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ItCannotBeTrue

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Posts: 21
Reply with quote  #1 
I love you my sweet little boy. I used to call you "Little Peanut" because you were so small and your feet were a little larger than my thumb.  My little baby who I am missing every single day. Even when you were here, when I left the house, I always missed you and your brothers. I never liked leaving you home for too long. I always wanted to come back as soon as possible so I could be showered with kisses, and dog hugs, and funny antics while you all tried showing off your tricks. Then when it was feeding time, The craziness would begin. You would bite your brother's ears, legs, tease him, he'd play back lightly because he knew he could knock you out, but it was all in fun and the name of love.  Then your other brother would jump on both of you, all in fun and craziness because it was feeding time at the zoo.  Since we lost you, there is no craziness, no funny antics, and feeding time is a lot more tame. You made a big difference, it is dearly missed.

Your adventurous personality was the excitement at home. You kept me and your dad laughing.  The laughing stopped the day we lost you.

Your fun-loving personality by pulling the blankets over and over your head while trying to jump out kept me and your dad laughing. The laughing stopped the day we lost you.

When we dressed you in your car racing flag-themed checkered jacket, even as a dog, you knew what it meant. Once you had it on, you would do burnouts with your tiny legs and feet and have us laughing.  ("Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines.")  The laughing stopped the day we lost you.

You would have us laughing when you ran down the stairs with your big crocodile squeaky toy that was as large as you, and you would make it all the way down the stairs without letting go.  The laughing stopped the day we lost you.


My little baby, I had you since you were a pup. You were only 6, healthy, never sick, and your life was tragically taken from you. I cannot think of only myself, you deserved to live your life! You were a happy, lovable, healthy little boy. You loved your brothers more than anything and loved me and your dad. I am sick over this. 

It was Xmas Eve, medical malpractice. This should have never happened. Inexcusable. I am so sorry. I regret you ever going there. I cry everyday since this happened. Don't know where to turn. I have to be strong for your brothers, but you should be with us. This is just not right. It's totally wrong. 

They say it gets better. It's over 6 weeks yet it seems like yesterday. I barely eat, cry all the time, and wonder why?  I had a bad feeling about that place, too. I wish I could go back and cancel then you would be here kissing all of us like you always did. My guilt and grief overwhelms me. I am broken. I'm sorry I failed you. 

I want you to know I love you always. I will never forget you. You taught me so much. I am a better person because of you, yes, a little dog has made me a better person because you were my little kid.

  I LOVE YOU

two-hearts-logo-vector.jpg 
 

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ItCannotBeTrue

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Reply with quote  #2 
I can't stop thinking about you, my little guy. I keep wondering where I went wrong. How could I have failed you. I always protected you, yet your life was taken away. I am still in disbelief. I am tormented by guilt and grief. I am so sorry. I am sorry I failed you. 

I wish I could hold you again with your big kisses. You were the light in this house. It is dark without you. 

You should be here. There was nothing wrong with you. You were healthy. I thought you would outlive me. I wish so much this didn't happen. 

My heart is broken in a million pieces. I am having a difficult time. Please forgive me. 
 
      I love you
 
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CazeeKaz

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Reply with quote  #3 
I agree it has been harder for me to function in all areas of my life. This place helps.
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ItCannotBeTrue

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Posts: 21
Reply with quote  #4 
To my little baby, my love. I am thinking of you as I do each and everyday. I don't know how to live without you. My heart is breaking. I keep wondering why I didn't prevent you from going there. I don't know. I miss your cute face, your playfulness, the fun and love you brought to us in your short life. You were meant to live a long life. I don't know what to do without you. I'm sorry my baby, I am so sorry.

I love you my little sweetheart
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155

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Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #5 
I am so very very sorry for the loss of your doggie.
I am broken too at the loss of my cat . It's been a month yesterday I had to have him put to sleep.
My whole world has been crushed. Nothing I do seems normal anymore. I have no more routine, no reason to go to sleep at night or get up in the morning. Of course I WILL get up , but I have no reason to.
I wish I could offer you words of comfort but I don't have words other than to say how sorry I am this happened to you and your little boy.
I think coming to this forum however is a very good thing. The people here, though they don't know you feel such compassion for you that it's a start.

