RobFrost Show full post »
RobFrost
Thank you Andrea. To be honest, I would still be dealing with the grief and dispair of the timing, and manner that I had to let King go if it wasn't for the support of this great community. I know deep down in my heart that I did the right thing, but it will never feel completely right. Knowing that I am not alone in my struggles is a positive. Also, knowing that the love felt between my soul and King's will never be forgotten nor broken, helps me. It's hard not to think of King's last days, as I'm sure it's hard not for you to think of Coco's. But, our relationships should be defined with connection of love throughout the years, and not the final days. We will all be together one day again, and that has been keeping my mind at ease. I prayed that King would forgive me for not being there at the end, but I then began to realize, he was not in pain when he went, and he was also spared the visual of me falling to pieces. I tried my best to save him, and give a chance, but now that I think of the situation, I was really only saving him for selfish reasons. He was in pain. He didn't want to be in pain anymore. He wanted to be free. This was evident to me by the signs he has been sending me. He is telling me that it's OK. Maybe it's his way of sending me a thank you card. I hope my story has helped at least one person. Sending love to you and Coco. - Rob
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ahartofilis
Rob,  I think that most of us will always feel some level of guilt, including me, for the way we lost our treasured companions. It does help tremendously to have the support and shared experiences of so many wonderful people here. We can get a healthier perspective knowing that we are not alone.
  It is obvious how very much you love King. I was a real mess for quite a few weeks after loosing Coco. It was an emotional rollercoaster with more downs then ups I might add. Your story helped me tonight. Take all the time you need to grieve, express, talk about your lovely boy King. I am very sorry for his loss. I just wanted to mainly offer that support and comfort.............please take care.................Sincerely, Andrea.
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nancynancy
Rob,
Only you can answer that question if you did the right thing. It is a VERY personal decision, and what I may think is right, (or someone else), may not be what is right for you and your kitty. You did what you thought you SHOULD have done. There is no right or wrong. I did something similar, and I do not think it was the right choice to make, but I made it and can't change it, we are only human. "Death ends a life, not a Relationship". Perhaps you can hold onto what I hold onto to: The pain, fear, and suffering are gone for them. That can't be wrong.
Nancy and forever Zaki
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CB
Hi Rob,

Thankyou for your message of comfort on my thread.
Thankyou also for telling me the story about the fly with you yesterday and your Dad's experience today. Too many things are happening for it not to be signs. All of you are seeing the same. Like me you are analytical so like me you'd know that if it it was just you seeking comfort then statistically at least one of you would be skeptical. At least one person would be refuting it. It isn't just you though is it. Your neighbour confirmed signs from her Mum's death. The lady at the pet crematorium said there are signs. It just isn't possible so many 'normally' objective people can be wrong. That's before we even start thinking about the amount of people here who have had signs.
I am intrigued that the fly was on your Dad's watch. There must be a message there about time. I bet it is something like your Buddy telling you all that he was given time and however long he waits to meet you again it will seem like the blink of an eye.

I'm so pleased for all of you that this is happening.

Believe as you do. I believe it is all good. (Apart from the pain that is)
Love you forever and ever and I will be there for you xx
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RobFrost
Nancy. I am sorry for your loss. I do appreciate everyone's advice, even though it is a personal thing. It is nice to have a support group that understands what you are going through. And it is also nice to hear other people's perspective on my choice. It will always somewhat bother me that I wasnt there when he crossed over, but I think over time that feeling will hopefully subside, and I will think of nothing but joyous times.

CB, the signs were a nice surprise. I really feel that he was with me at that moment. And now since I've felt that way, I just and talk out loud to him. Hopefully he hears me.
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CB
He will hear you. I talk to Fiddle all the time. Sometimes in my head, especially if stuck at work. Most times when I can I talk out loud. I tell him about my day as I always did, tell him what he means and how much I love him. I did so for all of his 15 years I see no reason now to stop.
When last week was so tough with my Mum, even the days leading up to that final sad one, I would talk to him outloud for the whole journey from the hospital. More often than not crying all the time. Not a great way to be driving and some passing people must have thought I was crazy but I just don't care. My husband talks to him too.
Love you forever and ever and I will be there for you xx
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monicaandmax
Rob

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby Max four months ago and it has been so hard. Max was at the hospital when the vet called to tell me he was not doing well. He was in a hyperbaric chamber because he was having trouble breathing. He had been there for a week battling pneumonia .. A side effect of surgery he had had 2 years prior (larpar). At first he was doing great and about 3 days in he started to get worse. The vet called me daily to give updates in the morning and we would go see him after work..March 16 they called to say things were not good. I was 40 minutes away and I rushed to be by his side. I made the hardest decision of my life that day and was by his side, sometimes I wish I didn't see him the way I did that last time. It was truly awful. I try to replace that memory with all the amazing ones from the past 14 years but it is hard. On the way home after Max had passed away..my parents and I saw this incredible crazy rainbow around the sun. All the way around! I had never seen such a thing and I took a bunch of pictures of it. Apparently it is called a halo 22 and its when Ice crystals form around the suns rays. I have never before seen one and I choose to believe it was a sign from Max saying he is ok:) Google it if you have time. They are so cooll.

I believe in signs just like you do. I think we both got our signs :)

Monica
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RobFrost
I like the idea of him being able to hear me, and understand me. Today and yesterday I was fine all day, then at night time I was just overcome with a feeling of sadness. I know there are going to be days like this, but I am trying my best to focus on the positive.
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CB
Yes evenings are hard. I find them very difficult too. I think it is good to focus on the positive but hard too when it all seems so unfair. Signs are so important as Monica says.
Love you forever and ever and I will be there for you xx
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jonancy
Rob

So sorry about the loss of King, reading your posts brought me to tears. What a beautiful boy. I smiled when I read he liked Heineken bottle caps, he has good taste. The fly stories are amazing, how can this just be a coincidence? I believe these flies are a sign that King is okay. If he sent a bald eagle it would be hard for him to walk on your hands, even though that would be an amazing sight.

Take care,
Jonancy...Scooters Mama
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EllaMom
I also love the discussion that there are signs.  I've been so busy lately--fostering 2 (human) kids--and haven't been reading this forum.  This was a really nice reminder that my Ella is still with me.  It made me feel hopeful.
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RobFrost
Monica, what a beautiful way for Max to show you he was ok! Unbelievable! As I said before, I always have been a very analytical person, and the first day the fly stuff happened, I thought I was trying to make myself feel better. But when I doubted, I think King came back to me on the second day, like hey, it's really me, get your head outta your butt! After the second time it happened, I haven't asked for anymore signs. I believe that he is safe, happy, and a ball of energetic love.

Jonancy, King was awesome. Even though I have other fur babies, and love them all equally, I just felt that he was the one that was a small part of me. We pretty much had identical personalities. And he did only love Heineken bottle caps, he scoffed at other beers. :)

Ellamom, thank you for reading my story.

Love and positive vibes sent to everyone.
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monicaandmax
Oh that is too funny about the Heineken!! I love it!! He sounds like a total goofball!
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