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Fendibear
Reading all of your stories has brought alittle comfort.
I’ve been feeling like maybe I’m crazy for the way I’ve been feeling.
I lost my kitty Fendi almost a month ago now. I rescued her as an adult, when I moved into my first apartment alone 11 years ago. It’s so funny because she was returned by multiple families because she was so high maintenance. I take comfort In knowing no one could have ever given her the life and love I gave to her. She was like my kitty soul mate. I’d hold her when I brushed my teeth or vacuumed. She snuggled up like a teddy bear in my arm nook every night. She had been a constant comfort for me through all of life’s up and downs and heartbreaks. I have another kitty who is 11. I feel so guilty for not having the energy to give him love. I’m so heartbroken. Still, every night I come home from work I sit in my car for about an hour. It hurts to go inside because her absence is deafening. I still haven’t removed her bed or her food dish. This pain is overwhelming but I am also so scared to forget her memories. I don’t know life without her.
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GaryDB
It's been two weeks since I lost Ginger. I still keep looking to her chair thinking she will be there. This really sucks. Now I'm concerned with my other dog who isn't acting normal for her. She doesn't eat as much and all she wants to do is sleep. I thought about getting another dog but cant seem to decide on one. I find myself comparing them all to ginger. I'm really not sure what to do.
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Andee
GaryDB wrote:
It's been two weeks since I lost Ginger. I still keep looking to her chair thinking she will be there. This really sucks. Now I'm concerned with my other dog who isn't acting normal for her. She doesn't eat as much and all she wants to do is sleep. I thought about getting another dog but cant seem to decide on one. I find myself comparing them all to ginger. I'm really not sure what to do.


Aww, the other dog is mourning her loss of Ginger. It is common for other pets to mourn after a loss. You both will need a new pal, eventually. Two weeks may be a bit soon for a final decision for a new dog. Keep looking and thinking about it though, and soon you will be able to dig deep enough to find a small spot for a new fur baby. Best wishes and hugs!
Furry Love Is Forever
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Shelby55
Same boat. Just a couple weeks since I lost my pet. I will get another but I’m not ready. It’ll never be my pet so I don’t want to resent it. Not yet
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deej1103
Gary, your other dog is showing signs of depression too, my cat is also and is trying to show me much more affection, I feel guilty loving him, my Bella was very jealous of the cat. It's been 18 very long days and nights without my Bella. Tonight I sat for hours making a shutterfly album of her, it was heart breaking at times but also gave me comfort looking at all the memories we had shared. I had a nightmare over the weekend that some guy took her from my house, when returning her, he kept giving me the wrong dog. Some lady in the dream says she knew where Bella was and that she'd get her back for me, he had her in a cage because he liked to see them caged up... I was trying to get the guys name and it was being said really fast. I woke up in a sweat and started googling names. The next day I hear on the radio a story of a man finds a dog, brings it home, kids fall in love with it then the owner shows up... all too strange

In searching for her in numerous shelters and on every social media platform, it's heartbreaking to see all those animals needing a real home and all the ones that go missing. I didn't connect with any, none sparked my eye or heart (just yet). I ponder the thought of fostering, any thoughts on that system?
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chooch
I lost my beautiful girl Perla two weeks ago. She was only 6 years old. Misdiagnosed and I am absolutely devastated. I can't stop crying. She was the most special dog. Yellow Labrador, swam like fish, and so so sweet..my friend told me to get another dog and I went to the rescue and saw a sweet boy and when I left I was crying so hard because all I want is my Perla back..my beautiful girl.
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Deebee58
I wish I could say it getsxeasier but after 7 weeks I still haven't got over losing Sassy my beautiful loving happy little staffy and I still break down in tears every day.
I am now contemplating another dog but not until after my holiday but I am still worried I may not feel the love for another dog after my very special girl.
I firmly believe that veterinarians are quacks and if it's not a broken limb or something requiring stitches they have no idea and just take a shot in the dark.
There is no way my beautiful girl should have died .
D a bryce
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Deebee58
The hardest part of all this pain is trying to come to terms with the fact that I will never see my Sassy again. There has been times when I felt that I could gladly join her.
I have applied to become a dog Walker/ sitter with a couple of agencies thinking it may help bring me around to the idea of having another dog as I would get my doggy fix without having the total commitment yet which I do not think I am quite ready for.
D a bryce
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Pivoboy65
GaryDB wrote:
I am truly heartbroken. Yesterday I lost my girl Ginger out of nowhere. She was barking out the window like she usually would and then she collapsed on the couch and a couple of minutes later she was gone. I have really been having a hard time dealing with this I dont know how to move on without her. I can't imagine my life without her. I don't know what to do now. Could I have done things to calm her down so this wouldn't have happened. I feel like someone just ripped my heart out. I was dealing with bad depression and I got Ginger and she saved me and now she's gone.
David becak
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Pivoboy65
I feel you . Our Doberman died instantly on Memorial Day. Joker ate, went outside and just fell over and died. He had some back and leg issues and was in pain. We were probably going to have to make a decision soon on his future. He went ahead and made it for us. That is the way he was. Hang in there buddy. I know the grief is unbearable and there is nothing I can say to make you feel better.
David becak
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Living_with_tragedy
Hi Gary,

