We took our 6 month old mini aussie to the beach this weekend for his first ever trip. I was so excited to walk my sweet boy on the beach and take pictures of him playing in the water and with the kids. We got there Saturday morning and he seemed stressed out by the loud noises and the long drive. He followed me around but didnt seem to want to play. He threw up and wasn't himself. I panicked and thought he had parvo. I was reassured by everyone that he was just car sick and nervous from all of the people there. Sunday he had direaha and was not wanting to move. We came home sunday and he puked blood everywhere. I called the vet and was told to bring him in first thing Monday morning and that he probably just had a sick tummy or GI issue from something he ate and the stress. I layed by his kennel crying and praying. Gave him water and pepto and told him how much I loved him. Monday morning I looked at him and said his name. He sat up and I prayed it was just the tummy issue. I went to work. My husband dropped my sweet boy off at the vet at 8 am when they opened. They called and said he had parvo and put a catheter in with fluids, anti nausea meds and antibiotics. I kept in touch all day messaging and calling. I was so relieved when they told me Tuesday that he was sitting up and though he was depressed he seemed to be feeling better. Wednesday I got the call. I'm sorry Kristi I have some bad news....those words will forever haunt me. He didnt make it. He passed in the night. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! He was perfect Friday. My perfect sweet little boy. He died alone and sad in a kennel wondering why he was there. Why I had left him alone. What he did wrong. I left work in tears and sick to my stomach. I laid with his cold lifeless little body for an hour. Crying, petting him, telling him how much he was loved and begging for forgiveness that I couldn't save him. This was yesterday. I cried from 8:30 am until 8 PM. I cried myself to sleep. He had an agressive form of parvo and nothing could be done to save my baby. Why him? Why!!!! My heart is so broken. I find myself sick to my stomach and filled with anxiety, pain and guilt. Why? Why did my sweet precious baby have to die a miserable death? He was the most loving, sweet, affectionate, loyal and handsome boy. He was my best friend. Fed the chickens and goats with me every day, met me at the porch every morning and every night. Played endlessly with the kids and loved us all so much. Followed me so close that I'd step on him almost every day. He was NOT just a dog he was my family, my baby and my best friend. I am lost and hurt. I dont know what to do with this pain and this huge hole in my heart. My kids are handling it much better than I am. Telling me mom he is in heaven with God and hes not suffering its going to be ok. This I know but I cant help but feel like it's all my fault. I didnt take him in soon enough, I shouldn't have taken him to the beach, I should have protected him. My heart is broken. So broken. I've had several panic attacks and fits of anger, hurt and guilt. I love him so much. I will never watch him chase another chicken, play with the goats, or sneak into the grain. I will not watch him grown into a big boy who would protect our family and show us unconditional love. He will never greet me at the door. Never lick my face or chew up another shoe. We will never grow old together. I'm angry so ANGRY!!!! I want him back and I want him back right now. Please somebody tell me the pain will stop and that this hole in my heart will heal. I'm sorry chooch. I'm sorry I didnt protect you, I didnt save you. I will never be able to forgive myself. I'm dying inside.
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I’m so so sorry. He is a gorgeous baby. No words will comfort you right now...I know...been there. It’s hard...we want to know WHY?? Why so young??? But we won’t ever know why. 😰. I can tell you as time goes on... you will get past the shock...the disbelief...the anger...the for now as painful as it just have to go through it. It was not your fault... if you had known you would have stayed with him all the time...but you couldn’t have known. Notice I say He IS gorgeous...I believe he lives on ... there is no death. I have another dog that is still with me and often in the evening he looks around in space as if he is looking at something... I believe our Buddy is still here with us in spirit. We lost Buddy 6 months ago. Praying for you! ❤️
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Mommabear, I'm so sorry for your loss of this sweet, baby boy. How devastating to lose one so young!  I wish I had words that could relieve you of your guilt and broken heart, but it will take time to heal. My heart goes out to you very much.

Parvo is such a vicious disease! Such an awful thing, so sudden and so cruel.

I know you counted on having your sweet pup with you for years to come, and I hate that so much has been stolen from you.

The first few days of grief are beyond hideous and so tough to bear. I hope you can take good care of you while your grief is so raw and excruciating. And I hope it will help to write here and connect with people who understand how excruciating the pain is. I wish you much comfort. I know it's dreadfully hard.
-Missing Marissa deeply
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