that. Casey Momo's Dad.
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ItCannotBeTrue

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Reply with quote  #39 
Dear my little baby. I am having the hardest time of my life. I think about you all day. Life is all wrong without you. I think that you will return. I dream that I will go back to before this, hold you in my arms and not let you go. I am not liking life at all these days. So unfair for you, not me. Why would I let this happen? I am no good. I don't deserve you. I want you here. Why? Why can't you be here again? Life is not so great. You never did anything to deserve this. I will never stop dreaming and loving you my beautiful little boy with your smiling eyes. It's all wrong! They ripped apart our family. Your brothers are missing you. We are missing you. I need you here. Please come back to me. Please!
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155

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Reply with quote  #40 
Tina,
Have you seen a doctor about what you're going through? Maybe you could be given something to help you cope or at least talk to you.
It's so extremely hard to deal with this kind of loss but you have to eat and keep your strength .
My thoughts are with you every day Tina.
Please take care of yourself.

Carol xo
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ItCannotBeTrue

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Reply with quote  #41 
Thank you Carol. I'm learning concerns about our pets are our own, not others and fall on deaf ears, including my dr. I was told the state vet board may take a year to take care of this. My husband has been trying to understand. I find it hard to forgive myself. All in all it's me alone to sort it out. No family or friends. I'm out of strength. I am in the darkest place I've ever been and I'm falling so deep I don't think I will ever come out. That's okay as long as I keep falling and don't come back.
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155

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Reply with quote  #42 
Yes I know the state boards can drag out any case. It's always a matter of time like most things. But what about you talking to a doctor about yourself?
You are distraught and you need to talk to someone .
The forum is wonderful but maybe someone in person would be beneficial too.
Your husband likly feels pretty bad too but he maybe just keeps it bottled up. It's pretty hard to get inside someone's mind . You have to put trust somewhere so that you can get past this crippling pain and get to a place that's more tolerable. Everyone grieves at their own pace and that's how it should be but you can't allow yourself to just fall apart. And you can't be blaming yourself. You did what you had to do . You loved your baby and you did what you thought best. You are the last person to be harboring any guilt! Your baby KNOWS that Tina and he would not want you to be feeling this way. I know that's easy to say but he does see you , and all he wants is for you to get feeling better.

Many Hugsssss
Carol



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CaseyM

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Reply with quote  #43 
Explain end this?
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ItCannotBeTrue

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Reply with quote  #44 
This is imaginary. I am writing to my dog who could not read while alive and now he's in a box so he really can't read or understand anything I say or write. I'm just fooling myself. He's gone, that's it. I can't even look at his picture or personal items without breaking down because it is all wrong. I should not be mourning my young dog who was not sick. I find this too hard to believe. I'm not accepting this. That vet killed my dog. Never told me what happened. He killed him and knows why. I am not coping. It's draining me. Barely surviving. Incredibly worse every day. If broken hearts really kill, I don't have much more time. That's okay with me. Sooner the better.
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CKMP

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Reply with quote  #45 
Dear It Cannot Be True,

I am so so sorry for your loss, for your pain and for your sorrow.  While imaginary in one respect the writing is in another a way of talking to your sweet loved pup.  Often the words we spoke to them were an opportunity for them to hear the love within our voices, to understand much more than we often thought they might have - a part of that bond that is forged between them and us.
Grief and sorrow becomes mired with guilt, anger and bitterness for us...We replay those last days, or hours over and over looking for the what ifs, might haves and could haves...and to try and affix a blame, a reason why either to what we did, what we did not do or what others may have done or not done...Time is not a healer of this sorrow and grieve and mourning does not follow a fixed schedule...It takes as long as it takes and that may be forever.  Perhaps what time does do is just provide the setting for us to try and learn how to live differently now without our so loved fur one...We feel so responsible - and are responsible for so much for them, that it becomes absolutely unbelievable that we cannot control all.  Guilt is a terrible thief of our love, our gratitude and our true sorrow...And too many people are uncomfortable with grief and sorrow over the loss of a fur one the our anguish, our pain falls seemingly on deaf ears.  We do grieve differently and show it differently and live with it differently...
It sounds as if you have other fur ones who do love you and rely on you...and please do not let your anguish rob them of an hour of your love, your attention...I will not ever say that life gets better...it becomes different...and perhaps it is time that allows us to find this different life.  Anger, and guilt are terrible 'guests' within your heart - they move in and stay too long...and threaten to rob you of all the wondrous days spent with your special fur one.  And to rob you of the belief that your special one is still nearby...There will not be a day that goes by that your fur one is not with you -bonds forged are bonds for ever and always.  This loss is so profound it shakes the very understanding of the world and your place within it...It shatters who we believe we are/were and our purpose in life.   It threatens our health - physically and emotionally and is indeed a very real and painful ache that resides deep within the heart and soul.  
Each day is just that - another day...and all you can do is take yourself through that moment, that hour, that day, that week, that month...It takes all your strength to do so..Please do not let guilt, anger and bitterness rob you of the love and those memories of times together that will become so so priceless.  Can you share with the forum your story?  your pup's story...?  There are so many kind, and understanding people here - with shoulders to lean upon so this journey is not one travelled nor taken alone - although it too often seems that way.  Broken hearts are truly broken...your heart will probably never be the same... However, your sweet loving fur one is now your angel - guarding the bond you too forged together and knowing like always you are loved and loving...Put trust and faith within your angel of fur, and look for that touch of your pup that was special to the two of you - it will be there - Please take care of yourself - and please know there are many shoulders here for you.
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