Checking to see how you are and how your other dog is.  When I first lost my dog, his blood brother was not eating much. They both ate side by side.  His bowl and mat were still there. I could not move them, I was still in denial. Once I moved them away his brother started eating better.  I think he was waiting for his brother to come and eat next to him.  I have another dog was his best friend. I can tell he has been sad.  I think he is waiting for him and is confused.  I've been giving both of them a lot of attention.  Your other dog may need some extra attention. I wish it could make it better for both of us. 
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deej1103
Thinking of you Gary and wondering how you're holding up?
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GaryDB
I'm doing okay I still look for ginger. It did help me to make a memorial outside for her. I sit out there and talk to her everyday
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Memories_of_Marmalade
Dear FendiBear,

What a beautiful and unique girl your Fendi was. Thank you for sharing your and her story here. So many of your comments really hit home for me:

"I’ve been feeling like maybe I’m crazy for the way I’ve been feeling."

This is how I am also feeling. Like I am going insane with grief & loss. And having 2nd thoughts about my final decision to end my Marmalade's (a cat) pain & suffering.

"I lost my kitty Fendi almost a month ago now."

I too lost my Marmalade just over 4 weeks ago.

"I rescued her as an adult."

I also adopted Marmalade when he was an adult. He had been a stray. I have no idea how long he had been on the street. But he seemed relieved to receive help. He never left the back door of the house I was residing in, once I began feeding him (and 6 + other strays and feral's.) I realized he had some kind of health problems. He would choke and gag when eating at random, so I began to feed him different foods other than what I was feeding the other members of his colony, and then began to feed him indoors separately. I would have to gently hold him at times by his sides, and pet him to try and keep him calm so he could eat. I took him to the Vets and got him antibiotics a few times a year and that seemed to help. Got him x-rays, ultrasound, blood work, etc. but it never fully went away and got worse. 

"She was so high maintenance. I take comfort In knowing no one could have ever given her the life and love I gave to her."

I can totally relate to this comment too. Marmalade required special care, just to keep him fed and alive. I knew if I left him behind in New Mexico, where our paths had crossed, prior to my moving back to Los Angeles, he would not have survived, as being chronically ill he was in constant danger. And the neighborhood we lived in was going through changes. He was the only stray/feral I could bring with me as he would never run from me. He was like a dog. I eventually also learned that he was deaf. I took care of him the best way that I could. I adored and cherished him the 4.2 years we were together.

"She was like my kitty soul mate."

I too feel that Marmalade was my soul mate too. We had such a unique bond. Almost psychic it was so strong.

I’d hold her when I brushed my teeth or vacuumed.

Marmalade was an Alpha-Male Tom Cat. He had been a "King" back in New Mexico where our paths crossed. The leader of a colony of strays and feral's. He was adored by the females in the colony, as he was respectful and gentle with them, was trusted with the kittens, escorting them to feedings, and he was feared and respected by the males, who were bigger and healthier than him. Being a tough guy, he didn't fancy me carrying him around, although I wish that he had. Sometimes he would allow me to pick him up, but he seemed to be embarrassed by my doing so. He did allow me to squeeze the purr out of him with gentle hugs however. He knew how much he was loved morning, noon and night. He was noble, loyal, steadfast, grateful, kind, sweet and silly.

"She had been a constant comfort for me through all of life’s up and downs and heartbreaks."

It is extraordinary how our beloved pets can help us get through such difficult times. Ditto here, Marmalade saved me countless times throughout our time together. I owed him my life many times over. He gave me something to look forward to and to live for each day.

"I have another kitty who is 11. I feel so guilty for not having the energy to give him love. I’m so heartbroken." 

I hope you continue to travel through time and your broken heart heals. They say that that happens for each of us. I hope your other kitty eventually becomes a deeper source of great love and companionship for you. Thank you again for posting. It is nice to see that we are not alone in our grief.

"Still, every night I come home from work I sit in my car for about an hour. It hurts to go inside because her absence is deafening."

The warehouse loft that Marmalade and I shared is also empty now. I envision him everywhere. He used to meet me at the entrance, and escort me back to our living area. He would walk in front of me down an aisle and keep looking back again and again, slowing his pace to make sure I was still directly behind him. I miss that simple gesture so, so much.

"I still haven’t removed her bed or her food dish."

I am going to keep his food dish and saucer. Pack them up with his brush, favorite blanket from the end etc.

"This pain is overwhelming but I am also so scared to forget her memories. I don’t know life without her."

I too am afraid of losing my memories of Marmalade. The special bond and feelings we had for one another. It hurts to remember, but it also hurts to forget.


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Living_with_tragedy
Hello Gary,
What a beautiful memorial for Ginger. You put a lot of work into it and I bet it didn't feel like work. It was all love you put into it.  I zoomed in and read your inscription. That's so loving. How is your other dog doing?  Is she eating better and sleeping better?

I was thinking about you and Ginger today.  We can learn from each other. My little Chi-Beagle barks out the window and he gets hyped up. He runs from one window to the other. I have been trying to calm my little guy. He's getting older. I worry something could happen to him if he keeps doing this.  

Again, I am sorry for your loss. Maybe when you are ready, you can post some pictures of Ginger and some of her and her sister together. 

~ Parker's Mom
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