CK
Our 17yo Jack Russell Hobo had to be put to sleep yesterday and I'm devastated. I can't stop crying. He was having trouble breathing and it progressed really fast. Took him to the vet Friday night they took blood and said his gums were pink. That night he was breathing so fast and couldn't get comfy so I took him to the emergency vet and they whisked him into an oxygen tent straight away. I'm really angry the vet on Friday didn't investigate further!!

Scans showed what they thought was tumours in his lungs, liver and spleen. They wouldn't even let us take him home to be euthanased in his home. What do they were wrong? What if it wasn't cancer and was something else they could treat?

He's been a huge part of our lives and I miss him so much. I also feel so guilty that I didn't pay him more attention. Give him more cuddles and attention. That I didn't investigate his health sooner. He was a small dog but he had a larger than life personality. He was so naughty and it drove me mad but I wish he was here it wouldn't bother me if he weed inside again or went through the bin or chased the cat.

I hope he comes to see us. I felt as though he was around last night but I hope he's somewhere he can run free and be fit and happy.
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CK
Thanks Bonniesmum for your kind words. I didn't know it would hurt this much and that he'd leave such a big hole in our hearts and our home.

We have another dog Bianca who is missing him too so trying to focus on helping her grieve.

Yes he did hide it well. He was a bit slower which we put down to his age but he was still up to mischief right up til the end.
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Mistysmama
I am so sorry about your loss of Hobo.

He always knew you loved him. Dogs are like that. They KNOW we love them, and so long as they have a happy home and things are pretty decent, they accept our failings as just a part of life, and part of the deal for being with us. That is called unconditional love, and dogs are masters of it.
Now....he knows how you love him even more. What's in our hearts shines out for them, and they know. They can read us like a book.
My Misty has shown me so much about how she is now she has passed over and it is really good. So much love and energy.

From what you said about what might have been wrong with Hobo could have been hemangiosarcoma? If it affected his spleen and liver. Hemangiosarcoma usually shows up in the spleen and liver, and can also spread to other areas such as the lungs, heart, brain etc. They are bleeding tumours and usually things start to happen quite suddenly. There is no cure. If that was the case and Hobo was having a bad time with it, then the kindest thing was to let him leave that body. My Misty got that. It can happen in any dog. It is not known exactly what causes it, and there is usually nothing wrong with lifestyle or diet. Even fit healthy dogs can suddenly get it, though it most often gets older dogs.

I do hope Hobo can find a way to let you know he still loves you very much and is okay. He might try to connect with you in a dream. But whatever....he'll be waiting. My Misty has shown me she is waiting. (for me to finish all this silly business on Earth!)
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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Bre
CK,

I am so sorry about Hobo. It sounds like you did the best you could to help him and I think he knows that. Try to let go of feeling guilty. I am struggling with it as well... I have had the same thoughts. I recently lost my cat of 10 years to cancer and I keep having the same thoughts. I wish I could hold her again so badly.. I wish I would have paid more attention... I wish I would have noticed she was sick sooner... I wish I could have done more to help her.  

I think we do the best we can at the time though... and they know that. BonniesMum is right.. don't beat yourself up<3 I try to focus on the positive things I remember from the time we spent together. Writing and visiting this forum also helps. It sounds like you gave Hobo a wonderful and long happy life and he is in a better place now. You will meet again <3 
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CK
Thank you so much for your replies.

I was sitting out the back yesterday having a cry and thinking of him and saw a butterfly fly byand wondered if it was him sending me a sign.

A bit later I took my son and our other dog to the park. I was feeling so sad he wasn't with us but then I saw another butterfly - the same colour as the one before.

It's winter here and I haven't seen butterflies for ages so I hope that's a sign that he's free and happy.

It sounds silly but I hope to have a dream about him soon so I can pat and cuddle him one more time.... until we meet again.... so I can tell him I wanted him to stay but he was too sick. And I'm sorry he couldn't stay at home and had to spend the night at the vet hospital on his own. I hope he understood what was happening and why. And that he didn't feel we'd abandoned him. He was happy to see us the next morning wagging his tail and smiling at us even though he was feeling so poorly. I'm sure he knew we'd never leave him after all the years of being together.
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