Over the course of 10 days I suddenly lost my beloved Siamese sisters, Belle and Bernadette, at the age of 15.  I got them together as kittens.  Bernadette apparently had a heart condition and Belle an extremely rapidly growing inoperable tumor.  Despite regular veterinary visits, we were unaware of these ailments.  Cat owners know that cats are masters at hiding pain and illness.  It was like they were their normal loving selves one day and the next deathly ill.

At first I was numb with shock, but now that is wearing off and being replaced by overwhelming grief and sadness.  The lovely home we built in 2016 is now a hollow nightmare with the two of them gone.  I keep expecting them to come around the corner or meow for their favorite treats and of course they don't.  THIS SUCKS!  I don't know how anyone lives without animals!!  This is like getting your heart ripped out of your chest and having it stomped on over and over again!

A small consolation is I am a foster parent for a cat rescue and have two foster kittens I am taking care of in a special room set up for that.  But while they are cute, they aren't my girls!!

Interested in suggestions any of you might have.  Every day is a struggle right now.
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Thank you for posting on this amazing forum. I am so sorry to here of the loss of Belle and Bernadette. But wow, what an amazing 15 years the three of you must have had together. So many happy experiences, time to build loving and caring relationships, and I agree that losing them is horrible in every way and shape in the world. I know that you are utterly grieving your loses. This is not going to solve your grief, but I recently lost my 19 and a half year old cat. I was stunned, horrified, cradled in grief and hopelessness, and remain in a lingering state of grief.

The good thing is that you have come to the right place. Everyone here has experienced the loss of one of their furry babies, cats, dogs, ferrets, birds, etc. And although we all experience grief differently, we are all here to comfort and help one another.

Numbness, shock, depression, anger, fear, loneliness, denial, etc. are all "normal". Allow yourself to feel and mourn your babies as you see fit. Take care of yourself and relish in the memories of your beloved.

Warm regards,
K. Unger
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I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved sisters, Belle and Bernadette.  As a lifetime cat owner everything you have written is so very familiar to me.  Cats are indeed masters at hiding their pain and it is a profound shock when they go so quickly from being "themselves" to having a terminal illness.  

And the absence is felt over and over when you expect them to come around the corner, to jump on your bed and they are not there.  My Lenny cat has been gone since February and I still think I hear him coming and expect him to be in my lap in the next minute or two and he is not there.

I keep discovering his cat balls that he hid in so many different places and want to show him that I found another one--and then I remember.

For me the most intense, gut searing pain has eased and I have "gone on with my life".  But there will always be a hole in my heart that he used to fill.  All I can tell you is that you have come to the right place to be with other people who understand what you are going through. There are no shortcuts through the grieving process but there are many here who can grieve with you.
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