Flori
Our much beloved cat, Monty, has been ran over just in front of our house on the 8 th of March. I feel absolutely awful because I have let him out through his cat flat just 15 minutes before this tragic accident. I feel very guilty because  I didn’t use to let him out in the afternoon but on this Sunday he had been raining all morning and he stayed inside so I reluctantly let him out because he was sunny and because he was crying in front of his cat flap to go out. I don’t know why but I thought at the time that I shouldn’t let him out.  
He ran in front of our neighbour’s car. They have got a new  electric car and thought that perhaps he didn’t hear the car because it is very silent. They are devastated as well. I feel absolutely devastated because we live in a cul de sac with not very much traffic. I never used to let him out at night and really kept him in before 3 to avoid school run. I have tried to spray him with water  to stop him going at the front and to encourage him to use our back garden.  But that didn’t work.
We had rescued him from Fuerteventura.When he first came to us he was very skinny and in a very bad state. So I decided to feed him and from then he never left out sight. We decided that we couldn’t possibly leave him to die from hunger there. We asked all the other residents if they could adopt him but the answers were all negative. Thanks to a lovely charity and a cat sanctuary he was able to fly to Germany from where we went to pick him up. It was a long trip but it was definitely so worth it. Monty was such a lovely, lovely cat. I miss him so much and the house is very empty without him. I keep thinking he is going to come in from his cat flap any minutes. He used to follow us everywhere. Really the house feels like a big empty space without him.
Obviously with all the issues that the world is been confronted at the moment I cannot talk about the loss of Monty to anyone. I just feel he died because of I left him out at this time. Really the guilt is really awful to think that if I hadn’t he would still be here....
Sorry about this very long e mail. I hope you understand how I feel at the moment and I know lots of people say time is a healer but from where I am standing right now I don’t think it will get any better.
Thank you for taking the time to read this very long e mail.
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Monroegirl
I'm so sorry about the loss of your precious, Monty. You had no way of knowing that would happen. I'm so sorry. This group helps because there are so many here that understand, so feel free to let it all out here. (((Hugs))) to you. 
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cheezybaby
I am so very sorry that you have lost your lovely, Monty. From the way you speak of him, it sounds like you loved him as much as any person can love something and I'm sure he loved you with the same greatness as well.

Just a month ago I lost my little one year old Cheezel to a car accident just as you lost your boy. I can so deeply relate to the sense of guilt you describe, how empty things seem without our loved one there to fill the space, and that time seems to be making no difference in the amount of grief consuming me. But I am trying to teach myself that it will get better. This forum and the kind messages people have sent my way have truly helped in at least sketching out the light out the end of the tunnel - not completely, but enough for me to think that there will be a light someday (not now, or maybe soon, but someday.) I hope that the support can help you in someway too.

I will be keeping you and Monty in my thoughts alongside Cheezel.
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Flori
Thank you for your kind words. It really helps thinking that someone understands how I feel right now. 
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JulieF
Flori - I am so sorry for the loss of sweet Monty.  I agree with Cheezels parent, it sounds like you loved him very much and went above and beyond to take him in.  I know it is hard but please don't beat yourself up.   You did nothing you would not normally do.  Monty would not want that.  He would want to thank you for giving him a better life - for saving him and helping him to live a longer, much better life then he would have.  I did not have an accident take my boy Patch, I had to have him put down at the age of 19 from kidney disease.  I took him in as a kitten from a feral mom.  So, I try to tell myself every day - his life was longer and so much better.  I gave him a lot of love - he would not have had that if he would have stayed outside.  Same with your Monty.  I will tell you that it does start to get better - very slowly in small increments.  But just know it does.  You start to be able smile at the though of him.  You will still cry - don't get me wrong.  It has been almost three weeks, but I still can't get rid of his litter box, his medicine and some other reminders I have of him.  It just takes time.  

Hugs and bless you.  You have found the right place - everyone here knows how you feel.
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