Hugs to you..
Carol
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ItCannotBeTrue

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Reply with quote  #6 
I am in tears and they won't stop. I don't where to begin. I am finding out more information about what that vet didn't do to help you.  You had your pre-op. As it was they made us wait almost 28 days until your procedure, much too long I am finding out. They should have made the pre-op and procedure closer together, but not until the cause of your elevated glucose was found, and you should have been treated for the cause until your glucose was at normal limits.

Today I found out that they cleared you for this procedure with elevated (glucose) sugar, highlighted HIGH by the lab, even though you fasted more than 12 hours. They never told me about these results. I found it by reading your lab paper today. They never addressed it. They never took precaution by having us postpone and have you tested again to find out what the cause was. I am livid about this. This is negligence. Your brother was to get his teeth cleaned too, and he had elevated red blood cells which I was never told. I have to get him checked because now I'm worried, it's been over 2 months since his test. No matter what they assumed to be a cause, nothing is fact until the cause is found. They kept all of this from me!  This is unacceptable. Your elevated glucose was possibly a sign something was wrong. A pre-op is to make sure there is nothing wrong, and if there is something abnormal, no procedure should be performed until your test results are normal!  You could have been getting sick, and I didn't know. As professionals, they should know.. It could have been from stress from being there, but either way, it was a red flag. Never assume. The lab red flagged it for a reason. I trusted that your lab work was clean because they told me. I didn't get your notes right away. They never gave me your notes during checkout, I always had to go pick them up because they are so backwards there, they can't even use a laptop to type in the notes so they never had them ready. You were never sick and not symptomatic. In the past, your lab work was clean, but this time something showed up; They knew you were having a procedure and they kept it from me.  They put you in harm's way. They were supposed to do all to keep you safe.

I am so sorry. I didn't know. I don't know if this also had something to do with their error by not doing everything necessary during recovery or I don't know if your unreported abnormal glucose was the reason there was a problem in the first place and then they failed to save you on top of all their mistakes. Is this why they checked "no" for pre-op in your notes, maybe they saw what they did and wanted to cover themselves to show as if no pre-op was done.  I am so devastated about this. It breaks my heart to know how negligent they were. How many others have they harmed?  I'm sorry my baby.  I am so sorry. So many things that didn't have to happen. Senseless. It's despicable they took you from me.

I can't believe this has happened. It's inconceivable.

I'm sorry.

I love you forever


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Hamfamily

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Reply with quote  #7 
I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like your little baby was taken too soon. I 100% agree and sympathize , my own baby was taken from me way too soon. I understand what it's like to have a dog be healthy and happy one day and then gone the next minute. It sounds like you are still struggling to overcome your guilt. But you need to stop beating yourself up, your dog knew that you loved him and did everything you could for him. It also sounds like those vets are not competent, I would suggest going into a legal battle with them. I might help you get some closure and stop other babies from being taken away from their families as well.
Best of luck xx
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ItCannotBeTrue

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Posts: 21
Reply with quote  #8 
Here I am again, missing you. I want you to know every day is a struggle without you. It's so quiet without your energy and little bark. You would stop and watch me with your beautiful brown eyes and happy face, and sort of smile at me. I miss you following me around the house and then when I would leave a room, I would look for you, only to find out you were in the other room with me the entire time. I miss when you would just look at me as if you admired me. It would make me feel so good as if you were sending your love to me. How can I do it without you? I am so lost. I miss you so, so much.

I miss your little feet, a little larger than my thumb, that pitter-pattered while you ran around with a squeaky toy as large as yourself. I'm sorry if I took you for granted. I always thought you guys would be here for a very, very long time. I see now how short life is. I will never take your brothers for granted. I will kiss them for you as you always did, you were always full of kisses. You loved them so. I will hug them and tell them you are still here with us and you still love them. 

I cry almost all day, every day because I miss you so, so much. Just one day to see you again, I would be so happy. I'd want you to take me with you, but I have to be here and strong for your brothers. I don't cry in front of them, I don't want to upset them. They are already grieving the loving brother they miss. Please wait for me and look for me, for I hope we will be together again. 

