k_dharmon
I am new and my name is Kathi and my husband is Duke. We had to put down our little big man on 12/10/2009. It was one of the hardest things I have had to do. It was not fair of me to hold onto him out of greed for myself. I did not want to let go. He was 14 and we got him as a 4 week old kitty. I didn't like cats but I hated farm mice more. He and his sister were adopted to live in our house and keep me free of the pesky critters. He turned out to be one of the best mousers ever. He also wormed his way into my heart big time. I always thought cats were standoffish and unsociable but not my Mr. Tickles. He was so full of love and shared it with everyone who came over. Especially my son in law who doesn't like cats. Tickles just climbed right on him and demanded his caresses. He learned to like Tickles. He loved my grandchildren and loved to chase the lizards on the porch. We built a 14x36 screened porch just for him and his sister to keep them safe but expose them to nature. That was his favorite place to go. He spent the last week of his life on that porch. He didn't want to come in. We spent a lot of time out there with him this past week. I knew the time was coming but I just couldn't bear the thought of letting go. Finally on Thursday I asked him what he wanted me to do and when he looked into my eyes I saw his pain and knew right away. I called my husband home from work and we took him to the vet. He confirmed it was the right thing to do. He will be coming home on Tuesday and I am wondering how we are going to handle it. We still can't stop crying. We have a beautiful
urn, his plaque and his candle but everytime we light the candle and see his belongings we get devastated all  over again. We held him for an hour after his shot so he could feel our love and hear our words of love but I just feel like I did something wrong. We miss him so terribly. He was our child. He was
my comfort. He was just amazing. He was funny. He was loveable. He was and still is such a big part of my heart. Oh God! I hope this gets easier because it is hurting so much. He died 4 years to the day of my grandmother and she loved him too. He's the only cat she ever liked soI hope they found each other. I hope he knows how much we love him. I hope he knows how much we miss him. I hope he knows I did it out of unselfish love. I hope he knows. Dear God, please keep my Tickles happy and let him know I  can't wait to see him again.
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jasminesmom
Kathi and Duke,

First, let me say I am so sorry for your loss. All of us here share your loss. We understand the guilt you are feeling now. When you looked into Mr. Tickles eyes, you knew. When I had to make that same decision for my beloved Jasmine 09-04-09, I looked into her eyes and she was pleading for me to help her, to stop the pain she was experiencing. Kathi, I gave her the drug, ProIn, that caused her to get very sick. So I understand your guilt. I didn't ask for a Client Information Sheet when the vet prescribed it, I trusted my vet. I killed her.

Kathi, coming here you will learn to believe that Mr. Tickles is in a better place. I bet Jasmine opened the gate at The Rainbow Bridge for him to enter.
Mr. Tickles is now free to run, free from pain, free from suffering.

I glad you told us some stories about him. It helps us toknow him better. He was a special soul and he does know how much you loved him, how terribly you miss him.

Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers today.

Hugs,

Cheryl and Angel Jasmine
Jasmine was loved
Jasmine was given ProIn
Jasmine is gone
Cheryl and Angel Jasmine
Jasmine was loved
Jasmine was given ProIn
Jasmine is now gone
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/JAMIN001/Resident.htm
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k_dharmon

Thank you for your kind words. I was so terribly sorry to hear about Jasmine. She sounds so special. You can not say you are at fault because you trusted a professional to treat your baby. How were you to know. We aren't supposed to have to second guess a trained medical person, they are supposed to inform and help. I hope Jasmine was there to welcome Tickles, he loves dogs and loves friends. My heart is still aching so bad and I constantly relive our days and years together. His sister seems more needy now, crawling all over me demanding to be held. My mastiff seems quieter too. She just walks around sniffing and looking. We are supposed to get his cremains today and I have such a nervous feeling about me. I want him home but don't know if I can handle the finality of it. I want him back but not this way. I have never seen my husband cry before but he can't help himself. We are both so devastated. We are now so scared about losing his sister and our mastiff. She (mastiff)is 9 and in failing health and of course his sister (cat)is 14 1/2 like him but seems very healthy. This is it for me and pets. I will own no others after this. They have spoiled me and it would not be fair to another pet to hold him to comparison or possibly not love him as much.
Sorry to rattle on. I will remember Jasmine in my prayers for Tickles.
God Bless
Kathi

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Mary
I can't sit in the same chair that I held my Bean in while he was dying, or listen to same music that was playing when he died. It was beautiful, peaceful music, but it hurts too much to hear it now.
I just recently moved and there are little starving kittens around. I feed them, and also have other cats...but it's still hard. None of them are Bean.
When he was a kitten, I would stay up late painting, and he would sit beside the painting, even though his little head kept nodding to the side, like he had to watch over me.
For some reason, that just grabbed my heart. I had rescued him several times. Once, I let all the kittens stay out while I went to a job that was making me very nervous. For some reason, I thought they would all be there with their mother when I got home, but they were all gone. I somehow knew the little grey kitty was still around, and after calling and crying for hours to find the others, I went down and looked under the Bus Stop bench, and there he was, sitting there, my Bean. I grabbed him up and vowed never to let him go again. But a dog got ahold of him when he was a year old. I took him to the vet and they managed to put him back together. I remember one day I looked at him with so much love in my eyes, that I saw the recognition in his eyes all of a sudden, that he realized he was special. He was my heart.
I had a lot of 'cleaning up my act' to do. I remember he would look at me with a somber shame when I drank too much. It made me so ashamed of myself. He was the reason I quit. He saved me over and over in so many ways.
Then I was coming home from work and he was laying in the parking lot, and blended right in with the pavement, and I ran over his tail, and came within a milimeter of running over him.
His tail had to be amputated, and he developed 'bathroom problems' as a result. He became so consitpated one time, the vet wanted me to put him to sleep, but another vet told me to just give him metamucil, and that worked.
He lived 11 more years after that, until I gave him the frontline.
I'm not rich, and every vet visit was hard for me to pay for, but when it came to him, I found the money somehow.
I am glad he is out of pain, and I am sorry that I didn't know better then to give him the frontline two weeks too soon, but he was literally matted with fleas and their 'debris'.
I am writing this, because if anyone thinks they made mistakes, I made the most. I think I loved him too much. It's probably a good thing God took him from me. He did have many, many happy days, but sure suffered a lot under my care.The other cats which I don't care nearly as much about are just fine, never had any problems. 
Even though I have found one cat I adored from the shelter years ago, most just came to me one way or another.
I guess during the most 'neediest' times of my life, that special one would just show up.
I would caution everyone again about using the frontline that says it's safe for both dogs and cats. It's never safe for cats. I bought it on ebay. They still sell it. I am just going to pay the top dollar and get it from the vet I quess.
I'll post this for what its' worth.

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Princess

Kathi first let me say how very sorry I am for your loss.  I have been here since 2005, and have lost three.  I lost two this year in less than 3 months, our babies , you are so right they are our children. 
It is so hard in your heart you both know  that you made the right decision but I also know that it doesn't ease the pain to know this. 
Time is our friend in our healing, with time I think we dwell more on the happy times we spent together and less and less upon that last hour.  Don't get me wrong you will still have "those days" that you just break down my husband and I both still do, and that is ok too ..the love is simply so strong that it is impossible not to miss that physical being of our babies but know too that they are with us always it is also impossible I believe for our babies to ever leave our hearts while we continue our journey on this side, they are with us it is that golden cord that connects us , they watch over us each and everyday.
 Please know that you never walk this road alone we are all here for you.
Hugs and continued prayers of healing

Debbie Princess, Kaizer and Maddie's mom

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