Molly24
My cat Noel passed away just over a week ago and I am devastated. She was not just a cat to me but my emotional support for 15 years. She was my everything. I have never felt that kind of unconditional love from anyone. Now I am struggling with her loss. She is normally who I turn to to make me feel better and now I don’t have her to help me get through this. I feel so lost inside. I feel like I will never be happy again. She was diagnosed with large cell intestinal lymphoma in January. She was a tough cat so I chose to give her more time through chemo. We got the cancer in remission and she was doing well for a while. She had her ups and downs and started to have uncontrollable diarreah throughout the house. Her appetite was always back and forth but that had become a problem originally from the chemo. Noel have monthly vet visits and it didn’t seem the cancer was coming back. All of the sudden she was throwing up and laying on the bathroom floor. I brought her to the emergency vet where they helped me make the hardest decision of my life. It seemed it was her time and the best thing I could do for her was to help her pass peacefully in my arms. Days later my 2 other cats became ill. They were put on anti nausea and antibiotics and are better after a week. I feel like I killed my cat over an illness and not the cancer. It is killing me. I miss her so much and am not sure I made the right decision.
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Molly24
Does the pain and guilt get better?
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Tankie12
Yes Molly it does but it will take time and you may feel worse before it gets better. I’m sorry she sounds like a very special cat and I can read the love you have for her. They really are our everything aren’t they? The one who always makes things better without saying a word. The one who can make the hardest times easier just by being there. I don’t think people will ever be able to love unconditionally and that’s part of what makes our babies soo very special to us.
Don’t doubt yourself, you made the right decision as hard as it was. We grasp for straws desperately asking ourselves all the what if’s. Noel was ready. What you described was not fixable, you know that😔 You did everything right, you helped Noel feel better and gave her extra good, happy days. You are a good Mommy, Molly, even in your grief you took your other cats to the Vet, you knew they were upset as well. I’m really happy they’re doing better they were grieving just like you but you put them first. Just like you put Noel first. She’s a very beautiful girl, hugs,,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Molly24
Thank you so much for the reply. As hard as it is, it makes me feel better to talk about it. I know I did the right thing for her because I would not have made that decision at the time if it wasn’t right. I just keep blaming myself and questioning if I could have done more. I guess that’s just part of grieving. My emotions are all over the place. I think she was ready. I just was not but I would never have been ready. My other babies are helping me through.
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Breezy2013
You made the right decision, Molly.  Sadly, it was just her time.  My parrot died back in June and I have to admit the guilt and what ifs are kicking my butt right about now.  We just both need to tell ourselves, it's a normal aspect of grieving.
If love could have saved you you never would have died.
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Molly24
I am so sorry for your loss! It is such an awful pain inside. The what if’s are what is keeping me in this state.
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Breezy2013
Yes, I wish I would have checked on my girl earlier.  Maybe I could have gotten her to the vet faster and things would be different now.  The vet says it wouldnt have helped but the mind has a bad way of thinking things anyways.  This was my girl, how I want to remember her.
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If love could have saved you you never would have died.
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Molly24
She is so beautiful! We feel this way because we love them so much. We did the best we could to keep them safe. There is always something we could have done different but like you said it may not have made a difference. We have to try and remember the beautiful memories.
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