I love you always 

XXXXXX OOOOO 


Your mom
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tripodteddy

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Posts: 5
Reply with quote  #9 
I am so sorry for your loss. I understand the guilt that comes with decisions around a pet. I go over and over in my head if had just made a different decision or a known better I could have prevented all the heartache I am dealing with now. The loss of that connection and the absence you feel after its gone is a constant reminder of what you no longer have. It sounds like your lovely pup had a very happy life and lots of love. I hope for you, like myself, that I can value that time without feeling the guilt or that I am the reason I no longer have my baby. I have been to counseling and the only thing that helps is to take one day at a time and focus on my own self-care. Give yourself the love that you are missing. xx
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ItCannotBeTrue

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Posts: 21
Reply with quote  #10 
I grieve here in a pool of tears. I'm not eating. I can't focus. I don't know how much longer I will last. Trying to do this, but it's not working. I don't know what hurts more, knowing they let my dog die because of their irresponsibility, or not having him here with me.  I keep thinking he would be here if only I had looked over the lab report myself and not relied on their lie that he was fit for anesthesia. They told me his report was clean. I trusted them!  He was not a candidate whatsoever. The report was abnormal and they never told me! Never checked the reason why. Never wrote it in the notes, except that it was OK. The reason for pre-op lab work is to make sure everything is normal, nothing wrong. My dog may have been getting sick and they neglected to find out why the results were abnormal. What did they do, read another dog's report instead?  How irresponsible could a vet's office be to miss something like this? That vet took an oath to keep my dog safe. He broke that oath. There is no excuse for this. I just can't believe this has happened. I'm living in a fog. I grieve. My other dogs grieve.

There's nothing I can do now. My young, happy, loving dog is gone due to their negligence.  That office goes on like nothing happened. They don't care. It's all about greed and money. They tried passing the blame though they know the truth. I believe in instant karma.

I am beyond tears. Beyond anger. Beyond sadness.  I am unable to function.
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155

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Posts: 114
Reply with quote  #11 
I am so sorry for your loss. What a terrible shame.
I know you are beside yourself with grief at this time and unable to focus. I can surely relate to that as can the wonderful people of this forum.
It's just so awful enough without having doubts on the capability of the vet that you trusted with your baby's life. Absolutely dispicable!
Perhaps when you're feeling a little better or with some help from a family member you could ponder on whether a negligence suit might be an option or choice. Without getting into a long detailed story because you are not up to all that at this time I can tell you that a friend of mine after I believe 6 months of her dog's passing she ended up filing suit against her dog's vet based on gross negligence. She had all the reports encompassing everything leading up to and including the passing. In the end she won the suit and I believe the particular vet was suspended from practise.
I know right now however you are not doing well at all so allow yourself time. I find losing my pet was the hardest thing of my life . They become our world and without them our world shatters.
Once again I am so very very sorry for your loss and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Hugs...
Carol
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ItCannotBeTrue

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Reply with quote  #12 
I'm dragging it. It hasn't been easy. I'm sure many can say that. I am just sticking around in case it gets better. I'm not expecting miracles. I won't be satisfied until I am with my little baby again. My time is getting shorter here. Maybe down the line I get to Rainbow Bridge, too. And then I'll be just a memory here.  I will see you again my little guy. 

I will never forgive myself. I knew you'd be nervous there and I only recently found out your sugar was high, maybe from stress, but that's MAYBE.  If he was a caring vet he'd would have looked into the problem, even if he assumed it was stress, he should have had us take you home rather than stress you out. He took an oath to keep you safe, but broke it. Instead he put you in harm's way and allowed you to die. He should called me to come get you if he had any decency. No one knows for sure if you were even getting sick. That's the vet's responsibility to recognize that and to tell us about it. He never did. He should be arrested. He better watch himself. What goes around comes around. His day will come.

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ItCannotBeTrue

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Reply with quote  #13 
It's not the same here my little boy. I miss you waking me up in the morning, jumping on me, giving me kisses. Each day seems harder without you. I look for you. Nothing is the same. Your little coat and sweater are in the same place. I haven't moved your harness. I don't dare look at your collar or my tears will then fill an ocean. How do I cope knowing I will never see you again? Nothing is the same. Nothing is right. I cry and cry. It won't bring you back. That vet will pay somehow.

I love you and I miss you forever

Your mom
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ItCannotBeTrue

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Posts: 21
Reply with quote  #14 
To my baby. It's not at all easier. I'm waiting to join you. It may be sooner than my life had originally intended. That's okay. I am ready. I will see you if there really is a Rainbow Bridge. Otherwise I won't see you if there isn't, which I won't know until then. Too much pain here for me. I should have kept you safe and I failed. There's no excuse. I hope to see you soon.


I love you baby 

llllll
xxxxxxxx
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155

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Reply with quote  #15 
I hope your ok. Please just hang in there dear. I feel the same as you but you have to give it time.

Hugs
Carol
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